Just A Finger

[bstein]

Recently durring sex (doggy style) I lubed my thumb and just rubbed the outside of my wifes ass durring sex. Man did she love it! Trust me she was an avid exit only finatic about her ass. Since then she insist that I take charge in all areas of exploration with out even asking her because the loved the suprise. So the next couple times I lubed my thumb and inserted it and she loves it even more. Since then she asked for full on anal sex wich she could not handle yet when we tried. So I have been trying to formulate a better position to accomodate both me penetrating her pussy with my dick and puting a finger or two in her ass. So far it seems only thumbs will work in the doggy position. I put her on her side in the doggy style position in attempt to use my middle finger but it was just a little awkward for me. and she seemed to want it deeper than I could muster.

Any tips on position? Finger dexterity?

I don't know mabey next time I will try two thumbs or something...

Any advice out there?

[willtryanything]

Try doing it when you're going down on her. Just when she's about to have an orgasm, pull it out slowly. Oh my GOODNESS!!! That is REALLY good! Really, it's Earth shattering.

[CGEM]

Hi,

I believe that Mikayla just recently reviewed a vibrating butt toy with small beads that looked extremely fun and not at all scary. So, if you decide to follow Howard's advice, this toy might be perfect for you, bstein.

[CGEM]

http://forums.tootimid.com/index.php?showtopic=2138

That's the one!

[elise]

Congratulations on "tricking" your wife into enjoying anal stimulation. It's encouraging that your wife was so enthusiastic that she wanted to try anal intercourse right away, but as you've found out it's really difficult to do. It takes time for a woman to become comfortable with a really large object in her anus, whether toy or penis.

If it helps, let me say that I was like your wife at first, i.e., not at all interested in having anything in my ass. In my case, my husband used his fingers/thumb in my ass (depending on position, as you have discovered) during oral sex and during vaginal sex. In essence, this helped me learn to incorporate the sensations of anal stimulation into my existing sexual responsiveness. The first time I really enjoyed anal stimulation was a surprise to both of us... he was licking my pussy, his fingers were wet and doing wonderful things to me, then suddenly his finger brushed my anus and next thing I knew I was coming my brains out with his finger up my ass! From that night forward, cunnilingus always involved a finger in my ass. After a few weeks of that, we found that two fingers felt even better, and a few weeks later, we found that if my clit was getting a good tonguing, with the help of some lube he could push my vibrator (plain-jane smooth vibe, which was all we had at that time) up my ass. That was the night we discovered having a pillow handy to stuff into my mouth to stifle my screams was a good idea. LOL! It was only after I'd had several multiorgasmic sessions with the vibrator in my ass that I began to believe I could accomodate my husband's cock. I wanted him to fuck my ass, but his cock is really ver large, which was intimidating. I have to give him credit: through all of this he never suggested or asked to fuck me in the ass... he'd just make me come with clitoral and anal stimulation, and then he would fuck my pussy to reach his orgasm. We also used fingers and toys in my ass while we fucked, of course. More on that in a minute.

Finally one night I made my decision to go through with it. My husband was totally willing to try it, of course. We started with lots of kissing and foreplay, then moved on to pussy-licking with fingers in my pussy and in my ass, then when I couldn't hold back any longer I told him to put his cock in my ass. He stroked my clit with wet fingers as he penetrated my ass and there was no pain, even though he felt HUGE in me. Between his fingers and his cock I came explosively in seconds, and he followed after only a few hard thrusts. We have enjoyed regular anal intercourse ever since.. we're coming up our ten-year anal anniversary soon!

The point of all this is to illustrate that some girls need a lot more time to get ready for all-out buttfucking. It was probably a year from my first anal-assisted orgasm to our first anal intercourse. In that year we probably had sex 150 times or so, and nearly every time my anus was being stimulated in one fashion or another, and when the time came to lose my anal virginity, it was an ecstatic experience.

If you think it will help, you might share my experience with your wife. She's probably feeling discouraged at not being able to take your cock in her ass. Let her know that it's okay to take time to get that point.

In the meantime, I would encourage you to use your fingers and thumbs in her ass whenever you can. And don't be afraid to try some toys, too. Here's a few suggestions for anal stimulation during vaginal intercourse that really worked (and still do!) for me:

1) I'm on top with his cock deep in my pussy. I lean forward on his chest and he inserts one or two fingers in my ass. His fingers do most of the work, and I just grind my clit on his pubic bone. Very intimate position. Use of a small vibrator instead of fingers is a good variation on this.

2) In the middle of an extended really hot fuck, I'm on my back with my feet on my husband's shoulders, and he's kneeling with his cock just barely in my pussy. He then fingerfucks my ass with two fingers while very slowly pushing his cock deeper into my pussy. A lot of times I come as he reaches maximum penetration. A nice variation on this: he inserts a G-spot vibrator in my ass instead of fingers. The wider 'head' of this type of vibe keeps it firmly in my ass, hands-free, so he can use his fingers elsewhere. My favorite vibe for this has a really wide base, so I can get the sensation of real fullness in both holes at once.

3) Buttplugs can be fantastic. There's a 'beginner's kit' they sell here at tootimid that has 3 different silicone butt plugs. The smallest one is really too small for me, but your wife will probably want to start with that one. Inserting the buttplug during cunnilingus is a nice way to start, and you can try graduating to the medium or even the large buttplug in one session. Depending on how she likes it, she can come while you lick her, or she can tell you when she's on the brink of coming, then go ahead and have vaginal intercourse in whatever position you like. Because the narrow part of the plug nestles comfortably in the anal canal, both the medium and large plugs will stay in her ass during vaginal intercourse in almost any position.

4) One of the best variants on #3: after inserting the plug, turn her over and fuck doggy style. Try to thrust really deep, not pulling out much at all on the backstroke. Your pubic bone will ride on the wide base of the buttplug, which will move the plug in her ass very nicely. This technique produces explosive multiples for me.

4) One of my absolute favorites involves two vibrators and my husband's cock. It's basically #2 (above), but we use a vibe on my clit as well. I invariably go into continuous orgasm mode doing this, and when my husband finally comes I'm just jelly. BTW, if she's a screamer and you don't want to traumatize the children, you may want to put a gag in her mouth before you turn the vibrators on!

Hope this helps. Good luck with your anal adventures, and keep us posted!

[bstein]

Congratulations on "tricking" your wife into enjoying anal stimulation. It's encouraging that your wife was so enthusiastic that she wanted to try anal intercourse right away, but as you've found out it's really difficult to do. It takes time for a woman to become comfortable with a really large object in her anus, whether toy or penis.

If it helps, let me say that I was like your wife at first, i.e., not at all interested in having anything in my ass. In my case, my husband used his fingers/thumb in my ass (depending on position, as you have discovered) during oral sex and during vaginal sex. In essence, this helped me learn to incorporate the sensations of anal stimulation into my existing sexual responsiveness. The first time I really enjoyed anal stimulation was a surprise to both of us... he was licking my pussy, his fingers were wet and doing wonderful things to me, then suddenly his finger brushed my anus and next thing I knew I was coming my brains out with his finger up my ass! From that night forward, cunnilingus always involved a finger in my ass. After a few weeks of that, we found that two fingers felt even better, and a few weeks later, we found that if my clit was getting a good tonguing, with the help of some lube he could push my vibrator (plain-jane smooth vibe, which was all we had at that time) up my ass. That was the night we discovered having a pillow handy to stuff into my mouth to stifle my screams was a good idea. LOL! It was only after I'd had several multiorgasmic sessions with the vibrator in my ass that I began to believe I could accomodate my husband's cock. I wanted him to fuck my ass, but his cock is really ver large, which was intimidating. I have to give him credit: through all of this he never suggested or asked to fuck me in the ass... he'd just make me come with clitoral and anal stimulation, and then he would fuck my pussy to reach his orgasm. We also used fingers and toys in my ass while we fucked, of course. More on that in a minute.

Finally one night I made my decision to go through with it. My husband was totally willing to try it, of course. We started with lots of kissing and foreplay, then moved on to pussy-licking with fingers in my pussy and in my ass, then when I couldn't hold back any longer I told him to put his cock in my ass. He stroked my clit with wet fingers as he penetrated my ass and there was no pain, even though he felt HUGE in me. Between his fingers and his cock I came explosively in seconds, and he followed after only a few hard thrusts. We have enjoyed regular anal intercourse ever since.. we're coming up our ten-year anal anniversary soon!

The point of all this is to illustrate that some girls need a lot more time to get ready for all-out buttfucking. It was probably a year from my first anal-assisted orgasm to our first anal intercourse. In that year we probably had sex 150 times or so, and nearly every time my anus was being stimulated in one fashion or another, and when the time came to lose my anal virginity, it was an ecstatic experience.

If you think it will help, you might share my experience with your wife. She's probably feeling discouraged at not being able to take your cock in her ass. Let her know that it's okay to take time to get that point.

In the meantime, I would encourage you to use your fingers and thumbs in her ass whenever you can. And don't be afraid to try some toys, too. Here's a few suggestions for anal stimulation during vaginal intercourse that really worked (and still do!) for me:

1) I'm on top with his cock deep in my pussy. I lean forward on his chest and he inserts one or two fingers in my ass. His fingers do most of the work, and I just grind my clit on his pubic bone. Very intimate position. Use of a small vibrator instead of fingers is a good variation on this.

2) In the middle of an extended really hot fuck, I'm on my back with my feet on my husband's shoulders, and he's kneeling with his cock just barely in my pussy. He then fingerfucks my ass with two fingers while very slowly pushing his cock deeper into my pussy. A lot of times I come as he reaches maximum penetration. A nice variation on this: he inserts a G-spot vibrator in my ass instead of fingers. The wider 'head' of this type of vibe keeps it firmly in my ass, hands-free, so he can use his fingers elsewhere. My favorite vibe for this has a really wide base, so I can get the sensation of real fullness in both holes at once.

3) Buttplugs can be fantastic. There's a 'beginner's kit' they sell here at tootimid that has 3 different silicone butt plugs. The smallest one is really too small for me, but your wife will probably want to start with that one. Inserting the buttplug during cunnilingus is a nice way to start, and you can try graduating to the medium or even the large buttplug in one session. Depending on how she likes it, she can come while you lick her, or she can tell you when she's on the brink of coming, then go ahead and have vaginal intercourse in whatever position you like. Because the narrow part of the plug nestles comfortably in the anal canal, both the medium and large plugs will stay in her ass during vaginal intercourse in almost any position.

4) One of the best variants on #3: after inserting the plug, turn her over and fuck doggy style. Try to thrust really deep, not pulling out much at all on the backstroke. Your pubic bone will ride on the wide base of the buttplug, which will move the plug in her ass very nicely. This technique produces explosive multiples for me.

4) One of my absolute favorites involves two vibrators and my husband's cock. It's basically #2 (above), but we use a vibe on my clit as well. I invariably go into continuous orgasm mode doing this, and when my husband finally comes I'm just jelly. BTW, if she's a screamer and you don't want to traumatize the children, you may want to put a gag in her mouth before you turn the vibrators on!

Hope this helps. Good luck with your anal adventures, and keep us posted!

Oh thanks so much for the tips these should work great. Yea my wife and I are commin upon (no pun intended) our 11th anniversary. (Ok pun was inteded.) I will definatly be getting her one or more of these toys for our anniverssary.

[nosleepnmesa]

Hello bstein, I saw this post and decided to put in my 2cents worth too. First off great job at being a little tricky. There are great beginning vibrating anal beads to to help, I will post a link to them to when I am finished. The key of course is lots and lots of lube I know you have heard this in the other post. Slowly working up is the best thing. You did great my the thumb to start with. The first time I had anal sex my partner was very tricky to, just as I was beginning to O he stuck his finger in. I loved it so much that we talked and he continued to add a finger tell I was getting use to something bigger being in there. Communication is a wonderful tool to, talk with her, make sure she lets you know that she is doing okay, or ask her. I love anal sex now and half the time don't think I can get enough. Here is a link to some beginning vibrating beads that are not intimidating at all and are very easy to use.

http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...amp;ProdID=4719

http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...amp;ProdID=5171

http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...amp;ProdID=3496

http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...amp;ProdID=5081

Here is a link to a few beginning toys that you and your wife can read about and discuss. Great job and keep us posted on how things are going.

[elise]

bstein: I thought I might add a few more details for the benefit of you and your wife. Actually, I'm doing this because Howard PM'd me and encouraged me to do so, and my husband thought it would be a good idea, too. So give them all the credit!

Vibrators are a great way to train her anus to relax and stretch. The vibrations just feel so damn good that it relaxes the sphincter muscles. A good beginner vibe should be straight and smooth, like this:

http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...amp;ProdID=4251

My first anal vibe was a lot like this one. The little knob on the tip feels GREAT going in and coming out. And it's nice and slim in the shaft, which is comfortable for a newbie. Also, you mentioned that she likes your fingers really deep in her ass, so the length of this vibe should please her. Use it while you're licking her pussy, first on the outside, then slowly inside. Once you've got it in really deep, work it around to find where she's most sensitive. My husband tells me I go wild when he angles it toward the back and rocks it slightly in and out.

After she is used to that one, you might go with something a bit bigger:

http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...amp;ProdID=4795

This type of vibe stretches the anus more, makes it feel fuller, but also reaches in deep where I'm most sensitive.

Here is my absolutely favorite anal vibe:

http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...amp;ProdID=5008

I know it looks quite plain, but it's got all the features I like best. It doesn't have the strongest vibrations in my toy chest, but it's strong enough. It has three speeds. We usually start with the slowest speed. The 'head' is bigger than the shaft, and it's a moderately good sized head at that, so insertion can be a bit of a challenge the first few times she tries it. Just remember to use lots of lube and insert it slowly, with lots of mouth action on her pussy at the same time. Once you get past the widest part, it pops right in, which feels really good. You go from feeling reallly stretched to just nicely stretched but really penetrated instantly. My husband tells me he inserts this one into my anus with the head pointing up, i.e., toward my stomach, then once it's inside, he turns it around so the head points toward the back. This turning thing can be really hot, because of the angles on the shaft, and the way the head moves inside me. Once it's pointed toward the back, he pushes it in until the wide base starts to stretch my anus. This feels awesomely good, because I have the sensations of being really filled and deeply penetrated at the same time. I am very sensitive to deep penetration (vaginal as well as anorectal), so if your wife is too, she'll love this vibe. Also, the thinner shaft with wide head and wide base allows this vibe to be used 'hands-free' during vaginal intercourse. If I'm on my back and my husband is on top, I can rock back and press the vibe into the mattress or pillow for more anal stimulation, or rock up for more vaginal/clitoral stimulation. If I'm on top, I'll face toward his feet and lean forward to get the best angle for cock and vibe, and then just rock on both.

Once your wife gets to the point of being able to take a large vibrator in her ass, she's probably going to be able to take your cock without difficulty. Use lots of foreplay, lots of lube. Use your mouth on her pussy and your fingers in her ass, then get out more lube and the vibrators. Work your way up from slim to thick, and if she's like I was in my early anal days, she'll probably be much more relaxed if she has an orgasm or two with the vibrator, then when she's ready, lube your cock and slowly penetrate her ass. If you've done your preparation well, she'll love it.

I'll deal with butt plugs in another post.

Elise

[elise]

Anal plugs are a totally different experience from vibes, in my experience. We use different plugs for different purposes. Plugs are meant to be inserted and then left there, sometimes for extended periods of time, sometimes during other sexual activity.

Until you and your wife have learned what really works for you both, there's a chance you'll buy the wrong types. So I recommend you start with this kit:

http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...amp;ProdID=3195

The plugs are advertised as small, medium, and large, but I'd call them XS, S, and M. The smallest one is really too small, but both the medium and large plugs will stay in her (or your) ass quite easily. I introduced my husband to anal penetration with the small one, and it was all he needed. Men are not used to being penetrated as much as women are, I guess. We still use this plug set quite often. We get into a lying on our sides 69 thing, then he inserts the large plug into my ass and I insert the medium one into his ass. Then we move on to vaginal intercourse. Having the plugs in while we fuck is very hot. The plugs stay in well enough, but sometimes one or the other will slip out. We just suspend activities for a bit, reinsert, and get back at it. The large vibrator in this kit isn't my favorite anal vibe, but I've used it in my husband's ass when I'm giving him a blowjob, and it definitely pops his cork in a hurry. For a woman with short fingers or long nails, this kind of plug is a great way to give your man anal and prostate stimulation during oral sex.

I like to use anal stimulation when I masturbate, and for this I like a more textured plug. My favorite in this category looks something like this one:

http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...amp;ProdID=4802

I like to use alternating slow and fast thrusting with this one while I use vibe on my clit. The ripples are incredibly stimulating... one in-and-out thrust cycle can turn my knees to jelly. My husband sometimes uses this one in me, too. It's good with cunnilingus, and it's great when I'm on top riding his cock and he surprises me with it from behind. Mmmm!

For more extended sex play, like a dirty weekend at a hotel away from the kids, or a long car trip, my husband likes to have me wear something inside me while we're out and about. It can be a challenge to not have an orgasm public (or to disguise it so people won't know I'm coming right then and there!) but we've learned to pick and choose what we use and where. Ben-wa balls in my pussy are probably my favorite, but when we're both in an anal mood, my husband will insert a really large buttplug and I'll wear it for up to several hours. Usually by the time I'm ready to take the plug out, it's only because I need to replace it with his cock! Here's a few examples of good longer-wear plugs:

http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...amp;ProdID=3116

http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...amp;ProdID=4624

http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...amp;ProdID=4379

These plugs all have the features I like in a long-wear plug: 1) the part that stays inside is very thick, so I get the sensation of real fullness; 2) the narrow part above the base isn't too narrow, so my anus feels stretched (some plugs are too narrow, and I can hardly feel them in my anus, which is NO fun!), and 3) the wide base ensures the plug won't accidentally slip up inside me and get lost!!! This type of plug feels great because it stimulates your PC muscles constantly, so you are constantly doing Kegels. Two or three hours of Kegels will make any woman incredibly horny. BTW, these plugs CAN fall out, especially if the wearer has an orgasm. I don't worry about this in the car, but if I'm anywhere else, I wear a leather thong panty that's quite tight and really holds the plug in there. You could wear tight jeans and accomplish the same thing, but I prefer to wear skirts when I've got a plug in. That way when I'm ready for my husband to penetrate me he has access to my pussy and/or ass in seconds. When my ass has been primed with one of these plugs for as long as I can stand it, anal intercourse is unbelievably good for me.

Again. keep us posted on what works for you and your wife.

[Janaen]

OOOO i just want to thank Elise for the WONDERFUL ideas and suggestions! i have read mikayla's article also...i have been toying with the idea of anal for a few years and finally landed a guy that is up for it. he tried to just jump right in but after a few seconds of me freaking out, i was able to explain to him the "steps" and we are doing the small toy/stretch thing... reading all this just makes me happy and means i have something to look forward to!