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Well, as the title clearly implies, I am a virgin and I'm also 21.

So getting to the problem: I've been in a relationship with my SO for over a year; we've talked about sex extensively. He is not a virgin, which isn't the issue here. I know that I am ready to have sex with him, I want him to be my first, and he wants to be my first. I can honestly say that we would have had sex already, but there is one reason we haven't - he is extremely endowed, and that makes me extremely nervous. I'm talking huge, when erect 12" and 3" wide. He completely understands my hesitance, since he has had a few problems with other girls before.

Is there any specific way I should prepare myself for this? Any kind of advice would be great. Thanks

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If there is no exaggeration going on here, then there is absolutely nothing you can do to prepare yourself for that... oh MY! All kidding aside, if you don't mind breaking your hymen with something other than him, I would suggest the two of you start off with a toy, either a vibrator or a dildo. There are some great toys on here with cyberskin, and silicone toys are great, too! (I know I would be remiss if I failed to add "NEVER use a silicone lube with a silicone toy") Honestly, this would be the route I would advise, since it would give you an idea of what it feels like to even have something inside of you. Playing with toys is an extremely arousing way to lead into sex. I have only been the first for two women and I am not ashamed to say that I am significantly smaller than your man! I know no matter what the size, the first time is at best uncomfortable at first. It will help immensely that you are with someone you trust since you will be more relaxed. If you are dead set against anything other than him breaking your hymen (personally, I think it's a technicality since you would be with him) then all I can say is RELAX, RELAX RELAX!!! Go very, VERY SLOW, and use plenty (do I need to stress the word "plenty"?) of lube. Remember, women are very stretchy down there! If my wife can pass a 9 lb 13 oz munchkin outta there, you CAN take it! You should also practice your kagel excercises (articles on here about those). These will help you have better control over your vaginal muscles and you can relax them easier. There are others on here who know more than I, if there is anything else I forgot to mention please point it out! Hope this helps and let us know how it goes! :P

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OK, well, first, since you've talked about sex extensively, I am assuming he's been tested and cleared of STDs (very important now-a-days). I'm also assuming you have a birth control method in place, or one you will be using....like the Pill, condoms, something.

As far as the first time, and subsequent times following, you will need to relax, cuz honey, he IS very well endowed!! :blink: Relaxation, remembering to breathe, and lotsa lube!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lube isn't for those with medical problems, or cuz you're not excited, it's to help ease insertion. I would say, even if your dripping wet excited, use lube.

Remember, that area on a woman is meant to stretch, to accomodate a baby's head to pass thru it!! So, you are physically able to do it. So long as he's patient, and gentle, it be a great experience.

Good luck to you!

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  • 5 months later...
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just like to add that some positions can make the vagina tighter or looser, ie. if the woman is squatting the muscles down there are tighter than if she was on her back. Check the list of 20 positions on the site, they explain which ones are best for these purposes

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