Approaching Hubby About Toys

[torrentwaters]

I want to bring toy play into the bedroom, but when I approached my hubby about it he was kinda put off. Actually he was like why, like he didn't think he was enough. But it's not that I just want to try some different things. How do I coax him into it?

[torrentwaters]

As of right now we don't have any toys. What would you suggest as a frist time purchase for a couple new to toys?

[Tyger]

Howard can always make mr laugh with his candidness!! "Guys are knuckleheads!"

Anyway, welcome! Welcome!!

My hubby knew from early on in our relationship that I loved adult toys. He's of the "Knucklehead" persuation though, & had a hard time understanding that the toys are an enhancing thing in the bedroom, and not a replacement for him. Especially after I got a vibrator that lit up, and didn't look like a realistic penis. But my husband, after almost 5 yrs of marriage, is getting better at understanding that. I even got him his own Pleasure Pal (fake pussy), that looks pretty real, as far as that goes.

I think that's a biggie right there. Men are visual creatures. They're also territorial. They don't want another dick/dick-like thing going into their pussy. Maybe start off with a toy that doesn't look like a real penis, like a clit stimulator, or a basic vibrator (g-spot vibrators also can look non-phallic if you search for them), to get him use to the idea of trying something out. My hubby loves seeing my dildos and vibrators going in and out of me. He loves the lights on some too. And, since he's a mechanic, he loves things that have any sort of motor!! Hopefully, he'll never try to pop the top of my favorite ones to see how they work!

Make a show of playing. Like I said, men are visual. Why do you think lingerie is so popular? It sure isn't cuz it's comfortable!! Maybe start out the visual shows with just touching yourself with fingers, exciting yourself for his pleasure as well as yours.

Go with Howard's suggestions, going to an adult toy shop, so you can see and sometimes feel what there is out there. Specer's Gifts also has some Doc Johnson products, games, and lotions too. I like getting my toys from here, not only cuz I do reviews, but for the guarantee. No adult store is going to offer you that. Once you purchase something there, that's it. You have a problem? Tough. Here, even if the price goes over what you can get at an adult store with S&H, within a year of purchase, if anything goes wrong, you can exchange it!! How cool is that? Definitely cheaper to exchange it for a new one, than having to buy a whole new item again (favorites happen, and when they die, it's a sad, sad day for all of us).

As Howard said, here you have people that have tried the product (in some cases~we're working on trying out every single item!!), reviewed it, and have given an educational description of how the item was used, what it did for them, and what level of sexual toy stage that particular item would be for. I would also recommend looking here on the forum for reviews. The reviews on each product are good, but we are limited to 2000 characters, so have to save a truly detailed review for here.

Best of luck to you!!

[torrentwaters]

Thanks for the info. I'm still having trouble with the hubby though. His reply when I broach the subject was, "if you get another penis(he used another word) then I get a girlfriend." When I tried to explain it was for both of us he was like, "how?" He has a limited imagination, unless it’s his idea. If you get my drift.

On my other question, I was looking at the dual bullets. What do you think of them?

[Tyger]

Well, Howard was right. Men really are knuckleheads. No offense, but your husband's response was childish and selfish at best. I mean, how can he think something that takes batteries can replace HIM? Or that it would justify screwing someone else?

I would carefully choose when and where you broach the subject of adult toys again. I'm assuming that he's about your age, and at that age, men are still pretty immature. Judging by his response only, he may think that if you "screw something else" that it will give him the go-ahead to "screw someone else". Eye for an eye type thing.

Maybe, one day, suggest that you want to go to an adult shop to look at sexy lingerie. They usually have a lot of things that leave very very very little to the imagination!! Fantasies can run wild with them! People shopping in an adult store have a tendancy to wind up going to the adult toys section even if it is just out of curiosity. MAYBE if he sees how "unhuman" some of them look, and the sexy women on the front of the boxes CLEARLY enjoying themselves, he MAY change his mind.

There are several dual bullets here, and I do have one. And I love it!! There are several on here that have been reviewed too. Go to the top, and in the Product Search Box, type in Dual Bullets. You'll be amazed at what's here!!

Good luck!

[torrentwaters]

Thanks I'll look around then maybe try talking to him again, when I know what I want.

[torrentwaters]

Well to my surprise he brought up the subject last night. Apparently after I talked to him about it he downloaded some porn with toys and decided it wasn't as bad as he thought it was. Go figure. So I showed him some of the things I'm interested in and we're going to buy something after a little more research. Thanks for all your help.

[nosleepnmesa]

Welcome, I must of missed this post. I am very glad to hear that he has opened up to the idea of allowing toys. I have a dual bullet and my husband loves it. In fact he stole my regular bullet, or shall I say borrowed it without asking. I paniced and though one of my children found it, and low and behold he had it buzzy away at work. I love bullets and dual bullets. I am sure your SO will find a bullet just as enjoyable as you.

Take care and Welcome again!

[Tyger]

Leave it to a man watching porn to "come up with the idea all by himself"!! Well, I hope it works out, whichever way he discovers the joys of adult toys too!