Need Help With Husband

[kamakaju4]

I have been reading up on posts, and have yet to find any situation that is like mine...close but not quite.

Anyways, here is my rundown.

I am 30 y/o, married to DH for 10 years now. We have three, going on four kids in June. We have a great relationship together, our kids are great, and have minimal strain to our marriage. The only beef i have is our bedroom activity!!! I am a very sexual person, and if i could, would have sex at least twice daily....on the other hand, my husband is content to have sex maybe twice a month. This is incredibly frustrating for me. We have pretty good sex when we do, but there is hardly any foreplay unless I am giving him a BJ. I dont mind this, but it would be nice to have this reciprocated every once in a while. I have tried to discuss various aspects of our sex life to him, but he acts like its Taboo for me to ask him about masturbation, toys, porn or anything. Its frustrating. In the beginning of our marriage, i chalked it up to me being a prude, (mainly because he would hide all those things from me, and i dont agree with that)but I have realized that he is the one that is, and it inhibited me. I have recently figured this out, and am more open to being sexual, and it only ends in frustration for me, if i try to initiate sex or what not, he is either not feeling well, too tired, too stressed...blah blah blah. I can only understand soo much. I am busy, i am stressed, i am all the things he is a lot of the times, but I will always make time for him. He isnt on any medication, and he does have ADD, so i am wondering if that is a factor? He isnt medicated for it, though. He is also a germ freak. It makes me nuts! We have had some FANTASTIC sex, only if he has had a few drinks. I dont want him drunk every time we have sex though.

Boy, i have a book here. I guess once i get started i cant stop! There are just so many things i would like to add, but Ill stop here, and see if any of you have any thoughts on what i can do????

[Tyger]

I have to agree with Howard. You have to get your husband to open up.

Yes, some people have been brought up with an almost "taboo" sense when it comes to sexual discussions. After 3, going on 4 kids, I would think that he wouldn't be so reserved. BUT, you never know, everyone is different. And it's usually the opposite. He should be willing to open up to you at least. Some women get more hornier as their pregnancies progress. Some lessen. One of my friends wanted sex 2-3 times a day thru her whole pregnancy. I didn't want it at all the last 3 months or so (due to some health issues). Hormones can be a bitch!!

If you do try and talk to him, do so AWAY from the bedroom. Maybe ask him what a fantasy of his is. Does he like to surf the Internet? If so, show him this site. Have him read some of the educational topics. Maybe peruse the toy section together. Keep at it, in a gentle, non-accusing kinda way.

If he is a "germaphobe", he may have a touch of OCD. My mother has it, and I believe I have a touch of it. She LIVES with bottles of hand sanitizers in her purse and in EVERY blessed room in the house!! She drives me nuts!! But each of us fixates on different things. There are meds that can help lessen this. If his ADD has been diagnosed, then he should take some meds. Though, for each of these disorders, it takes some trial & error to see what combos will work for each person.

Good luck, and I hope y'all will be able to find a solution!