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new to the forum, hoping to get a little advice! I've recently started dating a wonderful guy, but have a few issues with the sex.

I count myself as very comfortable sexually, I've had some great experiences with lovers, and am comfortable with my body, feeling good, can reach orgasm easily etc. However, I'm having a problem asking for more! My new man is very sexy, very good at what he does, but there is little to no foreplay, and unless I orgasm with or before him, the sex ends when he comes.

I am of the mindset that it ain't over till you both get your cookies (and I hope this doesn't sound conceited, because I don't expect him to get me off everytime, but it would be nice to have him try).

I've tried leading the way, by giving lots of oral (I love oral sex, and he's only gone down on me once, for about 15 seconds) and trying to extend the time before intercourse, but no luck! Also dropping hints that I want to continue, but nothing.

It sounds like it would be an easy fix, but I feel really uncomfortable saying "hey, why don't you go down on me?" or "hey! I'm not done yet!" I had a similar issue a few years ago with a love, and when I brought it up, he freaked out and got defensive :(

Any adive on what I can say?

He is an excellent guy, and we have a great time with everything else. I am a very sexual person, and I really don't want this to somehow turn into a bigger problem later down the road. Also, I feel if I don't fix this now, it will become a permanent feature in our fledgling relationship.

Please help me! :unsure:

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Welcome to the Forum!!! Well we all know that communication is really the golden key when it comes to relationships and sex. Have you tried to take this talk out of the bedroom setting? Watching TV and bringing the issues up? For exsample, saying hun you know you are a wonderful person and I want to be able to please you in all types of ways, and I know you want to me to.. Start off my asking him what he likes the best in bed and what really gets him hot, then talk about what you like. I think communication out of the bedroom when it is of sexual nature and wanting your partner to do more is better then trying to discuss it while in the mist of playing. Make this conversation a not so serious one but also get the point across. Have you ever asked him outside the bedroom if he likes to go down on you? or what he enjoys doing to you? I will say though if you are giving him oral then turn about is fair play, if he wants to recieve then he also needs to give.

I honest would try this conversation outside the bedroom. Start it off with something simple and playful, hey honey is there anything you really enjoy more then something else in bed? Starting this type of conversation offf with asking him something I think will help him to relax and also let him know that you really want to please him. Then turn the topic to you and what you really enjoy and need.

Hope this helps. Please keep us posted. Also there are some great articles that may also help you both, in the education department here is a link to some.http://www.tootimid.com/sex_education/sex_marriage/07/5_mistakes_men_make_in_bed.htm


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Kat is right, communication is the key. You are in a new relationship, and if you let it go on like this, you are doomed to be unhappy and uncontent. This man has a MOD (method of delivery) when it comes to sex. I do not think that oral is in his repertoire and that he likes sex and wants to get right to it. He HAS to understand that women (not just you) love foreplay, and if he likes his cock sucked, he has to reciprocate with oral for you!

You need to talk to him about what you need and expect. You say he is hot and sexy - tell him how hot he makes you when he eats you out. See what he says. Tell him you love to cum a few times with him - and then take control of your sexuality. Finger yourself during sex to get yourself off. Suck his cock in foreplay and then turn yourself around to sit on his face. What is he going to do when you are servicing him and try that?

Get these things ironed out now, this guy has to know that you are a sensual, sexual woman and enjoy certain things in bed that he should also enjoy. Ask him if there is anything YOU can do to make his sexual experience better! Once you start the communication, the action will follow. IF he is unwilling to go down on you, find out why? Does it excite him too much? Is he ignorant and thinks he doesn't have to? Find out the reasons and address them!

Good luck!


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