Just Curious

[revengenever]

Ok so I have two problems...

I started having sex in February and have maybe done it all together about seven times with my boyfriend.

My problem is that he still hurts in certain positions and it gets to the point that its unbearable. Sometimes I'll make him stop and sometimes I suffer through it thinking that it'll get better. He's not huge, maybe about 7 inches but I don't know- shouldn't it have stop hurting by now?

My other problem is that when it doesn't hurt like when he's going slow and not that far in... I don't feel anything at all. It's like its either pain or nothing. Now I'm no prude and I have orgasmed before by myself and others but its only been by direct attention to my clit never vaginal. I tried the other day to masturbate just by going inside me and I couldn't bring anything about it. Some of my friends say that they can't orgasm during sex that they get that all done during foreplay and that the sex is mostly for their guy but is it possible to feel nothing? I atleast thought that it would be pleasurable. I don't know. Please someone help me out!

[Mikayla1]

WELCOME!!

Ok, you ask good questions, and do NOT panic, things are FINE!

FIrst, sex is not always instantly enjoyable. Like in movies where the "virgin" has explosive orgasms, this is just not real life. It will take your body a while to adjust to the new penetration. Make sure you are using LOTS of lubrication - even if you are well lubed. DO you have foreplay first? Getting aroused through a mix of oral and clitoral stimulation can greatly help with the sensations during sex. If after trying lubrication and doing this a few more times it is still UNBEARABLE, go to your OB - tell him or her and see what he or she says.

Second, between 80-85% of ALL women NEED clitoral stimulation do orgasm! What does this mean for you? You probably will not orgasm through penetration alone. Why are you not fingering yourself during sex? The common misconception (again, through lack of information and portrayal in movies (is that a cock in a pussy equals instant orgasm!) Simply NOT true! Women need clitoral stim to orgasm - and once you get comfortable with sex you can try for that G-Spot orgasm (internal) and that takes patience and practice and many women never have it!

So, the lesson here is - it might be uncomfortable for a while, use lots of lube, if the situation doesn't correct itself - go see the doctor! Also, if you want to orgasm during sex, use clitoral stim! Your guy should not only want you to cum by doing so, but it should be a turn on for him to see you fingering yourself. Do not forget the foreplay! Get yourselves all worked up and well lubricated.

Good luck, and remember SEX IS FUN!!!

[AllisonWonderland]

Both Howard and Mikayla have good points here. Practice makes perfect, so play play play with your bf and get comfortable with your sexuality. You've only just started to have sex, and you should expect a lifetime of learning ahead of you.

One thing I can add about the pain is that a lot of foreplay and being fully stimulated before actually beginning intercourse can really help you. When you are sexually stimulated, your vagina will stretch and dilate on its own to accomodate a penis. Not having enough foreplay can be one reason it still causes you pain during sex. At least show your bf our posts so you can get more oral time!

Secondly, experiencing too much stress or not being 100% comfortable with the sexual contact mentally can cause you to "close up". After all, the vagina is surrounded by muscles, and how easily do we get back and neck pains from stress alone? Women's sexuality is complex, and feeling external pressures about sex and other things can easily affect our bodies.

For another thing, your hymen may still be partially intact. Although it's probably been broken through having sex and just by aging, going on what I've read there can still be parts of it intact. Time and further sexual contact will make sure it actually is broken and fully eroded, and a doctor's visit will tell you more about that. All in all, you should take some time to talk about this with your OBGYN and her expert inspection will help give you some answers.

[jinx23]

Along with all the other advice you've been given, another thing to keep in mind is the length of time between intercourse. Something similiar happened to me when I started having sex for the first time. Sex the first time can hurt, especially if you're petite or your partners well endowed or even if you're just nervous. If there is some time between periods of sex your vagina, which was stretched during the initial sex and where the hymen was probably brokem, can heal and then you might feel pain the next time you have sex.

Don't worry! Once you get more accustomed to sex you're body will adjust. Also depending on the makeup of your body your boyfriends penis might be hitting the end of your cervex or he might just be a little too forceful. Some women like when this happens and some don't. It's a personal preference but if it is hurting you don't be afraid to stop and change the pace. Maybe back up and try some more foreplay before continuing or perhaps you can both use your hands to get each other off. Most of all have fun! Don't worry that sex will always be uncomfortable! It won't! However if you do continue to be in pain consult your OBGYN.

Hope this helps! Cheers

Jinx23

[froggystyle1977]

Definetely agree with everyone above, it takes time for your body to adjust to sex, practice can change it all around good luck!!