Any Help Would Be Great!

[Guest Ginger in Oregon]

I have been married for 14 yrs. as of this last Nov.'04. When my husband and I were first married we were in excellent shape. But I was unexperienced with "good" sex. My first marrage was horrible and I really looked forward to succeeding at my 2nd one. Though this marrage has had it's up and downs, it isn't because of unfaithfulness. 3 children later and a demanding business, our sex life has resorted to "quickies". My current husband is the one who showed me what an orgasim was. After our first son was born in'91 I had the Norplant put in my arm. My health took a turn for the worst. Gain 75 lbs and ended up with a major thyriod problem. As soon as "I" removed the Norplant(because of living in a small town none of the doctors knew how to take out the norplant) My body started to get better. 3 months latter I was pregnant with my "twins" yep, twins! Healthy full term pregnancy. (They are 10 now) Now that I am 39 going on 40 in June I have noticed my sexual desires are changing. I have realized my inexperiences with sex have limited my mind so to speak. I am a very inquizitive person but my husband is not. (but he did introduce me to Anal sex) I do like it when it is easy, not forced and lubed up. But it has only been 2 or three times. I have yet to orgasim from it. I have started a weight loss program at a local gym and long to be thin again. But I don't know what to wear that is sexy or what to do to stimulate an orgasmic response that is out of this world. Any suggestions I would so much apprieciate it. By the way... I just found out today about your web site and fell in love with it! Maybe the title "Too Timid" was the opener! Because that is me about sex, sad to say. Thanks for being young and free and willing to share advice with people. So many of us who are in a "sexual slump" (maybe due to our lifes circumstances) admire your freeness and willingness to help and share your views on "our" very intimate private lives. Keep up the good work!

[Jen]

Ginger--

I have to say, being able to express what is on our minds is sometimes the best remedy--even if it is to someone we don't even know.

It sounds like you've been through a whole lot of ups and a whole lot of downs, but it also sounds like you're stilling trying. Self confidence is the underlying reason we share our sexuality. I know when I am feeling frumpy or ick there is no way that my sexuality is "on". But it's not how I look or what I think people see--it's the attitude that I radiate. I get picked on for my "famous sexy people" list ALL the time. Steven Tyler, Prince, Jon Bon Jovi, Gwen Stefani, Joan Jett....the list goes on.... The reason I get picked on is that many of those people are not hot, or attractive, but they ARE sexy! The ooze sexiness! And all because of their attitude.

So good on ya for doing what your doing! Work on the "inside" and before you know it your sexiness is going to bust on through to the outside!

Good luck.

Jen