Help!

[babeinwoods]

Don't be hard on yourself over this. The lesson you taught yourself will protect you very well in the future. Instead, spend some time making lists of all your best attributes. Dwell on them, and smile at that face in the mirror you see every morning. She's terrific, and someone is going to come along when she isn't looking, and surprise the heck out of her, by first noticing all those great qualities of character she has.

One thing you might do is log onto E-Harmony.com, or one of the other match maker sights. Fill out the questionaire, but you don't have to send it in. In fact, if you can do so, print out the questionaire, and fill it out in ink at your leasure. The questions will help you see what is important in your life, and all the good you offer. I found its a good way to work on repairing damage done to an ego from a bad relationship. By the time you finish the questionaire, you are saying, " Hey, You aren't so bad after all!" Now, That is the way to start any day!

Best wishes.

Howard

Thanks for the great advice Hoawrd. I did find one of those questionnaires and filled it out. It was very insight full and more informative than I would have expected. I have never had any doubts about my looks but about the me on the inside. After answering these questions I think you are right, I am not so bad after all.

My friend Vix, has been trying to hook me up with this man for awhile now. We have met a couple of times and he is very charming, articulate and handsome. The one reason I hesitated to go out with him is because he is blind. Now before anyone freaks out on me, I have nothing against blind people. It's just that I always thought my best attributes were my physical ones and I couldn't see how he could be attracted to me if he couldn't see me.

So after taking your advice Howard I called Vix lat night (sorry about bugging you at the Renaissance Fair), and now I have a date on Friday night with him. Funny thing is the first thing I did this morning is get the paper and read every news story so I can be up on current affairs and be able to hold a conversation with him. My next project is write a list of things about myself I want to share and a list of things about him I would like to know.

Thanks again for all the wisdom,

Babe

[babeinwoods]

Babe: You are welcome. Keep us up to date on how this works out. At least you have a plan, and are feeling better about yourself. This may not work out for you, because of other issues he has, or because he is looking for someone else. But that doesn't matter. There are other men you will meet, and it already sounds like you new confidence is making you a happier person, and more confident person. Men are attracted to confident women. Trust me on that. Even women are challenged and intimidated when they meet a confident woman. The " Vibes "( If I can be a little bit '60s') just radiate from you. There is rarely anyone more fun to be around than a woman who speaks with conviction, and who has a ready smile.

You sound like you are heading in the right direction.

Howard

I am learning as I go so to speak Howard. I have always admired my friend for he self confidence and in the last year I have really seen that grow in her. Not to say she is cocky but she is so confident of herself and what she has to say now. She is one of the bravest people I know. Her life has changed so dramaically in the last 6 months and whenever talk to her about it she always says life is about choices and I own my choices.

I have decdied to try and emulate her attitude. I've noticed when we go to lunch or out to a party people always look at us. I know that most of them talk to me because of the way I look but time and time again they come back and talk to her because she can hold an intelligent conversation with them and she is totally at ease with herself. Since she has moved I've ran into 2 of her old boyfriends. Both of them complained about losing her. They didn't realise what they were losing until it was gone.

It has helped me to realise I want the same thing. No not exs pining for me but people missing me for my wit and conversation and for me the person inside.

I think I am on the right road. Vix says I just have to let the inner me shine through. She has always said I am as beautiful on the inside as I am on the outside but I was too beat down to show it. Now I am choosing to let the real me shine thru.

By the way I like the sixties. Groovy just happens to be one of my favorite words.

Babe