My First Rabbit

[jaspir]

My First Rabbit

Reviewed by Jaspir

There are a few really cool things about this toy. First of all, it’s small – only four insertable inches long – so it’s less intimidating for people who are new to toys, or nice for someone who prefers a smaller vibrator. It’s purple. It has a little rabbit sticking out from the base of the shaft, designed so its fluttering ears will thwack softly against your clit. This is also a desirable feature for the stimulation, and/or for those turned on by rabbits. It has a pink light in the base of the vibrator, which flashes in sync with the function. The package promises that the toy is waterproof and has ten different vibrating modes.

So what’s not to love?

My first clue that this was not the toy of my dreams was a typo on the front of the package, “Designed by a woman…for a women” it proclaims. As a word person, such an obvious blunder is a turn off. Plus, I had to wonder if a company pays so little attention to their cover copy, how thoroughly have they planned out this toy?

This rabbit has a battery pack (it takes 2 AA batteries) joined to the vibrator by a twenty-inch cord. The button that turns it on and off, and the button that changes the function, are both on this battery pack. Though it has ten numbered functions listed on the back of the battery pack, with names like “tease,” (number 2) “zoom” (number 4) and “racer,” (number 9) you can’t tell which is which unless you count how many times you push the button marked “auto.” Each function key is set for a seven-second sequence of pulses. For example, the first setting, “foreplay,” pulses strongly and slowly six times, then faster six times, then really fast 15 times, then starts over. This all happens in about seven seconds. So it’s hard to get into the groove, since it builds up super fast, then you’re back to the beginning. Now, rabbits are known for their prolific breeding, so maybe it only takes them seven seconds to get off. But for me, it was frustrating in the way sex sometimes is, when your partner keeps varying the speed and dropping you back when you’re almost there, and you’re trying to keep your mouth shut because he only wants to hear so much advice and constructive criticism. This kind of spontaneity and imperfection is to be expected in sex, but during masturbation I like to have some control.

The thing that really threw me about My First Rabbit was when I used the “waterproof” toy in the bathtub. Everything was going along okay, besides it being noisy enough that I was glad I didn’t have roommates, then I looked down at the vibrator sliding in and out of my pussy and saw that it was filling with water! Now, granted, the battery pack was in my dry hand, but seeing the bathwater seeping in through the hole around the cord was not reassuring, and ruined whatever mood I was managing through the manic seven-second cycles.

So this toy isn’t really for me. But I would recommend it for someone who likes a smaller toy for use on dry land, and who can get off in seven seconds.

[Tyger]

You sound like you're like me. I am "anal" when it comes to spelling, especially on products being sold, even on sex toys!

And, I'm also with you. I'm married to a cowboy, and darlin' 8 seconds isn't a ride for me either (8 seconds is the rodeo rule for staying on a bucking bull), so 7 would DEFINITELY irritate me too.

[Valntyn]

I'm right there with ya (well, not literally, of course!!). I'm a word gal who can't stand typos, especially on product packaging. It's odd the things that get us OUT of the mood, eh?

I also get irritated with not having control over toy vibes -- you explained that brilliantly!!

I'm sorry this toy wasn't for you, but thanks for the review -- it was a really good one!