What Defines Being A 'sexual' Person?

[MystryKitten]

What defines a sexual person? I always thought I was a sexual person because I love to watch people kissing, and have dozens of photos/ads of them. I even get really turned on by it, espically two guys kissing. I enjoy masturbating, and I think the human body is a beautiful thing, male or female. I like to dress up sexy and I think going to adult stores are fun and exciting.

BUT I recently think that I might not be so 'sexual' because I cant get off by someone just licking my tits or kissing my neck. I don't really like day time sex because I feel it has no privacy. I dont care about being naked in front of my SO, I guess i just feel overexposed. I dont get turned on by giving a blow job, and so on.

Does any of this really matter? Or is it to each their own??

[Mikayla1]

Ironically enough, I just wrote an article that sort of answers this question! Here is a little sneak preview:

SEXUALITY VERSUS SENSUALITY

Many women are under the misconception that sexuality and SENsuality are the same. They are NOT. Sensuality is something that comes from the inside – it is your inner sex goddess. Sexuality is more of an external perception, or how you ‘feel’ about sex in general. Think about what you would classify as sensual: the feeling of silky pajamas, a hot bubble bath, a slow massage. Now, think about things you would classify as sexual: erotic images, sexy lingerie, overt confidence. The difference between these two concepts is minimal – but distinctive. For a woman to bring sexy back to herself, she needs a balance of sensual AND sexual.

To make yourself feel sensual you have to bring the image of soft and pretty INSIDE as well as OUTSIDE. You should be able to internalize the feeling, but to do so you have to take care of the outside. Feeling good about yourself takes a magical concoction of things: health, vigor, beauty and confidence.

When I say ‘health’ I don’t mean ‘stick thin’ I mean, maintenance. Taking a daily walk, going to the gym, swimming – any type of exercise can really boost your inner spirit. Exercise is also a proven aphrodisiac! When we get that adrenaline pumping and know we are doing good for ourselves and we get aroused! Eating healthy – eating good foods that make us feel good. These things improve our mental state as well as our physical state. You do not have to weigh 100 pounds to be ‘healthy’ and you can always be in a state of reinvention and rejuvenation.

‘Vigor’ implies an everlastingness, strength and determination. This means whatever age you are, you are living to the fullest! Enjoying life, family, friends and SEX. Feeling vigorous is important to sensuality because if we feel “less than” we are not going to internally feel sexy and externally we are going to appear uninterested and down. IF you are depressed – you are not vigorous. Try to find happiness in your day. Be grateful for the things you have – and for the people who love you. Look at life as an adventure, not a chore. Every day is a gift, and we should treat ourselves as the gift we are.

‘Beauty’ is not about physical attributes as much as it is what you do with what you’ve got. This means playing up your best assets, taking care of yourself externally and internally. Using make-up, skin moisturizers, well fitting clothes, sexy undies – a combination of internal and external. ALL women are beautiful in their own way. Taking note of what your assets are and playing them up with accents is the best way to feel your personal best. Buy some new clothes, sexy bras and panties, new earrings. Women can make themselves feel beautiful just by accessorizing! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and you have to behold yourself first and foremost and internalize that feeling. This is the softness in sensualness.

Once you have these things taken care of you have to exude confidence. Very few women truly feel 100% confident, but you would never know it! If you are confident on the OUTSIDE, you will feel more confident on the INSIDE. Trust me, it works! I am a woman who exudes outside confidence, even though on the inside I might be feeling less than confident! Confidence is a fluctuating event. IF you have gained weight, lost a job, got dumped – all these things and more can make you feel less confident. These things happen to ALL women – so take it in stride and never loose your confidence. Show the confidence from the outside in by being soft, feminine, sensual, in charge and vigorous. The rest will follow.

Alternatively, feeling SEXUAL is quite different. Many women say, “I just don’t feel sexual.” What does this mean? Basically, they have little interest in sex – it isn’t important to them. This is not the same as libido – a woman can have great libido and NOT feel sexual. Sexuality is a combination of subconscious feelings, conscious choice and making “time” for sex. For many women, children, household responsibilities, work, extra curricular needs all take precedence over sex. Women function in many different roles – mother, wife, caretaker, career woman, housewife – all simultaneously. While men have many of the same responsibilities as women, most men do not do everything a woman does. It is just the make-up of our society. Many women are bred to believe that housework is women’s work, children are raised mostly by MOM, they take care of their parents, and they have to be a wife. THIS IS NOT TO SAY THAT MEN DON’T do all these things – it just seems that women are always in these dual roles and sex falls way, way, WAY down on the list for them.

Many women (not all) find it hard to balance Mommy and Sex Goddess. Some women even take a sex break for their children’s formidable years. Why? If you are ignoring YOUR needs (note I wrote YOUR needs, not that of your partner) then what good are you serving? Your marriage or relationship needs sex in it. You need it, your partner needs it. Healthy marriages and families are built on sex filled relationships. When Mommy and Daddy are sexually fulfilled, life is happy. Conversely, when they are unfulfilled, it is not a happy life.

So, if for whatever reason you are not feeling sexual, you have to reclaim it. Make sex a priority. This means for ALL women. Married, single, dating – all women need a sexual outlet. This means masturbation and sex with partners. It is a proven fact that having more sex (good, fulfilling sex) makes you feel more sexual. So, how do we accomplish this? We take the tools of making ourselves feel sensual – then we have sex and make sure we are enjoying it. Make sure your partner is tending to your needs – and you to his – and ORGASM! Orgasms are WONDERFUL on so many levels – and the more you have, the more you will want!

[MystryKitten]

thank you!!! i think i have a better understanding now.