Classroom Quotes

[pappyld04]

Classroom QuotesTEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.

STUDENT: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS: George!!

TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have 10 years ago.

WILLY: Me!!

SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?

STUDENT: No, I'm Billy Anderson.

TEACHER: Alfred, how can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day?

STUDENT: I get up early.

TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?

STUDENT: Yes, Sir.

TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?

STUDENT: Yes Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours.

TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?

STUDENT: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

HAROLD: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?

TEACHER: Of course not.

HAROLD: Good, because I didn't do my homework.

TEACHER: Why are you late?

WEBSTER: Because of the sign.

TEACHER: What sign?

STUDENT: The one that says, "School Ahead, Slow Children crossing."

TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.

JOHN: I hope you didn't either.

GARY: I don't think I deserve a zero on this test.

TEACHER: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.

MOTHER: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?

JUNIOR: Because of absence.

MOTHER: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?

JUNIOR: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.

SYLVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?

FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?

SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.

FATHER: What's that?

TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.

TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.

SAMMY: You can't fool me, teacher....snakes don't have feet!

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".

ELLEN: I is....

TEACHER: No, Ellen, Always say "I am."

ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet".

TEACHER: Max, use "defeat", "defense", and "detail" in a sentence.

MAX: The rabbit cut across the field, and defeat went over defense before detail.

MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?

JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money.

TEACHER: If you received $10 from 10 people, what would you get?

SASHA: A new bike.

TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?

VINCENT: One dollar.

TEACHER: (sadly) You don't know your arithmetic.

VINCENT: (sadly) You don't know my father.

TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?

CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!!

BOY: Isn't the principal a dummy!

GIRL: Say, do you know who I am?

BOY: No.

GIRL: I'm the principal's daughter.

BOY: And do you know who I am?

GIRL: No.

BOY: Thank Goodness!!