Members Twist Posted March 5, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 5, 2008 I have been single for a VERY long time, and have not slept with someone in several years. I've just started seeing a guy and my body is steadily getting used to the physical act itself as it hurts a bit at the moment (apparently my coochy is built a bit small) so I'm giving that time, I just can't shut my head up.Worrying about my body and worrying that I won't orgasm (I haven't done so yet with this guy) isn't helping with the relaxation and therefore the enjoyment of the sex. I'm also trying to work up courage to give the right coaxing to what I like and want him to open up to do the same, but it's finding the right way to put it.How can I shut my head up and relax, and focus on the important things while I'm sleeping with my partner. All tips, tricks and acts of smacking some sense into me welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jesso Posted March 5, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 5, 2008 From what I've read above, it sounds to me like you need to learn how to ask for what you want and do what feels good for YOU so that you both get to enjoy the benefits! Sex is supposed to be enjoyable - even if you haven't had it for a while! And part of that is learning how to enjoy what your body is telling you to. Better sex comes with understanding your OWN body. It's not always about how you react to your partner, but you being comfortable with what makes YOU feel good. Don't be afraid ask for what you want. I assure you, you'll both reap the benefits. Best of luck - Ginger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Twist Posted March 5, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted March 5, 2008 Thanks GingerI know that part of the problem is not saying what I like, but it's the noise in my head that's stopping me. I don't want to be on a downward slope to vaginismus (or however you spell it), I love being intimate with him but I'm so concerned about the other things that I haven't opened my mouth to speak (yet). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members synirr Posted March 5, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 5, 2008 Try focusing on the person..not the sex, not your partner's body or your body...focus on the heart, mind, emotion connectivity you feel as you become aroused together...keep your eyes open and find your partner's with yours often...the rest will followExcellent advice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Twist Posted March 6, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted March 6, 2008 Indeed it is, thank you very much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Twist Posted March 11, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 Well I did my best to relax, but didn't quite get the whole way there, but there was improvement. The problem is I won't be seeing him for 2-3 weeks now, talk about timing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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