Members Beavis Posted April 2, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. Life is sexually transmitted. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt." Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If electricity comes from e lectrons, does morality come from morons? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ToyQueen Posted April 2, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 Those are good! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Beavis Posted April 2, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 Thanks I got those in an e-mail. I like the fourth one from the top and sixth one from the bottom. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted April 2, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 Things that make you go HMMMMM? Good one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Beavis Posted April 2, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 Things that make you go HMMMMM? Good one!LOL yeah true. I would love to go back in time and talk to the guy(s) who discovered milk and eggs. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted April 2, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 I wonder if that would be time well spent?!!?!?!?!?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Beavis Posted April 2, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 What to go back and talk to them? I don't think it will be time well spent but I bet it would be funny to watch, especaily when they drank the warm milk. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted April 2, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 For laughs I have to agree! I was hoping that wasn't an intelligence gathering mission! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Beavis Posted April 3, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 Oo that would have made the front page. "Man makes mistake drinking from cow." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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