Members pappyld04 Posted April 9, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 9, 2008 WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realizethat he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the roadbefore it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. Whatwe need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not takingon his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems. OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, whichis why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having thechicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part oflife, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just driveacross the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We justwant to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. Thechicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle groundhere. COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see thesatellite image of the chicken crossing the road... ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have notyet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am nowagainst it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about thechicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can seeit in his eyes and the way he walks. PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American. MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. Ihad a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when theprice dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insiderinformation. DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not beentold. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone. JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plaintruth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, thatchicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. Isay we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that theliberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'theother side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plainand as simple as that. GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was goodenough. BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listeningto the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of howit experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish itslife long dream of crossing the road. JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together,in peace. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only crossroads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balanceyour check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. Thisnew platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^<>C%........ reboot. ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road movebeneath the chicken? BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is yourdefinition of chicken? AL GORE : I invented the chicken! COLONEL SANDERS : Did I miss one? DICK CHENEY : Where's my gun? AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need someblack chickens! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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