Members PanickedVanity Posted April 26, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 26, 2008 Well I recently finished my period, and my husband and I were both very... interested in one another during that time, but he doesn't like getting bloody, so we can't really have sex then, and he is similarly unwilling to stimulate me manually, so I suggest he try some of my toys on me since I know he enjoys pleasuring me, and he was adamantly against the idea he didn't really explain why, though I think it's because he feels they're unromantic, or porny in some way. So any idea for how to get him to see them as something pleasurable and romantic? Maybe a toy he'd find aesthetically pleasing as an art object, or a way of presenting the idea? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted April 26, 2008 Report Share Posted April 26, 2008 My husband is the "uber man". He is a guy's guy in other words. His philosophy use to be that if the sex was good, then you don't need sex toys. It took me a very long time (and becoming a reviewer here), to show him that sex toys can be FUN. And that they are enhancements in the bedroom, not replacements. What peaked his interest was a toy I got that was non-phallic looking, cute, vibrated, AND had lights. Why not ask him WHY he doesn't like sex toys? If he says he doesn't know, which sometimes in itself is an honest answer, where other times it's a brush off, then ask him to think about why he is so against it. Then go from there. If he's willing, have him help you pick out a toy together.Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amylynn920 Posted April 26, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 26, 2008 You need to find out specifically why he is so against it, and discuss it. My husband felt replaced, and didn't understand what the toys could do that he couldn't. It took many heart to heart talks with him. Now he loves seeing me get off, or using them on me. He does not like phallic toys, he feels as if he's holding a man's penis which is a huge turn off for him. He liked my glass toy it was not really phallic looking.He loves bullets, both on me and him, Gspot toys also. I'm lucky that he is not turned off by blood, will have sex while I have my period, and he loves to manually stimulate me. Does your husband stimulate you clitorally during sex or do you stimulate yourself? A bullet would give his and your fingers a break and you could use it between the two of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cmwise1 Posted April 26, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 26, 2008 Try something that looks really harmless, like a bullet that is pink and flashes, etc. Maybe that will help him see this in a toy-like fashion and influence his attitude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cmwise1 Posted April 26, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 26, 2008 Well I recently finished my period, and my husband and I were both very... interested in one another during that time, but he doesn't like getting bloody, so we can't really have sex then, and he is similarly unwilling to stimulate me manually,There is a device called Instead that is sold as a alternative to tampons. It fits inside like a small diaphragm and no menstrual blood escapes, so this can be used during sex for those that are squeamish. It really works..but is a bit tricky getting in and out. It might be worth a try if you are really horny and can't want until Aunt Flo has left the house! You can get them at Target. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members PanickedVanity Posted April 26, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted April 26, 2008 You need to find out specifically why he is so against it, and discuss it. My husband felt replaced, and didn't understand what the toys could do that he couldn't. It took many heart to heart talks with him. Now he loves seeing me get off, or using them on me. He does not like phallic toys, he feels as if he's holding a man's penis which is a huge turn off for him. He liked my glass toy it was not really phallic looking.He loves bullets, both on me and him, Gspot toys also. I'm lucky that he is not turned off by blood, will have sex while I have my period, and he loves to manually stimulate me. Does your husband stimulate you clitorally during sex or do you stimulate yourself? A bullet would give his and your fingers a break and you could use it between the two of you.Hehe, he does the stimulating... he actually likes doing the stimulating because it's good exercise for his fingers (he's a bass player, so it's the same as finger picking) maybe that's why he doesn't like toys... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amylynn920 Posted April 27, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 27, 2008 Hehe, he does the stimulating... he actually likes doing the stimulating because it's good exercise for his fingers (he's a bass player, so it's the same as finger picking) maybe that's why he doesn't like toys...Panicked, it's funny you mention the guitarist aspect. My husband plays guitar also, he says it's the same kind of motions as his fingering the guitar strings. Wonder if all guitarists are that good? You just need to ask him, and say what is it that you don't like about them, tell him how much you really want to use them with him and ask him if it's something he'd be willing to do for you. We all do things for our partners that we may not be totally up for, but we do it because it means so much to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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