Members mystofpric Posted May 3, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 Hi guys! Alright I have recently started seeing this guy and he is very into wanting to tie me up and take advantage, I am very turned on by this thought. We tried it last night but he hasn't done it very many times before and he's not very good at being in charge yet. He doesn't even know very many knots (thank god for the rigging training I had in college.). The next problem is that I am naturally a very controling smart-ass person. I really want to enjoy this and just let go, I'm just not sure if I can. He's also not so much into the punishment end of it and I so wish he'd just take out some frustrations on me. How can I help him take control and generally let him have his way with me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angelkisses98 Posted May 3, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 Hi guys! Alright I have recently started seeing this guy and he is very into wanting to tie me up and take advantage, I am very turned on by this thought. We tried it last night but he hasn't done it very many times before and he's not very good at being in charge yet. He doesn't even know very many knots (thank god for the rigging training I had in college.). The next problem is that I am naturally a very controling smart-ass person. I really want to enjoy this and just let go, I'm just not sure if I can. He's also not so much into the punishment end of it and I so wish he'd just take out some frustrations on me. How can I help him take control and generally let him have his way with me?hi suzymy hubby and i are just starting out with bondage as well. sit him down outside of the bedroom, and talk open and honestly. with my hubby it has been one step forward and two back. i am feisty as well. and its hard for me to be patient while he figures out his side of this whole thing. i want to tell him how to "punish" me ect...but i bite my tongue. i found that the more i push this on him, the more he retreats. so i am learning to sit back, and let him go at his own pace, and the more he becomes comfortable with the idea, the better its getting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted May 4, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 hi suzymy hubby and i are just starting out with bondage as well. sit him down outside of the bedroom, and talk open and honestly. with my hubby it has been one step forward and two back. i am feisty as well. and its hard for me to be patient while he figures out his side of this whole thing. i want to tell him how to "punish" me ect...but i bite my tongue. i found that the more i push this on him, the more he retreats. so i am learning to sit back, and let him go at his own pace, and the more he becomes comfortable with the idea, the better its getting.The funny part of all this is that it was his idea! I loaned him my book of knots kinda as a joke but hopefully he studies up. I can't keep tying myself up! Unless that works for him, who knows. I just need to bite my tongue, which is generally a big problem for me, but I really do want to submit. Oh well, I'll keep you posted as we keep going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angelkisses98 Posted May 5, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 5, 2008 try some cuffs or something. we dont have a headboard(we are looking for one), so we have an under the bed system. basically its 2 adjustable straps that go under/over the bed one for the top, and one for the bottom. they have a place to snap in cuffs. DONT FORGET TO BUY THE EXTRA GOODIE PACK. the bed straps DO NOT come with the cuffs, so you have to buy them separate. the pack comes with hand/foot/thigh cuffs, and extenders. i think its called rachael's play pack or something like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nosleepnmesa Posted May 5, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 5, 2008 Start out with light bondage cuffs etc.. If you don't have a headboard there are some great "thigh cuffs" here. Also please read the article that Mikayla has written on this subject you will find it very imformative and helpful. I am sure you have prolly heard this before but comminucation is the key, talk make sure you both come up with a "safe word" in case either of you become uncomfortable, a word that has nothing to do with sex. Here is the link to those thigh cuffs and to the article.http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...amp;ProdID=3329 http://www.tootimid.com/sex_education/sex_...ve_behavior.htmhttp://www.tootimid.com/sex_education/sex_...ndage_guide.htmHope this helps. Good Luck and keep us posted! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted May 5, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted May 5, 2008 Oh see now there's a though, I have cuffs. I don't have a head board either so the underbed system sounds perfect, I guess it's time to go shopping huh? Any suggestions on rope diameter? He really seems to be into the Japanese Bondage and he didn't like my rope (i used to rock climb so I had just some basic 11mm nylon) but he said it was too thick and hard to tie, I disagree but I've had practice. All the site i have seen have some really thin stuff, like an 1/8 to a 1/4 inch. So I have no idea what to get him.I tried to open his mind a little on this by telling him that I wanted him to tie me up and face fuck me, I had an ex who was really into that. I didn't tell him abot my ex though, wrong time for that conversation. hopefully he'll get a few rougher ideas as well. He's very afraid of hurting me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted May 5, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted May 5, 2008 Oh see now there's a though, I have cuffs. I don't have a head board either so the underbed system sounds perfect, I guess it's time to go shopping huh? Any suggestions on rope diameter? He really seems to be into the Japanese Bondage and he didn't like my rope (i used to rock climb so I had just some basic 11mm nylon) but he said it was too thick and hard to tie, I disagree but I've had practice. All the site i have seen have some really thin stuff, like an 1/8 to a 1/4 inch. So I have no idea what to get him.I tried to open his mind a little on this by telling him that I wanted him to tie me up and face fuck me, I had an ex who was really into that. I didn't tell him abot my ex though, wrong time for that conversation. hopefully he'll get a few rougher ideas as well. He's very afraid of hurting me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted May 5, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted May 5, 2008 Katprr, those articles are super helpful, I think we're going to have to sit down together and read them! NOt only that but I seem to have COMPLETELY over looked the fact that I can buy stuff from this website. Some days. I cannot wait to sit down with him and pick stuff out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted May 5, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 5, 2008 Japanese bondage is truly an art form. the idea is to subdue your partner and to pleasure her and you by pleasing her. Here is the thing about smart-asses - I am one too - if you gag them, they can't talk! I would suggest that if your comments are deterring him from getting into it too much. Just remember to have a safe signal if you can not talk.I think the main thing is to remember to tell him that it is OK to use you sexually, for fun, with your consent. Many men can not downshift into this type of thinking, and can not take sexual advantage of their sub. Conversely, many women find this idea of being subserviant arousing, but in the moment get nervous. You both have to take it slow and get into it at a speed that works for both of you.letting go is simple if you don't look at it as you are out of control, but instead KNOW that you ARE IN CONTROL! The thing about subs and DOMS is, it is always the sub who is in control. Sure, you are the one tied down, but YOU are the one getting all the pleasure! The DOM does it to and FOR you, you are the inspiration for his actions, you are the one controlling his lust. If you look at it this way, it may be easier for you to let go. It was much easier for me when I made this realization.Have fun, be safe and please ask if you have any questions on this subject! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted May 5, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted May 5, 2008 letting go is simple if you don't look at it as you are out of control, but instead KNOW that you ARE IN CONTROL! The thing about subs and DOMS is, it is always the sub who is in control. Sure, you are the one tied down, but YOU are the one getting all the pleasure! The DOM does it to and FOR you, you are the inspiration for his actions, you are the one controlling his lust. If you look at it this way, it may be easier for you to let go. It was much easier for me when I made this realization.Have fun, be safe and please ask if you have any questions on this subject!I never thought about it that way! See now that makes more fun for me! I definitely like the gag idea, it was a thought I'd had because I don't think he's much into punishing me when I get mouthy, which happens a lot, and I think it'll turn him on a little more, which I am all about. I'm so glad I found this forum! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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