Members Amylynn920 Posted July 19, 2008 Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 Do you set the stage for great sex and if so what is it you do?I can plan for any event, but not for sex. It becomes so staged that I lose my focus and just start thinking about how planned it really is and it just becomes worse for me. We have a very busy life and household. By the time we are alone, and have had some relaxing downtime, and get to bed to make love it's very late in the night, sometimes 4 AM. And I so tired I can't get into it. All I think about is that I need to be up in a few hours. Neither one of us likes the idea of planned sex. But with our busy lives if we don't plan it for earlier, we feel rushed. So I am curious how do you plan time for sex and still keep it exciting? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted July 19, 2008 Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 See i life with teh rents, I rentf rom them but still they are in teh same house. This means i have to carefully plan any kind of male encounter around them. Super easy when I was on nights, people just came over during teh day. Not so easy now. I don't say "okay at 10:30 we're having sex" I just say and think something to teh effect of "I have to be ready to go to work at such and such a time" that way I have a sense of urgency but not a feeling of planning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amylynn920 Posted July 19, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 I understand what you are saying Suzy. But what do you do to get in the mood when at 10:30 you know you should be in bed having sex because it fits your schedule and sex is the farthest thing from your mind, and you feel you're clock watching?That's what my problem is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ManofHerdreams Posted July 19, 2008 Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 So I am curious how do you plan time for sex and still keep it exciting?I don't plan for it or even on it. I would be time wasted around here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted July 19, 2008 Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 I think that 99% of sex is staged. I mean, think about it. Is it literally at that MOMENT that you want or need sex? No. Usually people are thinking about sex hours or days before they actually have it. Or, if you are a spontaneous couple, you still know sex is happening. You wash up, light candles, put on lingerie, flirt, touch, talk, suggest....in that respect sex is almost always staged or planned. I find nothing wrong with planning sex, as long as it isn't mundane and the same every time. Or, as long as you never have JUST staged or planned sex. Sometimes it is important to just do it - no candles, no lingerie - just two bodies together in harmony! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members zakdad Posted July 19, 2008 Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 I think that 99% of sex is staged. I mean, think about it. Is it literally at that MOMENT that you want or need sex? No. Usually people are thinking about sex hours or days before they actually have it. Or, if you are a spontaneous couple, you still know sex is happening. You wash up, light candles, put on lingerie, flirt, touch, talk, suggest....in that respect sex is almost always staged or planned. I find nothing wrong with planning sex, as long as it isn't mundane and the same every time. Or, as long as you never have JUST staged or planned sex. Sometimes it is important to just do it - no candles, no lingerie - just two bodies together in harmony!Amen, Mikayla!! I agree 110%! Yes, sometimes it is great to just rip each others clothes off and get down and dirty! Hard to do much with kids and all around, but that is a great primal thing to do when you can! Planned sex is also good as long as it isn't the exact same thing all the time! It doesn't have to be an exact time, just a portion of the day when you know both of you can get free for a while! I really love it when both of us have been thinking about sex for hours! It builds both of us up to the point when we get to, it is great!! Times like that, she can cum 2 or 3 times with just a quickie!! Well, not sure I would call it a quickie, but it's still not full blown gettin' nasty sex!hahaPeace,Mark Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted July 19, 2008 Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 I understand what you are saying Suzy. But what do you do to get in the mood when at 10:30 you know you should be in bed having sex because it fits your schedule and sex is the farthest thing from your mind, and you feel you're clock watching?That's what my problem is.I understand what your saying completely. I think that's part of why you just look at it as we have a 5hour span of time, or whatever. Just gotta relax, if it happens it happens, I mean your not losing anything, right? I think you need to think of it less as scheduled sex and more as set aside time for yourselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted July 20, 2008 Members Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 Hey girl! After being married for almost 13 years yes it is pretty staged. We can't really be spontaneous anymore because of the kids etc. It is planned and it is set apart. I don't care either! Planned is good! I get everything ready: Toys, lube, lingerie. Make sure I am well groomed... Although there has been times when he has pulled me in the shower unexpectedly (last week for example) which I loved! Although I enjoy a quickie now and then I prefer having more time and to be able to be in a comfortable setting. I like what Iha said Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members vanilla_bean Posted July 20, 2008 Members Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 I had to think about this. What I would have called planned sex nights are maybe really more like planned "together time" with a strong possibility of sex. When we look ahead at the (very full) calender and realize that there is an some time open, or we clear to make time, I like to plan something for us to do. I love to go out somewhere with both of us thinking about what will happen when we get home. It is hard to make time with family, work, etc, so it is important to take the opportunities when they come. If I don't plan something special for us on those open days, they end up just getting filled with something mundane, so I feel it's important to book them for us.Having a whole evening to ourselves doesn't happen all that often, so there are times when I just say something like, "Try to come to bed early" or "Wake me up when you get to bed." He usually will oblige. Is that a planned sex night? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ae_stowers Posted July 23, 2008 Members Report Share Posted July 23, 2008 I have a very close friend that has a problem with planned sex.... Her husband makes her have sex every other night and if they dont he keeps a tally of how much sex she owes him! I like the couple they are like family but sometimes I want to scream at the man why do you think your wife hates having sex! I told her that how can she expect to have a healthy sexual relationship with her husband when she cant tell him that she hates him calling the shots like that about sex... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amylynn920 Posted July 23, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted July 23, 2008 I have a very close friend that has a problem with planned sex.... Her husband makes her have sex every other night and if they dont he keeps a tally of how much sex she owes him! I like the couple they are like family but sometimes I want to scream at the man why do you think your wife hates having sex! I told her that how can she expect to have a healthy sexual relationship with her husband when she cant tell him that she hates him calling the shots like that about sex...Wow. Now that to me would be terrible. Hopefully she gets sick and tired of this and says enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ToyQueen Posted July 23, 2008 Members Report Share Posted July 23, 2008 I have a very close friend that has a problem with planned sex.... Her husband makes her have sex every other night and if they dont he keeps a tally of how much sex she owes him! I like the couple they are like family but sometimes I want to scream at the man why do you think your wife hates having sex! I told her that how can she expect to have a healthy sexual relationship with her husband when she cant tell him that she hates him calling the shots like that about sex...That sounds very much like my ex-husband... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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