Members sbayhylle Posted September 20, 2008 Members Report Share Posted September 20, 2008 When I was in college, I started dating this baseball player that was younger than me. I really wanted to give him a nice romantic night so I had candles going all over the room, wine, and music playing. We're into it hot and heavy and I'm giving him head. Well I was tired of being in the position I was in as my legs were starting to cramp so I decided to change positions. As I was moving I had a full blown cramp. I was trying to be cool about it though which only made it worse. I HAD to straighten my leg immediately and ended up falling off the end of the bed backwards and doing a sort of naked flip. God I was mortified, I'm sure he was impressed with my naked ass. Nothing like flipping off the bed while you're trying to impress someone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kjellis Posted November 5, 2008 Members Report Share Posted November 5, 2008 One time I was on top. Then my wife says she wants on top, so we try to do it without taking it out. Roll to our side, so far so good. We roll one more time and there she is on top and I didn't have to pull out. Never had been able to do that before. So she decides to see if she can turn around and be on top with her back to me. So she tries but my penis slips out. Oh well. So she moves to grab ahold of it and position to stick it back in. She puts her one hand on the bed. But by this time we are close to the edge and she misses the bed, slips and I get an elbow in the nuts. She was so sorry. Almost to the point of tears. But she did a nice job kissing them better Then this other time...wasn't during sex, but we were leaving Glasgow airport to head home from a holiday. We are at security and the woman at the x-ray machine is looking at my bag funny. So she waves me over. She asks me to describe the contents of my bag. So I run through MP3 Player, cell phone, camera, battery charger, my Guiness pint glasses, bottle of scotch (before the liquids restrictions). Then she says there is something organic that we can't figure out. So she says well I'll have to go thru your bag. So I say fine. Guess what is sitting on top? A half used box of condoms. I turned a little red. My wife packed them in there. I had no clue they were in there. She shoots me a smile. Then I remember...."OH, my heather gem!!!" So she says, that would explain it. So I am sort of repacking and she hands me the condoms and says "Hope you 2 enjoyed your trip to Scotland" and give me a wink. So I said very much so.I am so glad it was a woman and not a guy. I am way more comfortable talking about sex stuff with women...well other than with my best buddy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jess17758 Posted September 15, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 15, 2009 h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members triedntru Posted September 17, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 OMG!!! I haven't posted in so long, but I have GOT to tell you this one! My friend came over and he brought some alcohol. Well, I had WAY too much in a very short time so needless to say, I was completely wasted. So, we're having fun and playing and whatnots when all of a sudden, I got SICK!!! I felt sooo bad, but I ended up puking and then literally passing out! We're still best friends, but I'm trying to get a replay...minus the liquor! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amplexus Posted October 2, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 2, 2009 One night, my fiance and I got a little drunk... ok, well I was REALLY drunk! So we're goin' at it, some smokin hot sex - and I cum HARD! He goes to get in the shower and clean up and I get up to get a towell to wipe off with... well I realized that the bed was pretty wet... more so than just cum! He literally fucked the piss outta me and I didn't even realize it!!!! To this day he won't let me forget about it! Totally humiliating at the time, but freaking hilarious now!! lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amplexus Posted October 2, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 2, 2009 This happened a two weeks ago.We had one of the grandsons' for a few days, he is 20 months old. He sleeps in the room next to ours.Before going to bed, he and I where looking at a 'I spy' book, naming the pictures. (love these books, so cool)He wanted to take it to bed with him, so I let him. The next morning, we hear our door creak open and him crawaling up between us from the foot of the bed.We hear pages turning, and him saying 'butt'............. page turns ..................'butt'............. page turns................. 'butt'I roll over to see this little boy paging thru papa's penthouse forum. OMG!!I gently took it away, fetched his I spy book, and he resumed naming the pictures. Papa said he was proud of the little guy for being so smart!I hope he is young enough to forget papa's butt book!!OMG I've been laughing for like 5 minutes straight!!! Hilarious!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amplexus Posted October 2, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 2, 2009 HAHA.......that is so funny. Mine (which not sure counts either) just happened on Monday. Was at the doctor for a checkup on my meds. Then I asked if they(the meds) could be messing with my period cuz I had started to have some problems with it. He said yes, because I had went through so many in such a short time. Switching through different kinds to find ones that work for me. And he also told me that it could also make me dry down there. I said, Oh, I haven't noticed because I always use lube because my epesiotomy scar. "what do you mean" he asked"well it rips when I have sex without tons of lube even if I'm reallly wet"went throguh the whole story of getting the epesiotomy and all the problems I have had with it.."what kind of lube do you use?"me starting to turn red by now....."um......i have lots of different kinds" didn't want to say well i have this site i get these all off of....cuz i knew he probably wouldn't recognize any names.......like the tootimid pleasure gel......"well, have you tried astroglide? I have lots of patients that said it worked good for them""is that silicone based?" I asked...since I haven't even considered it in the past or looked at it"yeah I am pretty sure it is""oh well then nevermind""why?"he asked..............my face burning by now.............."why?" he repeated"because you can't use that with silicone toys".....my face on fire!!!!!!!!!!!!"what?....OH!....you can't? why not? And why are you blushing""it will ruin the toys.""why are you blushing""this isn't usually a conversation you have with your doctor....usually don't talk about sex toys!"That was seriously funny. but i was turning red cuz I know that I am on this site all the time and didn't feel like saying....."oh I belong to this sex web site where I get stuff from and learn things ".... and so on. Not that there is anythign wrong with that........but just embarassing to talk to your doctor about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (it was to me anyways since i didn't expect the convo. to ever go that direction) but next time i might not be so embarassed.....Too funny!!! I would be so mortified!!! Like you, I am not very open about my sex life or how big of a freak I am in real life lol. Nobody except my fiance knows I even surf a forum like this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amplexus Posted October 2, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 2, 2009 HAHA.......that is so funny. Mine (which not sure counts either) just happened on Monday. Was at the doctor for a checkup on my meds. Then I asked if they(the meds) could be messing with my period cuz I had started to have some problems with it. He said yes, because I had went through so many in such a short time. Switching through different kinds to find ones that work for me. And he also told me that it could also make me dry down there. I said, Oh, I haven't noticed because I always use lube because my epesiotomy scar. "what do you mean" he asked"well it rips when I have sex without tons of lube even if I'm reallly wet"went throguh the whole story of getting the epesiotomy and all the problems I have had with it.."what kind of lube do you use?"me starting to turn red by now....."um......i have lots of different kinds" didn't want to say well i have this site i get these all off of....cuz i knew he probably wouldn't recognize any names.......like the tootimid pleasure gel......"well, have you tried astroglide? I have lots of patients that said it worked good for them""is that silicone based?" I asked...since I haven't even considered it in the past or looked at it"yeah I am pretty sure it is""oh well then nevermind""why?"he asked..............my face burning by now.............."why?" he repeated"because you can't use that with silicone toys".....my face on fire!!!!!!!!!!!!"what?....OH!....you can't? why not? And why are you blushing""it will ruin the toys.""why are you blushing""this isn't usually a conversation you have with your doctor....usually don't talk about sex toys!"That was seriously funny. but i was turning red cuz I know that I am on this site all the time and didn't feel like saying....."oh I belong to this sex web site where I get stuff from and learn things ".... and so on. Not that there is anythign wrong with that........but just embarassing to talk to your doctor about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (it was to me anyways since i didn't expect the convo. to ever go that direction) but next time i might not be so embarassed.....Too funny!!! I would be so mortified!!! Like you, I am not very open about my sex life or how big of a freak I am in real life lol. Nobody except my fiance knows I even surf a forum like this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amplexus Posted October 2, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 2, 2009 This is probably one of those "you had to have been there" kind of things, but I'll share anyway.The boy and I had just watched a show about the evolution of sex, which discussed at great length what position t-rex might have mated in so as to avoid the female having to support the massive weight of the male. The show demonstrated each theory with an animation, and when it got to the final and most plausible theory (the female lowering her front half and raising her tail in the air, out of the way,) the animation was quite fluid and believable. The boy said, in a very authoritative tone like he would know anything about it, "That seems reasonable." For some reason that struck us as funny, and we laughed about it for a good long time.Flash forward to that night. We're going at it doggy style, and my arms are getting tired so I decide to rest my weight on a pillow... front half lowered, butt in the air. After a minute or two I can't help myself, and I turn around and say "Hey... this seems reasonable."We continued after a brief pause for laughter, but it took him a really long time to finish that night. I ruined everything, but it was worth it. I'm never going to get a better setup for that reference I totally get that!!! F-ing hilarious!!! My stomach hurts from laughing so hard!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TheRealKingKoopa Posted November 30, 2009 Members Report Share Posted November 30, 2009 The lady and I are going at it. And our brand new Siberian Husky is just the most curious fella in the world. So he pops up under the sheets. So we stop and take him to the living room and he begins to fall asleep so we go back to the room and begin again. After a bit... what do you know... he starts licking our feet and she just starts laughing...We were in her room and she was on top... she wanted to be on bottom so i just sat up and kept her close without pulling out. I turned off the bed and stood up. Were still going at it while im standing then i begin to turn around and i believe the bed is right behind her..... nope..... Only half our bodies hit the bed and then all of our bodies hit the floor. SO... isstead of getting up we just finished on the floor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ilovebabyjada Posted May 14, 2010 Members Report Share Posted May 14, 2010 just had to bring this one back! My hubby and I were getting going and we went to kiss.. we bump teeth & glasses (whenever we hit our glasses against eachother one of us ALWAYS says "clank! clank!" ... we just got glasses a couple months ago) and then we both start laughing so hard! .. we wait a couple minutes, start again.. and just can't concentrate, kills it every time, but we get a great laugh and just say "guess this isn't our night" lolanyone else? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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