Stretch Marks...

[kisskat]

Thanks DADT. I'm really not too sure if anything looks better. The ex nicely informed me that he wasn't attracted to my post baby body (although I later found out that he wasn't even attracted to my pre-baby body) due to the stretch marks and due to the fact that my boobs had gone down a 'whole cup size'. Which was why he asked me to get implants, of course. He said that he would eventually "learn to live with" my post baby body, but it'd take time. He really had no idea that what he said was skewed, nor that his ideas were skewed. Actually typing this to you made me refer back to an email he sent to his family, about my body changes and about how it's normal for men to have issues with their wives post baby body. Here's a snipit. My IRL friend on TT has read this, but to everyone else, here it is....

"I said it was unreasonable for her to assume that her body changing that much would not

have any effect on me (I totally understand why and sympathize for what she's had to go through birthing/raising our children and I feel guilty for having come out of it physically scot-free so to speak.) I told her it's always been an issue with men having to cope with the fact that their wives were no longer the same as when they married them, it's an age old issue, but it was one I understood and could deal with in time, because for me love is what makes the world go around and not sex. I've explained that her breasts have changed considerably and what she's sensed from me is true, but that it is something I would deal with and know would become comfortable with eventually."

Anyways, I hope that's not too personal to share, however this is the real reason that I still struggle even though it's been 2 years since the split. If someone who said they loved me like crazy for years could end up thinking/feeling these things about me, how can I really feel secure again? Besides, you've all seen my pics...although you never saw before pics, I can attest that I'm really not THAT different!!!! So WTF?

Now I say that but I'm pretty much OK these days (lately). But there is some of this stuff that still lingers in me. Deep.

And want to know something REALLY sad? I've gained a few lbs in the past 2 years (which has in essence made me curvier, although I am still smack in the middle of the weight range for my height) and the thought crossed my mind a few months ago was this...I wondered if my ex would like my boobs NOW. Now that they're bigger, probably back to where they 'were' pre-baby. I actually pondered this thought! And then I remembered that I'm also curvier everywhere else and that was NOT ok with the ex. He wanted porn girls, super skinny with big fake boobs...not "healthy" weight with normal sized boobs.

I actually cried over that thought. And I shared it with my boyfriend. Poor guy!

Anyways, sorry to ramble. I use these moments as self therapy! LOL.

WTF was he thinking?! I mean really....I assume he never change from the time you met him right?! GRRR!!!! I hate men and women like that!!!! Things like really make me mad because I have seen what it does to people. I am so sorry you had to go through that and I am glad you got rid of that SOB!!! He did not deserve you and most definetly did not deserve the gift you gave him (your children). I am glad you have found a guy that really enjoys you for you and not your phsycal appearance. You deserve it so much!!

Girl, I wish I looked as good as you do!!!! I have stretch marks too....kids do that and there is not much you can do about it. I never had a problem with my weight before I had kids but after I had my to babies i had issues. I am now down to a good size and am glad for it, but I have those marks. I would not worry about them too much. They are your battle scars....LOL!!! I look at mine now and they do not bother me as much as they did when they first appeared. I would not give much more thought to them.