Ponderisms

[Tyger]

PONDERISMS

· I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned

that most people die of natural causes.

· There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the

dead.

· Life is sexually transmitted.

· Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which

one can die.

· The only difference between a rut and a grave is the

depth.

· Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in

hospitals dying of nothing.

· Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these

days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

· Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

· All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It

pays no attention to criticism.

· In the 60's, people took acid to make the world

weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to

make it normal.

· How is it one careless match can start a forest fire,

but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

· Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I

think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever

comes out?'

· If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a

song about him?

· Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get

undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

· If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

· If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is

made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

· Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet

Soup?

· Does pushing the elevator button more than once make

it arrive faster?

· Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

· Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?

[ManofHerdreams]

:D

[ladylove]

:D

[Sunday]

· Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I

think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever

comes out?'

I always wondered that about eggs. Who was the guy that said, "Look! Something came out of that bird's ass! Let's eat it!"

[ladylove]

I always wondered that about eggs. Who was the guy that said, "Look! Something came out of that bird's ass! Let's eat it!"

:lol: