Members Kama Posted May 31, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 31, 2017 I need to do a late night vent. I am lucky that I am around good people, who have the common sense to not do mean things or step on my boundaries. In the past, I found it confusing and humorous when people would say "stand up for yourself more. It's your fault that you allow people to treat you badly." When you do speak up , you're still criticized by the same person who told you to stand up for yourself. I think people, who shame you for standing up for yourself, want to push you back down. Or, they want to mess with your head. As I write this, I am surrounded by some lovely people and am grateful for what I have now. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 I get a kick out of it too. It's like they tell you that but mean against everyone but them. After being with my ex for so long, and, even though our divorce was pretty amicable, when I stand up to him, he HATES it, though he was one of the ones that wanted me to stand up for myself, mostly with my mother. But it really does make you feel better when you stand up for yourself when you know you have to. And I believe it makes you a stronger person too. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kama Posted August 13, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted August 13, 2017 On 7/18/2017 at 11:20 AM, Tyger said: I get a kick out of it too. It's like they tell you that but mean against everyone but them. After being with my ex for so long, and, even though our divorce was pretty amicable, when I stand up to him, he HATES it, though he was one of the ones that wanted me to stand up for myself, mostly with my mother. But it really does make you feel better when you stand up for yourself when you know you have to. And I believe it makes you a stronger person too. You're right tiger. We have to pick and choose our battles. I feel happier knowing that I can say how I feel without being attacked. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted August 17, 2017 Report Share Posted August 17, 2017 Yep. It sure is! I'm changing my defensive mindset to be a bit more easy going. It's still hard, especially after 11+yrs of my ex husband always blaming me or everyone else for all of his issues. My GF now gets defensive a bit too. Having pasts can do that. But I calmly let her know I'm just voicing concerns, not criticizing her. It's a huge effort to change, but we're trying, and the effort shows!! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members H. Housewife Posted September 1, 2017 Members Report Share Posted September 1, 2017 Instead of a heated discussion I choose sarcasm as a safety net. Afterwards it's all good and funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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