EvilleWife

A similar question .... would you TAKE money for sex?

I'm glad you posted this reply. My husband and I went through something VERY similar - except I am the one who is bipolar. There was a time when I was in a very depressed state when we didn't have sex for months (I don't know how many). I told my husband the same thing your husband told you. I don't know if he just masturbated with online sex partners - or if he actually met some people -- but he got what he needed. I am medicated now and we are in a MUCH better place. As you may have seen in other posts, we are active in the swing lifestyle. My bipolar episode definitely put a damper on that!! LOL But he chose to not particpate in any house parties while I wasn't participating. We have now made it through all of it. We now have met some wonderful friends who have become FWB for us. They are in the lifestyle with us. We didn't know it when we met them that they were in the lifestyle. We found out about that after they were sharing stories with us about a vacationo they took. My husband and the husband of the other couple work together. The wife of the other couple and I are good friends. We are friends first -- and enjoy "adult" activities on occasion ..... It's working for us for now ... and all 4 are happy with the situation.

I didn't see "Zebra Lounge" - but it sounds interesting. Being with the "wrong couple" definitely can be a problem - but that's one of the reasons we don't just answer ads and jump into bed. We meet couples, talk to them, etc. When we go to parties, we have our own signals for if things don't "feel right" and one of us wants to leave or stop. Yes - the lifestyle is addictive. My husband and I have trouble imagine our lives without swinging - but it's not just because we both want to screw as many people as possible. I actually ENJOY seeing my husband enjoying himself. It truly arouses me to see that look on his face when he is with someone else knowing that I'm watching him. And I like my husband happy. He feels the same way about me. But (I'll only speak for myself - but I'm confident he feels the same way), I know that I would not be with another man, woman, or couple without my husband there with me - because, to us, that would be cheating. What we do together as a couple is for the mutual enjoyment and benefit of us as a couple. If either of us sneaks, lies, or goes without the other, THEN it's cheating. But why do we need to cheat? We both get everything we want without cheating. To answer another question - yes, we do have many many nights (and days) of "plain" one-on-one sex with just him and me. Swinging has enhanced our private sex life. My husband is still my #1 man. He pleases me as no one else can. Others may have different techniques - but he knows ME. He gives me pleasure in ways that I get nowhere else; I have no problems reaching one (or more) orgasm(s) when I'm with just him. EvilleWife

I hope you don't mind my putting my 2 cents in here .... My husband and I have been a part of the lifestyle on and off for a few years. Our #1 rule is that if we aren't both in FULL agreement, we don't go or do it or participate or whatever. For us, the lifestyle isn't as much about the sex itself as it is about seeing each other happy and satisfied. We both have curiosities and interests that are not fulfilled within the marriage - and exploring those curiosities and interests together do not threaten our marriage. We talk before we go to a party or meet a couple. We talk before there is any action. We talk after any encounter. We go together; we leave together. We communicate with each other at every level --- I have no doubt he will meet more beautiful women. He has no doubt I'll meet more handsome men. But the surface beauty of each other is not what our marriage is based on; our mutual love, respect, and commitment to each other and to our relationship is what our marriage is based on. And, as long as we continue being honest with each other about what's happening, and there's no lying, then we're ok. Those are my thoughts

Nope - no need to pay for sex .... to many people "out there" are willing to have sex for free if my husband ever decides to become a monk!!!

I met many many people from online -- some are still friends; many were absolutely jerks ... then I met my future husband. We met through the Yahoo personals. We emailed each other for several weeks before we actually met in person. When we decided to meet, my older son (age 17) and his friend (age 18) went to the same restaurant and sat in a nearby booth, just to make sure I was ok! (It was really sweet of my son to do that!) Within a year, the man I met and I were engaged and now we've been married for 4 years. We have 2 other couples who are friends who have met online and are now married as well ..... I highly recommend it -- but use common sense when meeting

The Anne Rice Beauty Trilogy is ALWAYS worth re-reading .... Other than that, my husband and I enjoy reading Penthouse Forum letters together.