JJ_Amie

Well I am a man and I work for a rather large construction firm. So that would be a a huge HR nightmare. How about you?

Alright, my wife has been reading books like "50 shades of gray" and other books about men spanking women. I didn't think anything of it. I mean just because she reads fiction about, didn't mean she was into it. All is well, I mean she even tried some new stuff and I thought it is cool. But then in some of our flirtations, she has hinted on a couple of occasions the need of a spanking. I brushed it off the first couple of times. She is provoking it too. Now please understand, I come from an Ole South upbringing. Ladies are suppose to be treated as princesses. I still hold the open the door for her. I escort her as if we were still date. I still say yes ma'am and no ma'am to her. After 14 years of marriages and countless arguments, I have never called her a "bitch" or any ugly name. I have ran off people who have been disrespectful to her. I have never even dared raise a hand to her, she is precious to me. In my family and where I am from, you just don't hit women (if for no other reason than, its a good way to end up dead.) I know that this wouldn't be the same as actually hitting her, I just need some guidance here. I guess you would say I have lived a sheltered existence as far as this goes. I don't think she wants to be humiliated or abused. I will be honest, I don't know what she is wanting. Any guidance would be appreciated.

Alright, my wife has been reading books like "50 shades of gray" and other books about men spanking women. I didn't think anything of it. I mean just because she reads fiction about, didn't mean she was into it. All is well, I mean she even tried some new stuff and I thought it is cool. But then in some of our flirtations, she has hinted on a couple of occasions the need of a spanking. I brushed it off the first couple of times. She is provoking it too. Now please understand, I come from an Ole South upbringing. Ladies are suppose to be treated as princesses. I still hold the open the door for her. I escort her as if we were still date. I still say yes ma'am and no ma'am to her. After 14 years of marriages and countless arguments, I have never called her a "bitch" or any ugly name. I have ran off people who have been disrespectful to her. I have never even dared raise a hand to her, she is precious to me. In my family and where I am from, you just don't hit women (if for no other reason than, its a good way to end up dead.) I know that this wouldn't be the same as actually hitting her, I just need some guidance here. I guess you would say I have lived a sheltered existence as far as this goes. I don't think she wants to be humiliated or abused. I will be honest, I don't know what she is wanting. Any guidance would be appreciated.

I did ask my father-in-law. He wasn't thrilled with the idea. He thought we ought to finish college first, but knew I would treat his daughter with respect and I have surpassed his expectations. Because of that, he and I are really good friends. I was raised in the deep south and some traditions you just don't mess with. By the way before any one asks, no she is NOT my cousin.

Stay tuned TT boys and girls. Have I a funny story for you!!!!

When I got married I had to stop putting notches in that belt and trade it in for a bigger belt.

Just remember, your not in high school anymore. Just be yourself and don't sweat the small stuff.

I haven't dated in 15 years. (man I feel old now. That is when I proposed to Amie.) But I have seen a couple of your pictures and I have talked with you on here. Once word gets out your dating, I don't think your going to have any problems.

Breathing

I have followed your post. I can say that Amie and I went through a lot of this a couple of years ago. She had a lot on her and out of the blue, my company let me go. She was working, I was looking for work, She was paying the bills, cleaning and taking care of our daughter. I had checked out mentally. I didn't talk to to her about what was going on in my head either. Here is what was going on in my head: I no longer felt like a man. I couldn't tell her that though. And it turned into 3 months and we hadn't even kissed passionatly. Finally I got mad and yelled at her and three months of frustation blew up at me in about 30 minutes. I was so mad, but I listened to her. She is the love of my life and I had been shutting her out, not being her partner. I started by making myself a list of things to do (Chore List). I cooked supper (she hates to cook too) I tried to clean dishes as I cooked, she cleaned up after supper. I went back to giving DD and putting her to bed. I helped with the cleaning and made sure to do a load of laundry on tuesday and friday. I was still hurting and didn't want to talk, but she understood and loved me anyway. I can't make him listen, but you know deep down how to get his attention. Yelling doesn't get the results you are looking for, so what will work? How long have ya'll just talked about what your daughter is doing in school? I don't know what to say about the pain pills or the nipple flipping, but I can speak to the core of this from experience.

Sorry Tyger, I didn't mean to imply that your husband was cheating on you. And you used good logic in kicking your first husband out. I guess, in my experience, my wife has never done anything so horrible that I couldn't forgive her. And, though I am a big dumb jerk, she has always forgiven me for my transgressions. Most of the time, though, it is stuff like forgetting to take the garbage to the road.

you ask what the cheating spouse had to do to prove that he was sorry. He had to except the consequences of his actions. He has violated trust and that means that he is not trusted.

I have seen couples overcome these transgressions. It take a long time and was hard on both the transgressor and the offended spouse. The thing you want to ask, is he truly remorseful and if giving the opportunity, would he do it again. If he did it again, how would you feel about that. It will take lots of time to work these things out and more people don't make it than do. If you truly love him, I would incourage you to try to work things out, but don't battle anything up. And if he has a hard timme facing the truth, he will need to adapt to it.

I perfer the lights on but Amie wants them off.

Not too serious. People tell you what they want you to know. I try to be up front with my "friends". On TT forum and on Facebook I let everyone know I am happily married. \