I hung out with the boy this weekend for the first time in a couple of weeks. I am feeling so much better about things; mostly, I think, because he is obviously feeling better. What originally drew me to him is his honesty and openness, and the past few times I've seen him I've felt like he was holding back, sort of shielding himself... which doesn't bode well even for a friendship. I was kinda worried he was going to let the friendship slip and the relationship was going to turn into benefits only, but he was back to being himself on Friday, to my great relief. I feel like now I can start to enjoy this for what it is and not worry so much.

He explained things a bit better to me too, without my even having to ask. He said that he has been in relationships most of his life, and for almost the first time, he found himself without one. He was feeling alone and depressed. One of his friends gave him the FANTASTIC advice to stay single for a while and try to figure out who he was as an individual, and learn how to feel whole by himself, so that is what he has been doing. He said he is starting to feel better and even like being single! I'm really, really glad for him, because I think that's such an incredibly important lesson for anyone to learn, and it has everything to do with being able to love yourself. Being able to recognize that you are broken and having the courage to do what it takes to really fix it instead of going for an easy, temporary solution displays a terribly uncommon level of introspection and maturity too... he is full of surprises.

I won't lie, I'd still like to have more with him. I feel very right when I am with him, I don't know how to explain it... just being around him puts a smile on my face, and it was like that even when he was just a coworker (no longer working in the same place, for the record .) But now that I know what was going on and he has opened back up, I feel like I can just sit back and let whatever happens happen. I can be content. Most importantly though, I know that on the off chance I get my wish, it will be for the right reasons now.