bbarney

Is there anywhere nearby you two could get it on concealed? If not, maybe something to tease him before he has to go back to work, and this better part after work. Maybe some lingerie under normal clothes, or vibrating underwear, something to get him thinking about it but itll be better than just an email or a text because he will see you in person first.

Yeah that makes sense. Initially after i posted that i found another woman asking about it and it all came down to jealousy and it makes a lot of sense. After i read Thurisas's post i calmed down even more to the point that when i did start getting jealous i made myself forget about it or ignore it. I guess in a good way it is healthy to be jealous because it shows i do care but also i have to make sure it doesnt affect us. I think she noticed it was bugging me too, even though i didnt bring it up, because she stopped mentioning him so much and we spent the weekend cuddling instead of on our computers which was really nice. She also went out of her way to make sure i knew she loved me and that she appreciated what i do, so it was an esteem-boost. I also realized i did the same thing to her essentially with someone i was professionally associated with at school. She was upset about it because the girl flirted with me, but i didnt want her jealousy to get in the way of the professional connection. I apologized for it recently and told her that i understood how she felt now, so this has all been a big learning experience. Thanks for the support and advice both of you, it helps a lot and it makes me realize that jealousy and rationality do not go hand in hand =) .

From what i have experienced it could sill be the same thing. I am not a female, so keep that in mind, but my partner went through something very similar. During play there would be times where she couldn't handle it and she would push me away and ask me to stop. During penetration it was difficult and painful for her. The difference is that she could get herself off if i wasnt there. What we found works best is talking about what was causing it, and then working through that. I dont know if youve had some sort of experience in the past, but the best advice i could give is to take some time to think through what may be causing this for you, is there something bothering you? Are you maybe afraid to have an orgasm? Sometimes our minds have strong impacts on our bodies, so they dont react the way we expect them to. It might even be worth getting a journal for yourself, and keep a record of when you try, how it made you feel, why you think it didnt end well. On the other hand if this is something medical, i have never heard of it. But rereading your post. Sometimes when i get close to a really strong orgasm i do want it to stop because it feels like this wave of tension is about to hit me, and then when it does it hurts (from sensitivity) but it is still amazing. Also, as far as vaginal sex, a lot of women, especially when they first start having sex, do not enjoy vaginal penetration. My partner was not aroused or pleasured at all by it, and didnt tell me until about 3 months later. It took almost a year maybe a year and a half before she was continually honest enough to the point i knew what i was doing right and what i was doing wrong. Finally after two years it was at the point where i could get her to orgasm almost every time. If your partner isnt performing well enough, you might want to consider talking to them, letting them know that you need more clit stimulation. Its not something to be embarrassed about, its normal. You two could even do research together, find new techniques, or try new toys (like cock rings, those are amazing for clit action). One final thing to note is that if youre stressed out during the masturbation, youre not going to enjoy it. Relax, take a nice warm bath, or play some nice music and lay in bed, whatever you do to calm down. Once youve relaxed fully, just play, not with the intention of getting off, but just of playing. Dont focus on if you are getting close, or if you are going to get off, just think about what movements feel good, and what ones dont. Experiment with it. Even if this doesnt get you off, repeating this might get you to the point that you can enjoy it and eventually have an orgasm. If i remember correctly from all the different posts ive read, a lot of women have the orgasm issue, you are not alone =) .

Hi guys, i was hoping maybe someone could give me some advice about something. Me and my girlfriend have been dating three years this October, and so far things have been pretty calm. I am her first ever boyfriend and she doesnt have too many friends. The majority of her friends except for one, have stabbed her in the back and she cant trust them. Well a couple months ago she made friends with this guy she works with. I didnt think much of it. I could tell he was into her, but i wasnt worried at all. We have always had a very trusting and honest relationship. We spend almost every day together as well, so i knew there wasnt much risk of her seeing some guy on the side. Well i had to drive up to my university for a meeting with my online professor, and i wouldnt be back till five in the afternoon. She gets out at three. She tells me she has plans with her sister to go to the new outlet, and that she might be back late. She gets back at 7 at which point i come over and she tells me how her day went. A day maybe two later, she shows me a text saying there was a rumor going around her workplace that she was tired of "her annoying boyfriend" and that her and this guy were going on dates. I laughed it off, because we had been together daily except for the one day she was out with her sister. Well you guessed it, a couple days later she comes clean. She was out with this guy at the shopping mall because her sister had bailed and she was bored. Eventually we cleared it up, i forgave her and she promised she had absolutely no interest in him, and that she wouldnt be talking to him anymore because she didnt want those kinds of rumors going around. A week ago she started being evasive about her FB and i find out shes talking to him on FB again. She swears theyre friends. When she goes downstairs i take a peek and he is overtly flirting with her. He even asks her if she wants to play the question game. We talked about it and at first i told her i really didnt want them talking, because it made me really uncomfortable. The next day i told her she could, because i wanted her to be able to have friends, and i didnt want to be the jealous boyfriend who stopped her from talking to other men. I am only worried because they talk a lot, and he is still very obviously flirting, and in some ways it seems like shes flirting with him. Does this happen? Should i be worried? Or should i just calm down and let it happen? I know she loves me but sometimes i start thinking maybe shes only so happy (and horny) lately because shes thinking about him. Ive seen his pictures and i dont think hes her type, but how can i be certain? Thanks

Well assuming we could be as loud as we wanted, and had enough space on the bed... I would love her to first kiss me nice and slow, all over. I wouldnt want her to touch my penis though, i would want to be teased longer than that. Then i would want her to make me eat her pussy until she got extremely close (or off if she chose so). Then i would want to be teased slowly until im on the verge of cumming. I would want her to finger my ass while massaging my perineum. Then i would want her to put on her harness and fuck my ass as hard as she wanted (though it would hurt, sometimes i fantasize about her being rough as long as shes still in control of it). When shes finally too tired to fuck my ass any longer i would want her to take the strapon off and either insert myself into her ass or pussy and get us both off.

I totally understand where you are coming from. I remember going through high school and the anal jokes were made and this is before i was anywhere near sexually active. The common stigma among men is that enjoying anything back there is gay, and being gay is disgraceful. Well here is the thing, being gay shouldn't be disgraceful in the first place, different people enjoy different things. However its not what you do with yourself that determines it, its what you do with others. If you are sexually attracted to men, and not women, youre gay and thats perfectly okay. If you are secually attracted to women and not men, youre straight and thats okay too. As far as the anal part. I dont know about any other men, but my first approach was my girlfriend saying she wanted to use a strapon on me. I told her many many times that thats just weird for a guy and no. Well eventually i did my research, many guys enjoyed it themselves. We ordered a cheap strapon (Taylor's double g). And though it was slightly painful and awkward at first, it was actually also quite interesting. It was nice to reverse roles, but it also felt good. The first time i had my own prostate orgasm it was even better. We now have the Juli Ashton Harness which i absolutely love, and enjoy it semi frequently. I say if it feels good, and hurts no one, do it.

Im not married yet but i was raised with the teaching that i would someday ask because it was respectful. My girlfriend however has informed me not to ask because her father doesnt like that kind of thing and hed probably make many painful jokes about it lol. So i probably wont.

I absolutely love pegging. It is a very rich experience to share with your SO and though it takes some getting used to, and for most men takes some time getting over the social stigmas we grew up with, it is well worth it in the end. The main thing youll want to do before you get ready for this is research. Im assuming thats what youre doing by coming here, but feel free to google it as well. The same things that apply for anal on girls applies to us men, if not a bit more. I know i personally like to take a nice hot shower the day we plan to do it, generally a couple hours before (just because its convenient) and i use enemas to flush completely. This isnt the same case for everyone. When i do anal on my gf it doesnt matter if shes had an enema or a recent movement. The second thing youll want to keep in mind is communication. Again it sounds like a given but the main thing that holds many couples back with anal, whether it be pegging or Male on Female anal, miscommunication can cause pain. Use a lot of lube, when me and my gf first tried anal (on her) i used what i thought was enough and she was in pain. Over time ive learned that wet and messy on the lube makes a tremendous difference. Besides it gives an excuse for showering after =). When you pick out the strapon keep these main things in mind: Comfort (wearer and receiver), Size of attachment, Flexibility of attachment, and price. When i say price it isnt what you might expect. The saying stands firm, you get what you pay for. Me and my SO have used three strapons so far. The first wasnt horrible but it wasnt great, and as a first timer it hurt. That was the taylors double g. The second one was a combo between a harness and an o ring attachment. Again i went too big and it hurt. Then we went with the Juli Ashton and i was like "Finally!" not only did it feel great but the gf loved it as well. The other day she even offered to strapon me, out of the blue, without me bringing it up. Choosing the right toy will make the experience that much better. Finally, feel free to experiment. Different positions provide different experiences. The one we tried most recently and i loved and my gf enjoyed as well started with me on my side and my top leg bent. Once she had penetrated me i rotated to the right, and put my leg on her shoulder. It was an amazing view, she had great access (she was standing and i was on the edge of the bed) and i was able to use my hand to play. There are the rare instances where there is residue on the toy. This is normal, dont worry about it. We have wet wipes on hand for all our toys, theyre cheap and an amazing investment. You can also use a condom on the toy for easy cleanup.

I am circumcised and my brother isnt, as far as i know it is just much easier and cleaner. I personally am glad my mother had me circumcised at birth, and would do the same thing for my child. On the flipside i have heard stories about men who are uncircumcised enjoying sex more, lasting longer, etc. I think it comes down to personal preference, give it a shot and if you dont like it, you dont, but dont take your boss' words to heart and just dump the guy over that one thing. Who knows, you may love it orrr you may not. Gotta find out first!

She hasnt mentioned it and i havent brought it up. Like i said i dont want her to start thinking im not sexually attracted to her (shes very self concious). It's still intimate, i just felt guilty as if distracting myself was "wrong" because it isnt fully intimate at the moment. If thats confusing im sorry, i dont really know how to word it lol.

But the fact that you realize that its screwed up is a good thing. If he does call you, do whatever you can not to go back to him. I know what its like, my ex coulda kicked me in the nuts, broke up with me via text, and cheated on me with my best frien, and at the time i woulda forgiven her. A couple months later i realized, she wasnt worth a breath of my time, and i wouldnt ever go back out with her no matter what. Do what you can to give yourself time, no matter who asks you to get with them, no matter what.

By cheating, i dont mean relationship cheating, but rather in the sense of a shortcut (i dont know how to better explain). Since me and my girlfriend started having sex it has been difficult for me to last. When we first started it was on penetration, and as we progressed i could hold it a little longer every time. At first she didnt enjoy sex (i mean who would if you start and then before you can even enjoy it your partner cant go on?) but she increasingly had a better time. The problem was, no matter how long i "held" it, i had to stop when i got close, and then start over, understandably decreasing her pleasure. I recently discovered though that if i disconnected my mind from what was happening, and allowed it to think about things that would help me not get off (like yesterday i almost got into a car accident) i can last as long as i want to. I still enjoy it, not as much, but its pleasurable. Also knowing how much she is enjoying it is an amazing ego boost. I never dreamed of being able to leave her on the bed panting days in a row. I just want to know, is this bad? I dont want her to eventually think im cheating on her cause im lasting so long, or that im not attracted to her, i also dont want her to think im being less intimate. Does this method sound like it may create problems or is it just a sure win and i should enjoy it? Thanks for your input =).

Before i begin i would like to note i am only 20, and have only had as much experience as a 20 year old may have. That being said, throughout high school i was in and out of relationships where i would let girls walk all over me, because i thought i deserved nothing better. One of my girlfriends broke up and asked me out 5 times within a 3 (maybe 4) month period. She would flirt with other guys in front of me, even climb onto them and grind them. I just didnt know i could do better than them. I hated being alone, and enjoyed having someone i could be close to. Eventually it got bad enough that i called it quits (including a suicide attempt that i look back on now as ridiculous). I started having no regard for my own life, even sat down one day and ate ibuprofen like candy (in the end i took 2 under the lethal dose, something i found out later when i noticed the warning symptoms of liver problems). What i realized, is i was not as bad as i thought i was. Girls were actually talking about me behind my back in a good way! I was actually attractive to some girls, and they were girls that i thought were beautiful. I found this all out after i called myself off of dating, and let myself be single, and happy. I was only single for a few months, until i met a girl who was absolutely amazing, she did anything she could just to make me happy, we agreed to disagree whenever we needed to, it was my absolute dream (plus my parents loved her). When i finally knew what it was like to be happy i was sad to look back and to see what i used to think was "happy." You should let yourself find that place of "I don't need someone else to be me." You sound like you have an amazing and strong personality. Just because the bed is empty of another person, doesn't mean it has to feel empty. Whether it means getting a smaller bed, or more blankets, or make the room warmer, do something. You could even get a pet (i dont know if its possible for you). Research shows that pets increase endorphins (responsible for happiness) and increase a sense of personal well being. They even gave dogs to care for to low risk inmates, and noticed that with the group of inmates who had the dogs, they worked to avoid bad situations, and were out on probation sooner, because they then had someone else they felt responsible for. Also, the above idea for therapy sounds like a perfect idea if you can afford it, or if you cant find a good female friend to talk to, you need to recover from the damage these men have done to you. It is going to take time, be prepared for that, but you need to let yourself heal. Use this time to work on your career, try to get a promotion, or a raise, maybe even go back to school (or get another degree, or even a certificate). Do your best to make yourself feel better, so you can realize how perfect you are as an independent woman. As far as the exes, ignore them, no matter what it comes down to. You just need to move on, and forget the past. Whatever may happen, i wish you the best of luck. P.S Maybe invest in a few solo toys, those always help as well =).

Plugs are great, especially a set that goes upwards slowly, so you can choose, and the orgasm with one in is so much better.

Hmm, ill consider it. Never tried anything steel before, and 54 dollars is a little high for a plug as a beginner lol, but maybe if i get enough money. I was considering the colt anal trainer kit because theyre supposed to be rubbery, so it sounded like it might be more comfortable.

What do you mean exactly? Like how long would i be wearing them? Id say maybe an hour or two, probably start off only at a half hour or so.

Hi everyone. I am a straight male looking for some new plugs to play with. I have thought about getting one that vibrates but am not sure. I specifically am hoping for a comfortable one, small is great, and that i can wear out places. Im hoping for it to be comy in general, and have the ability to stay in me. Thanks =).

I personally am a straight male that loves when my gf uses a strapon on me, and originally i was totally opposed to it. In fact, i never would have even given it a shot, if we hadnt done anal on her before hand. It was one of those things where she was constantly saying "Why dont you let me do it on you?" or would mock do it to me if i brought up anal on her, and i would freak out. It was a very homophobic thing. In no way do i feel disrespectful of gays, but i was just afraid of the thought of being thoguht as gay (sometimes still feel that way). What finally got me, is i wanted to try rimming on her, but she was opposed to it, so i offered to try the strapon if i could rim her. Finally she agreed and we bought one, and ill admit, the anticipation made it verrrry erotic. Then when she finally used it on me, it was different. I didnt particularly love it, but it was interesting. Since then i have been trying new things back there and finding it is very fun. What best worked for me was reading about other people doing it, and the experiences they had. I got so jealous of some of the orgasms that i had to have one myself (and i did, one day she wa susing the strapon on me, i was on m back, she was just moving the dildo with her hand because she wasnt feeling too horny, but wanted to use it on me, and when i told her to stop cause i was close, she thought it wouldnt get me off if she kept rubbing, but it rubbed right against my prostate and i came everywhere!

My name is Brandon and i love tootimid.com. I love trying new things and toys and am always searching for a new toy to buy (when i can afford it). i have a beautiful girlfriend who i love spending time with. She is my first and only, and i couldnt be happier =). I specifically love anal, both giving and receiving and love new information on the topic. I also enjoy new sex ideas in general and love to be creative in the bedroom. You can also find many of my reviews on tootimid under bbarney =), i hope they help.

From experience, there are many facets to this, and none of them can be fully explained in text, and need practice as well. So be prepared, the first time isnt going to be mindblowing, for either of you, if you have never done it before. That isnt to say it isnt fun, erotic, or well worth it, its just like a wine being aged in a barrel, it has its flavor but needs time to get the full effect. The first, and absolutely positively first step is communication, you need to be ready, and relaxed, and he needs to be patient. I recommend experimenting with yourself a bit, getting comfortable with that area, looking at the market for toys, etc. It is a learning experience, and i think it is extremely beneficial to prepare yourself first. ONce you are comfortable, talk to your man about it, and do the same things together, experience with different types of anal play, talk about what makes you uncomfortable, be open. Everything needs to be communicated, or the first time can be ruined. I happened to skip this first step and got too eager with my girlfriend, and missed out on some truly satisfying experiences. We are progressing now (nowhere near experts) but have been able to experience anal and enjoy it. The second step is to try insertion, or something small, when my gf first let me, a finger hurt her, try comparing a finger to the full thing, it is a large leap. This is why you need time, dont rush it, make sure he doesnt either. Get toys for this kind of thing, i recommend a beaded toy. We first used this and it was extremely useful: http://www.tootimid.com/anal-tool-7-inches.html. Toys like this can make it much easier to adjust, again, many people recommend you use toys like this solo first, and then as a couple, but this is up to your discretion. When you are finally ready and relaxed, you can try inserting him. Heres where i have controversial advice. I highly recommend going condomless (my girlfriend originally said hell no to this, and i agreed, and then one day she let me, and it was so much easier) the reason i recommend this is lube dries up a lot slower, the condom doesnt catch on anything, and he is able to better feel any complications. With a condom on, i didnt know when i was accidentally hurting her, until she told me, when im not wearing one, i feel how i might be hitting a bad spot, and we communicate easier. This is your choice and i recommend research, but it is a good option. Many different sources say different positions for beginners, and they all work, its a matter of preference. If youre having difficulty getting it in, cowgirl works really well (but can be painful and difficult), missionary is okay, but we didnt find it easy at all, doggystyle i dont suggest, i couldnt manouvre properly and only hurt her, and sideways turned out easiest for us both, i can touch her, and she can move easily. Experiment and find what works best for you. Finally, end it with more communication. The number one way for it to be positive, is an open source of communication. If he hurts you, or you dont like it, or you want to try something else, tell him. Be receptive and listen to what he says, by communicating with each other it will be a truly positive experience. Slightly off topic, i personally found it immensely informational when i let her take me with a strapon, i realized what was hurting her, and it helped us both. Of course many men are opposed to this (I was as well but gave it a shot for her), you might want to talk about this option, but it isnt necessary at all. Hope this helps.