crazy1

A banana peel? REALLY?? All I ever need those for is slipping up my opponent on Mario Kart...who would guessed?

yes, my wife helps, she ususally sucks my balls, or tells me she likes to fist me more than watching me do it. We masturbate only as foreplay and don't when we are alone.

Very well spoken Mikayla. I don't think there is anything else to add.

I think Sandra is right. The sex issues are just a symptom of what is really happening. I have tried to help out on all of this for some time and I can relate to Telecoms feelings of frustration. I think if you are going to ask her about what is going on, you need to dig deeper than "why is the sex so bad". She needs to come clean about how she feels about your kids, the drugs, where or if she sees your relationship in six months ect. I Despise passive-aggresive tactics and that is all she is using. I think that she knows how the bad sex is affecting you and trying to use it to drive a wedge in between you. Some people just like to be miserable and now, she can say, the sex was bad so he left. She needs more help than a sex-therapist, Howard is right on that note. I think there is much more than meets the eye on this one. Crazy

I really do apologize for the novel, but I wanted to be as clear as possible. Again, sorry for the HUGE post.

to me, it sounds as though this is your problem. I don't mean that in the way that you should just get over it, but I mean that you need to fix something. I have read a couple of blogs, and have had personall experience myself, and my brother has said the same thing, and when it all comes down to it, the problem stems from the men. Let me elaborate. My brother was complaining that his wife didn't want sex enough, they have two children both under the age of 10, and she just rebuffed him at all of his advances. I was bored one day and looking for some things to read on the net, when I came across a blog from a male suburbanite, who loved his wife, had great sex, when she would participate. After about 10 months of supreme frustration, he was able to get his wife to open up about why the sex was so rare. She told him that he was emotionally distant, and they lost their emotional connection. I related this to my brother, and he and I began working to try and make ourselves more "emotionally available" to our spouses. The man on the blog said he was doing more, and his sex life picked up over the course of six months or so from once per three months or so, to now he gets it maybe once a day or more. She has opened up about new sex positions, places(anal) and she is a whole lot more of his ideal sex partner, all he had to do was try to do more with his family. He spends more time with his kids, does the dishes every so often, helps with household stuff, and sits down, talks with his wife, and is not trying to seduce her all the time. Now, I have been trying to do the same, and I must tell you, that now, with less stress and things to worry about when she gets home, my sex life has increased even more than it was. And it was pretty frequent. My brother who was in a slump of almost 4 months, now gets it about 3 times per week or more. He too is spending more time with his children, wife and a little less time obsessing about work, and being lazy around the house. So I guess if you are wanting a bit more sex, try focusing on it less, and try to meet more of your wife's needs. Sex for women is much more emotional than for men. We like visual stimulation, they like emotional stimulation. We can if they house is dirty, they might not. We talk all day about our lives, work, sports, problems and so on, but rarely ever focus on what is important to our spouses. Once the communication begins, then you can move on to other things. Giver her oral sex, with absolutely no chance of having the favor returned. If she tries, tell her that you are wanting to focus on her, and let her have all the pleasure. You might not even try for sex for a couple of weeks and let her clue you in to when she wants it. But the first thing you have to do is, communicate with her. DO NOT GET HOSTILE!!! the moment she thinks you are accusing her, the issue is lost, and you will resolve nothing. Take her out to dinner, clean the house, ask about her day. And when you are alone, and have some time that you won't get interrupted, ask her about it. Be honest, and tell her you love her, and adore her, but need to know if she is feeling all right, or has just lost interest in sex? Best of luck. Crazy1

That is the case all over. That is almost entirely what my wife loves about our sex life. We are open about what we like, and she loves that in bed I like to be in control. I don't abuse or force anything, but it gets done the way I want it, when I want it. She knows that I always, and I MEAN ALWAYS take care of her needs. She doesn't go to sleep(or work) unsatisfied.

I am just afraid that this will attract more seedy bots and individuals who are here to try get laid, rather than people who are genuinely concerned with the well being of people who come here in search of real advice and answers.

the two ladies that have just joined us I think are bots. Raya(sp) and petitesweet are from the same community and foriegn speaking. I am afraid of this fourm being infested with stupid mindless bots posting for sex and demeaning what we are trying to do with this forum. If i am wrong about these two ladies, I will GLADLY appologize.

Has anyone ever used any nipple toys, clamps? What kinds do you have/use? Do any of our men or women have pierced nipples? Are they more sensitive, does it make sex more intense?

Well, I think we need a bit more info. What do you do normally? What do you consider foreplay? Kissing is, biting is, oral, petting, rimming, licking, sucking all sorts of things are foreplay.

Jen, I need some advice. Over the weekend my wife suggested anal. I want to find some info on this and I will do the research, we will learn about it before we try. I want to know what are the best beginner anal toys? If anyone can help me out with some ideas, I would be very greatful for all the help. So Jen or anyone else, what is the best anal beginner toy?

I have to say, My wife blew my mind saturday. We had sex twice in the morning(I love saturday morning cartoons!) and she was asking about a third time. I said, no way, after two really hot encounters, I was about tapped out. She looks at me, and with no hint of joke or tease she asks, What if I let you put it back there? I WAS FLOORED!! I have wanted to try this for quite some time, and now We are beginning to educate our selves and she is willing to try. I don't want to mess this opportunity up, so I am asking for all the women and men on here who do this regularly or have any advice to pass it on. I am checking out a good site I know of that is very good on sexuall health and send her some E-mail articles to read. I hope this goes well, and I'll let you know how it all goes. I have one question at the outset of all this.....How should I stimulate her anal opening to begin to get it relaxed. I have average length, but some pretty large girth, and don't want to go too fast. I began with my finger saturday, but we got interrupted and deceided to go slow, and learn what was most comfortable, and the best way to go about trying anal for the first time. Thanks for any responses, I don't want anything really crude or stupid, so please be respectful. Crazy1

AMEN BROTHER buttman.....ok, well maybe that was not the right place for an amen, but I do agree with you 100 percent.

There is kind of standing defintion as to what BF/GF means. If you say I have a friend, that is onething, no body cares if it is male or female. But the added conotation of girlfriend/boyfriend makes a differential. You are stating that this person is of such note as to be reffered to as my girlfriend or boyfriend. see? Example: Most times when people are relating a story, it goes something like this. I have this friend, or female co-worker, guy friend, this woman I have been friends with since like forever....ect... people don't often label boyfriend or girlfriend unless there is something sexual implied.

I am very glad to hear that it went well. I hope for the best for you both. Crazy1

WHAT!?!? Is this fella really in a coma? are you serious?

Telecom, I cound't have said it better myself. You are MARRIED unless you think that means you are only legally able to file taxes together, you might have heard something about cleaving only to your spouse and none other.........

I would never say that swallowing would be a problem, but you have definately made it a concern. If you want kids, the you need to um....well you should have figured that out by now......). Well, I don't know exactly how long a woman ovulates, but for the rest of the time, swallow away!!!

I know that she is not a plus size, but I do love curvy woman with a nice hourglass, it does not have to be some wild proportions or anything like that. If I were to pick a plus size gal, Emme from the E channel if you know her. Or the Brit woman who is a cook, and has ample melons. I will look for some good plus size women to cast my vote for.

If I were not married, I would kill your hubby for that honor!! J/K, but that is one heck of a way to wake up. do you swallow for him? Or let him give you a facial or frost your boobies? As far as that, not really, most weekends we let the kids do their thing, while we do each other. Morning sex is really fun and always makes my day go better.

If you want my ideal, non surgically enhanced woman go to IMDB.com and look for Sophia Vergara. Now that being said, I agree that most models are too skinny, and look on the verge of death by starvation. I like a top heavy woman, but Sandra, I love a woman with nice thighs, and a larger than average rear-end. To be blunt, I like thick thighs and big booty. I think a woman who carries her weight there is totally normal, and extremly lucky to not carry it all in her midsection. I know some women who have very thin legs(albeit nice ones), small to medium breasts, but huge bellies. they look kinda like Santa. Not sexy(at least for me). BTW, if anyone wants to see what I look like PM me. I am always interested in putting faces with names and so on......so if you want to see me, I want to see you, in a truly non-sexuall way.

I have dated all body shapes, and weights. I have recently been informed that I'm a "Chubby Chaser". I was oblivious to what that meant, until my sister in law told me. I have always, repeat ALWAYS found plus size women more attractive than barbie types. I want a woman who is like CL, about a 12-14 or even 16-18. that is what my wife was when we met, and she had more men than her "barbie" competition. She had a friend who wore about a size 6 pants but was a 40G cup(very natural), but her hips, big booty and 38DD's in proprotion kept more men interested. My point is that I think most men like a little more cushin' for the pushin' than uber skinny with no hips, and a large rack.

If I were to draw a moral line for myself, It would be participating in an inherently sexual act with another person outside of my commited relationship(i.e. mutual mastrubation, or even explicit role play conversations). If I were to be on this board and openly discuss my sex life, that's ok, I am not attempting to initate a sexual act with another person. Having relationships(non-sexual) with other persons and being attracted to another person is completely normal. I say non-sexual relations in the sense of you are not trying to involve him or her in your sex life as a partner of any type. Cyber, real, phone, whatever, if you use this person to fulfill some sexuall desire or urge, it's cheating. That's just me. I guess telecom and I are old fashioned but, it's better to err on the side of caution. I would never want to do anything that could hurt my wife, son or myself. Doing things that could damage those relationships will inturn hurt me.

Sorry, but I have to interject here. How is it not cheating? Because you don't phiscally penetrate another person? that is wrong. You are making the very beginnings of an affair on your Long Term Partner. Simply because you are not there in person does not give you an excuse to simulate sex with a person other than your partner. I don't care who does it, If you are in a relationship that doesn't allow for sex with persons outside of the relationship, and you carry on any kind of sexual activity(like masturbation or mutual masturbation) you are cheating.