Mikayla1

I am a firm believer in masturbation I too am happily married, but I enjoy my masturbation. I have masturbated for him, with him, for me, at work, on the train. I masturbate on a daily basis, probably twice daily most days. Some days this includes masturbating with the hb or in foreplay, and sometimes it just includes moi! I am a selfish girl.....I like to feel good, and masturbation makes me feel good. So yes, I do it a lot and I am not afraid to say it! Mikayla

Usually if we are having "masturbation night" I don't touch him and he doesn't touch me, so I don't have to assist him. If I am going to help him masturbate, I would just give him the full-blown blow job. If he is masturbating on his own it is when I don't see him, if I walk in on him in the shower doing it, I take over. If we are masturbating each other it is for foreplay, and unless I want to go a few rounds, which is great, I usually don't want him to go all the way, and even if I did I still would go the whole BJ route. Those are my preferences! Mikayla

I believe that it what "forced fem" is, right?

Good. Then the only thing you have to decide is if you want to tell your bf.

First, did you use protection, because if you didn't you had better address that issue. Get to your doctor ASAP and see about the morning after pill, sexually transmitted disease testing, HIV testing etc. Did you even know this guy enough to know if he was safe to have sex with? If you have ANY concerns about him and a disease, get tested. Second, would this consitute a rape, or was it consentual? You said you were drunk and the next thing you knew he was screwing you...do does that imply your drunken consent? How old are you, how old is he? If this was a rape, you should report it...NOW...Whether you knew him or not. If you said NO, then it is rape. So, think hard about that possibility. Third, if this wasn't a rape, and you knew what you were doing, then it is another situation all together. I don't know about you, but if I cheated on my boyfriend the guilt might eat at me until I told him. It is really up to you to decide what kind of relationship you want with this guy. One that lasts or one that is built on lies and deception. If you care about him, you need to tell him. Especially if this other guy took your virginity and the guy you are with believes you to be a virgin. It is pretty significant. I am not trying to judge your actions....we have all been there, maybe not exactly the same situation, but probably pretty close. My number one priority where you are concerned is making sure you are not pregnant (unless you want to be) and don't have any diseases. I am also trying to discern if you were raped, which is very serious. So, give me some more information so we can deal with this.

I don't want to be nosey, but I am curious...what is it that you are going to do? You did ask for our opinions, and I am wondering, are you going to take any of our advice? Just curious! Happy Holidays to you too! Mikayla

Ok, first....I see where your girlfriend can make the analogy between the mistress thing and not seeing you much, but it is obviously an incorrect analogy and that therapist should have corrected her on it. This therapist doesn't sound like he/she is worth a damn if she (for the sake of ease) is suggesting your gf end a relationship because you are a good dad. So, either the therapist DID correct her on it, and your gf still wanted to bring this up anyway to make you feel bad (people do lie) OR this therapist sucks. Either way, it is not a good situation. I think your gf wants to spend more time with you, and what is wrong with that? Can you work it out? If you love her and she loves you, can you move in together? Perhaps she is waiting for that. Perhaps many of her issues are insecurities surfacing because she feels second to your children - which she should be - but maybe she wants to be included more. As for the sex and the loss of feeling thing. As long as she feels like a "mistress" and not your lover, equal in all sexual things and all things general with you, this will never change. It will never matter how much you love her, how much you tell her you love her, how many orgasms you try to give her, until SHE realizes that SHE is worth feeling good about, then it will not change. She has to get past the mental block that she is just a "weekend fling" with you, and then maybe things will get better. She thinks she is not good enough for you, her comments constantly indicate that. She always feels like she is "letting you down" and you always correct her, but she can't hear that. I suspect she feels like a failure in most things in life and sex is just another big thing. Your girlfriend requires a lot of reassurance. She has a mind block that is so strong she can't enjoy sex. If she was enjoying you playing with her clit BELIEVE ME SHE WOULD BEG YOU TO CONTINUE! She wouldn't care if your cock came out for a second, she would say, "get that sucker back in there and keep playing with my clit!" That is a normal response, not "oh the feeling is gone." So either, a) she is faking the feeling, or she just is NOT into sex or c) she doesn't think she deserves to feel good during sex. Any of those options spell disaster for you dude! I am sorry to be so harsh, I know you love her, and boy have you been putting forth the effort, but things have slowly been triggering alarm bells in my mind. This woman has more than issues, she has a block, and a block that she seems unwilling to knock down! So, now you have to decide once again, how important is sex to you? You keep writing in and asking, but you are not ending your relationship with the woman you admit to having bad sex with. Do you love her enough to marry her and have bad sex forever or take a chance it will get better? Or, do you want to find someone with less hassels and a more stable mind who can say, "put that cock back in my pussy" when it falls out so that you are not left hanging....again.....everytime? the choice would eventually become clear for me! I hope this wasn't too hard for you to hear, but I suggest some serious ultamatums are in order. Good Luck! Mikayla

Howard is right, I get the impression that you are only here to "poke fun" - no pun intended, at those of us who are really here to talk, learn and share something about sex. If you have an actual question, why not articulate it so that we can discuss it? I am sure many people here would love to talk about how things feel in relation to sex.... Mikayla P.S. Hi Howard.....how are you doing, haven't seen a post from you in a while....miss ya!

I am impressed that there are some men on this site that actually realize the value of helping out at home, I applaud you There are very few men that I know that actually realize that when you take some of the pressure off the woman as far as housework, cooking or kids are concerned she gets more horny...it is because she feels valued, loved, appreciated and even less tired! I do believe most women, if not all women, would appreciate and benefit from any help that any man in their life was willing to give them. I also believe, just in case any man was going to jump down my throat here, that if a man happens to be the one staying home, that the reverse can be true. I think that marriage and kids should be an equal responsibility. If two people take care of business, then two people can have time to take care of the business in the bedroom! So good luck to you and I hope you work it out! Mikayla

First, just because you have kids doesn't mean you have to stop the sex. You have to schedule time for sex. Mommy and Daddy's room can be locked, right? Your kids are old enough that you can put them to bed, give your wife a nice bath, then go to your room, lock the door and have at it. A healthy sex life is instrumental to a healthy marriage. Kids can not end the sex life. If they are old enough to sleep alone, then you can lock the door for a few hours of "you time." Second, as far as the period goes. I am not real big on having sex during the heaviest days of my period, but I am more than willing...and I mean MORE THAN WILLING to give my husband a great blow job with some anal play, or even have anal sex. I would be more than willing to open up a little to the idea of sex on my period if he was...but thankfully, he isn't. However, he has needs, and so do I, so my tits can still be enjoyed, my ass can too, and his cock can have a nice BJ. I suggest you nicely get your wife into a routine of regular sex. Then she will miss it when she is on her period. She will say, "boy I miss not having sex." Then you can introduce the other options. Perhaps suggest if she gives you a BJ now, when she is off her period you will give her a night of just her (knowing that she probably will insist you fuck her once she is getting that good oral sex) the point is, you can get more sex, if you approach her in the right manner. Tell her what your needs, wants, and desires are. If you love each other, things will work out! Mikayla

I have actually used one about 11 years ago...it was before they came up with all the fancy, dancy new technology. The idea was the same though....suspend your lover in the air, legs spread for easier and weight free access. Besides the reckless spinning that seemed to happen when I wasn't getting pounded, it was a pretty cool thing. You don't have to worry about supporting yourself, your legs are already spread, your partner's hands are free for other things and it can be adjusted for different uses, anal, vaginal or oral. I actually would be interested in revisiting my sex swing experience now that they have newer ones out there.....maybe I should look into it..... If you have the means, I highly suggest picking one up! Keep Swinging! mikayla

Listen to Howard....you could literally have a whole book on sex, foreplay, anal sex....fetishes, relationships, or any other sex related issue possible if you spent the time to read the site here. Many of us fanatics have answered question after question on all these subjects....and it isn't that we wouldn't love to help again for someone new, it is just that there are so many answers already on the board. If you want, you can buy Howard's book on Amazon....Howard's Hot & Heavy Handbook - $29.95.....no, I am just kidding...but hey, it is worth a shot...I came up with the title...copyright! The most important thing is that Sex is Adult Play...said already by Howard...have fun with it..... Mikayla

I have a small assortment of nipple clamps, and I really like them. I have a few that are just jewelry like, no real pressure involved. Then I have some that are called "Tweezer clamps" they have an added attachment that goes from nipples to clit, if you so desire. These are nice because they are the tension YOU want. I also have the clover clamps, those are a bit too snug, after a while you have to let them off because of the pain. I suggest the tweezer clamps or another clamp which lets you set your own tension. A good friend of mine showed me some online that looked like a thing piece of fishing line attached to a piece of jewelry or a chain, I am not sure if I like the fishing line - makes me think of a clean cut through. Anyway, I suggest you shop around for the lady who would get these. As for piercing...I tried it...I don't suggest it, but I know a few women who have it and they swear it is something to do. For me it just didn't work well! Mikayla

The better sex videos are good, or even the Red Shoe Diary ones. They have sex, but not SEX...as you are wanting. You may even want a mainstream movies that have good sex scenes in them to get her going...I will have to think of some. At the moment only porn movie titles come to mind...oh I know, The Color of Night with Bruce Willis, that has a few good sex scenes in it. Try that first, then move on to the Red Shoe Diaries ones. This should be a good start. Mikayla

Uhhhh, If I were you I would NOT cross contaminate between the ass and pussy and ass and mouth. You can go from pussy to ass but not back and definitely not from ass to mouth. It is very dangerous to get some of that bacteria into your pussy or into your mouth. I doubt you are concerned about diseases, as long as you are only with each other, but I would most definitely be concerned about the cross contamination of bacteria. There can be some nasty infections that can occur if the rectal bacteria gets into the vaginal canal. Think about it, as little girls we are taught to even wipe our butts from front to back to protect from that bacteria, so why would you want to put it directly in there, and way up there I might add! I would NOT do this anymore. Your wife could get very ill from this practice. I don't even suggest cross contaminate use of toys. Some you use for anal, some for vaginal. Always clean them well after every use. This is just common sense. I am sorry to be so harsh sounding, but I would most definitely be careful with this practice, and change so that you are either showering in between the anal and vaginal play, or only go from vaginal to anal. Good Luck! Mikayla

For some reason that story doesn't make sense to me. She is on her honeymoon, the sex sucks, so she says, "Now I am going to get a tattoo!" I think she probably got a tattoo after getting married because she felt like she was out of the grips of her parents, not because she had bad sex. I think that tattoos are not exclusively a sign of sexuality, but I do think that people who have them are more aware of their body as a sexual tool, as they like to ornament it with art. Often people put the tattoo in a suggestive place, as in the small of the back, to suggest a power or to excite only those people who see it. In that manner, I think that tattoos can be a sexual suggestion and thereby tied to sexuality. On other notes, I don't see a corralation between sex and tattoos, other than in many states there is a minimum age requirement for a tattoo, and many people may have had sex by that age. Just my revisited take on this subject! Mikayla

Ok, I am not saying that married women wouldn't be into having a sexual thing with another woman, many are open to this, but you might want to set your sights on a single woman, just to begin with. You don't really want to begin your new sexual career by ruining a marriage, do you? It sounds like you are new to this, are you? Have you been with a woman before? As a 23 year old, you may be new to lesbianism, but I am not sure. Have you been with men before? A little more information might be helpful. Then, maybe some more information on the women you are interested in. Are they older / younger than you. Are they openly lesbian or bi? Have they flirted with you? Things like this would help! Thanks! Mikayla

Well, I think that if you are interested in women and you want to tell them, you would do it much the same way you would approach a man. First, tell her that you like her hair, her smell, her breasts. Perhaps ask if she would be interested in going out for a glass of wine or coffee. Brush up against her slowly. Find a reason to touch her hand. Little signals just to let her know that you are interested in her. For me, bluntness always works too. Whisper in her ear, "you are damn sexy." Perhaps take your hand and run it through her hair. There are endless ways to do this. Do you have a particular woman in mind? Mikayla

My view on this is why stop a good thing! I love to perform and receive oral sex. I am good to go as long as my hb is up for the challenge. Much like your "swap date" I can get very selfish with the oral lovin', but normally if I know it is going on a while will suggest that I get on top of his face and do a 69 or something. I don't believe in just having him down there eating away forever. Sometimes he insists on just eating me and not letting me have at him....and that is fine too. So I would guess most women would agree, oral sex can never be too long, as long as you are wet and enjoying it! Mikayla

I say ABSOLUTELY NO! There is a differentiation between a "girlfriend" and having an affair, both of which are wrong if you are MARRIED! Having a girlfriend implies that your wife knows that you have her, and then therefore you are just getting some on the side. This to me implies that either a) your wife also has someone on the side or your wife doesn't have very good self-esteem. Why share your husband with another woman? On another point, why do you need another woman? What is missing from your marriage that you need to supplement? Surely you don't fancy yourself as such a "stud" that it takes more than one woman to satisfy you! If you did see yourself as such, then you should have never gotten MARRIED! Now, if you have a mistress, I would say that this is equally as wrong, but at least does not imply consent on the part of the wife. Now, I realize that some couples do the "swinger thing" and I just don't get that. However, to each his / her own. My overall consensus is that married people should stick with their spouses. If they are unhappy and can't fix things, then get OUT, don't cheat, and by the grace of all that is HOLY...don'd humiliate and disgrace your wife by insisting you have a girlfriend on the side. It is just embarrassing and wrong for her to be put in that situation in the first place. Shame on you! Mikayla

You know, I am just not a facial girl! I would not be opposed to doing it, if it was what my partner *really* wanted, but for me, I like to feel it going down my throat or pulsating into my pussy! The idea of it shooting into my eye is not really appealing for me. I have had it done to me, by psychotic ex-boyfriend loved to torment me with things he had seen in porn, and facials were just one of the things he enjoyed...I found it...messy, and I am a bit OCD, so that didn't really do it for me. However, as I have stated above, if my loving hb really wanted to do it....well then, OK. As for preference, there is nothing like swallowing down a bit load of cum, or cumming together in a climax like no other. That is MY preference! Mikayla

I think for me the first thing that I notice about a man is his eyes...my husband has eyes that any woman would die to look at. They are what I call 'Wolf eyes' those blue, green, hazel eyes that change color and intensity with mood. Those eyes that you could look at for hours and hours and hours and never get sick of them...that is the first thing I noticed about him. Then it was his smile and facial expressions. If a guy is unhappy looking, sullen and generally just "blah" that is not going to attract me at all. A man has to have a face that smiles. After the face I like a nice ass. Tight, smaller...something to grab onto while having sex. My hb has a nice ass. You know ladies, the kind that looks great in a pair of jeans. that kind of ass. As for hair color, I don't seem to have a preference. My hb is blonde-ish, but all the men I dated before him were dark haired. As for height I don't seem to have a preference either, my hb is 5' 10", but I have dated taller, and much shorter. The man I lost my virginity to was 5', 3" shorter than me! So I think it is more the personality that does it for me. The one characteristic that is a deal breaker for me is intelligence. If a man is dumb, he is not going to make it with me. I can not stand being in a conversation with some man and having him get lost over and over. I am an intelligent woman and I want my man to be up to par with me. I won't accept anything less. So there you have it, Mikayla's requirements for a man. Mikayla

You know, I don't have that toy...so I too am interested in a review. I do know that I can highly recommend any of the dual action toys, specifically the rabbit! That sucker is absolutely, positively the best vibrator in my toy chest. I have tried many....I mean many...and that little baby will do it for my in 10 seconds or less every time! I highly recommend it. Hey, I wonder if they need a spokeswoman? Mikayla

I think that beauty and sex appeal are on the inside as well as on the outside. I do think that how you feel about yourself is instrumental in feeling sexy. I am not overweight, but I struggle to keep my weight down. It is a daily struggle to keep it off. I know that if you feel good about yourself - no matter what your weight is - that you will feel sexier in the bedroom. I also know that when you exercise your body produces hormones that cause you to be hornier. So if you are even taking brisk walks you should reap the benefits of this hormonal influx and feel much more sexy just by the sheer concept that you are doing something positive for yourself and you are having the hormonal boost. Many women are uncomfortable with their bodies after childbirth. The boobs sink, the c-section pouch is there...the stretch marks..whatever it is. These marks are badges for our children, so there is nothing we can do but try to change what we can and accept what we can't. There is no shame in a stretch mark that came from childbirth. There is no shame in boobs that sag from age either. Things happen. It is up to us to feel good about ourselves - no one can do that for us. Mikayla

I am not sure about where I draw the line for my hb. I feel like if he is doing this and I don't know, then it is just that...I don't know. If I found out I suspect I would be hurt because I am such an open sexual person and would wonder why he would have to go elsewhere to talk about sex. On the other hand, it would be hypocritical of me, as I am here talking to many people about sex - but I am not having "sex chats" with people and am very careful not to cross that line - because I know I would get emotionally involved if I would do that. I think if he were doing what I am doing, sharing information, giving opinions, even sharing fantasies, then it would be OK in my book. If he were talking to some woman about fucking her, then I would be hurt. I suppose at the heart of it is also what telecom and Tor are saying, if your partner would be hurt by it, maybe in that respect it is more like cheating. However, my personal line may be a little further than my hb. He may be mad if he found me on this site. So it is still open to interpretation I think. Mikayla