Tyger

Read, learn, post, enjoy! Glad to have you here!!

A farmer in Culpepper, VA went to the local branch of Wachovia Bank to borrow money for a new bull. The loan was made and Banker Bill, who lent the money, came by a week later to see how the bull was doing. The farmer complained that the bull just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. Banker Bill suggested that he have a veterinarian take a look at the bull. Next week Banker Bill returned to see if the vet had helped. The farmer looked very pleased. "The bull has serviced all of my cows! He even broke through the fence, and bred all my neighbor's cows! He's been breeding just about everything in sight. He's like a machine!" "Wow," said Banker Bill , "what did the vet do to that bull?" "Just gave him some pills," replied the farmer. What kind of pills?" asked Banker Bill . "I don't know, but they kind of taste like peppermint."

I'm a sub, but it is one of my fantasies to go all out DOM!! Once at least......

I've eyeballed the first book a few times in the bookstores, and haven't gotten it yet. I have read the second one, and, when I am in the mood for vampire romance books, Amanda Ashley does a great job with them! I have several books along these lines. I only keep the REALLY good ones that I will read again. Anne Rice being one of my favorite authors, and having a few Amanda's as well.

I've been ponderin' on what I wanted to say to this post, especially where I am not overly experienced in this area. When participating in light sub/dom play, I'm usually the sub. Would you characterize me as weak, abused, and wanting that sort of "abuse"? Hardly. Everyone's made some great points. However, I just want to add that there is a HUGE difference between a REAL LIFE submissive female that cows down to everything her man, and others tell her to do, and a FANTASY-life submissive (male or female), that enjoys the freedoms of letting go their power, authority, and are there to feel "released" enough to please someone, and not care who may see it. And, to just stress again, when playing in this type of sex-play, the subs really are the ones with the "power" so to speak. They can put the breaks on whenever they feel they're uncomfortable or scared, yet still enjoying their "release" from real life as well.

This massager boasts of being “G-Spot Perfect”, waterproof, hypoallergenic, vibrates, and made of medical grade silicone. Plus, it’s my favorite color purple! Resembling a thin lobster claw, I thought that this innovating designed item would be interesting, to say the least. Care of this toy is easy. To clean: warm soapy water, dishwasher safe, or even sterilizing it in boiling water (of course without the bullet in it) works for this toy. The back of the insert has instructions on use, and cleaning, plus a link to an instructional video for this toy. It comes with a small bullet, and the batteries already in it. Unwrap the bullet, and unscrew the cap to get the small pink piece of plastic off, that prevents contact of the batteries and button, so there won’t be any accidental powering up in the package. I push the button, and the vibes come in one setting, moderately strong. Remember to dab a bit of (water-based) lube on the bullet to get it back out of the toy once you’re done using it, for safer clean up and preservation of your batteries. This toy is meant for you to insert, and then rock against it, hands on, or hands-free. Trying this toy 3 separate times, I have yet to find a rocking position that works for me. Maybe it’s my shape, how my clit is, or just the design of the toy, but it doesn’t seem to rub me the right way at all. The toy is a bit too stiff, especially in the middle, to rub the g-spot or the clit in the right way for me. I do enjoy firm toys, especially when going for the G-spot, but this toy was a bit TOO firm for me. Wanna rock?

Many times, we, as Reviewers, get items that have either not reached the site shopping pages yet, or is a trial item, sent to us to see if it's something the site should offer. So, this item may not be up yet. Best thing to do, is just keep a copy of your review handy, (I have a folder of posted, in progress, and awaiting posting Reviews in My Documents), PM Meg to see if it's a trial item or an item awaiting posting on the shopping catalog on the site.

I will agree with you, to a point.... Yes, it's a fact that sex toys aren't necassary (omg, did I just say that??), and therefore, these wipes aren't either. It's not like food, water, or shelter, of course. However, I would not suggest using regular wet wipes on sex toys, at least on a regular basis. Many (but not all) wet wipes have alcohol in them, which can dry and damage many toy materials. If you needed to use one in a pinch, I don't think it'd hurt, so long as the toys were washed off ASAP afterwards.

Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies: 1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before! 2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?" 3. "Can you hear me NOW?" 4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" 5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married." 6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?" 7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..." 8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!" 9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit! 10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity." 11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?" 12. "God, now I know why I am not gay." And the best one of all.. 13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"

TECH SUPPORT Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?" Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?" Customer: "It's on the door of your business." Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open." ***** Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?" Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about." Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?" ***** Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia?" Operator: "Doesn't the product name give you a clue?" ***** Caller (inquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe) "If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?" ***** Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please" Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no such listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?" Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off." ***** Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?" Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland." ***** On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on." ***** Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop." Customer: "OK." Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?" Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'." ***** Tech Support: "OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?" Customer: "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?" ***** Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?" *****

Lubes….you can never have enough, in my opinion. And this wonderful gel adds to my growing supply of lubes! This particular 3.8 oz. bottle is Lemon Drop, and, lemon being one of my favorite flavors, I was ready to try this stuff out! It’s water-based, and therefore, safe to use with all toys and condoms. It’s also non-staining, & edible. Of course, you won't want to DRINK the stuff down if you get thirsty, but, it's edible so long as you're reasonable about it. The bottle has an airless pump at the top, so no spills, and no waste. You just push the top, and, similar to toothpaste in a pump, you get as much as you push for. Plus, it guarantees freshness with each pump. Love the bottle dispenser! Unwrapping the safety seal at the top, and put a tab on my finger. Felt it, and it felt very slick. Smelled it, and it only had a hint of a lemon scent to it. Tasted it, and there was a pretty good taste of lemon on it. However, when my hubby used it on me, he said that he couldn’t really taste the lemony flavor on my skin. I tried it on him, and I was able to notice a SLIGHT taste, but not anything that I could say YES that IS lemony. Kind of disappointing, but in the end, it did what it was suppose to do-lubricate. I was very impressed with how slick this stuff stayed. I did notice that it does leave a slight sticky residue afterwards, since it does contain saccharin & aspartame. Nothing a quick wash or shower won’t take care of! Great lube, but the taste could be a bit stronger, for my tastebuds at least. Got Lube? Pick your flavor!

The bullet is bliss!! Great review! Gotta have 'em that's for sure!

I was SO excited to get this double penetration harness, since I’ve been eyeballing (ok, drooling over) this item for a while. Since I am overly “anal” when it comes to accuracy, I chose to measure each cock, just for you! One boasts of being 6”, and they didn’t put how big the other one was. So, by my measurements, the smaller, non-vibrating cock is 5.5”. The vibrating one is 7” long. The smaller cock is attached directly to the harness, and is for the wearer of the harness. The long cock is removable from the harness, and the base of the cock can also be used as a suction cup on the side of the tub or shower door. It hung on pretty well (so long as the surface or base was wet first). I believe they’re made of rubber, so any sort of lube will suffice. The faux leather harness is very comfortable, soft, and stretchy, to a point. The elastics in the back are very accommodating and comfortable too. I put the side snaps on the smaller setting, because, when the harness is a bit tighter, there is more control, and the little one stays in place a bit easier (and strong vaginal muscles help too….go Kegels!!). I’m a size 12 right now (and “hippy”), this was very comfortable, and with extra room as well. Plus, since it’s “pleather”, the toys can get washed easier too. It’s recommended to use antibacterial soap and warm water on this item. The wire of the controller is on the longer cock, goes from the base of the cock, under the harness, and out the side. It takes 2 AA batteries (not incl.), and has an easy to use slide-button that offers 5 levels of pleasant vibrations to the recipient. There are lights on each setting, so you know which one you’re on. When the vibes are on the stronger levels, it can definitely be felt by the wearer! And, as another added bonus, since the larger cock is removable, you can also put different toys in the hole to replace it. Variety is the spice of life! I was alone the night I got it in the mail, so I thought I’d try it out solo first, just to see how it felt, went on, and so on. The smaller cock up inside me, I get the rest of the harness on, snapped appropriately, and looked at myself in the mirror. The larger cock sits right above the tip of the pubic bone, right where a real man's cock would sit. I am very proud being a woman, however, seeing me with a cock on the outside was very exciting, and, totally turned me on! Who knew? I switched on the vibes and was very turned on and impressed. I played with myself, and “my” cock, visually stimulated. I wanted to try it out, and see how it “felt”, so I dug out my husband’s pocket pussy, lubed my cock and the pussy up, and fucked that to my own orgasm. I was shocked how excited and wet I became! Then came the night that my hubby was home, and knew I wanted to try that out on him. I didn’t push, since but a few months ago, he was anal-phobic (aw hell no!), to go from that to LOVING anal sex, I still didn’t want to make him nervous, especially where these cocks look pretty real, by their color, shape, feel, and size. But, he wanted to try it out, and so I lubed the cocks up, got it on, and we lubed him up as well. We prefer silicone lubes for anal play, since they seem to stay slicker, longer, so that’s what we used. I first did him doggie style, and then he sat on me. He rode my cock, pushed my other cock against its base, and I jerked and licked his raging hard on too. I’m so proud of both of us! We both came hard and fast once we were able to get into the hang of role reversal! He told me that I may have to try it out again very soon! I would definitely recommend this awesome duo for those experienced and brave toy users. We will definitely use this item over and over again! Double Your Pleasure, Double The FUN

I go with what my fellow posters have recommended, and would like to add that the Kama Sutra book has many many many illustrations of different sexual positions.

LOL Want2know, thank ou for the vote of confidence! I don't think I've ever been accused of being "shy" though......

Maybe, Val, you and Thur should do "couple's reviews", having both POVs, like the other couple does too! It's always great to hear both sides of the story from a product! I was wondering how this item would work, so glad that it worked SO well!!

Congrats!!

The use of artificial hormones, can, indeed, cause dryness. As well as the hysterectomy it's probably a lot to do with it. There is nothing wrong with the use of lubricants. Sex should be FUN, not painful. You may be tensing up, and therefore not lubricating because of your apprehension of possibly painful sex. It will be hard, but you really need to try and let those thoughts go, relax, breathe deep, and enjoy your feelings. Mystrykittn: as far as having a "selfish" night, there is nothing wrong with a masturbation night. I doubt that he will think you're being selfish, especially if you have him enjoy the "show".

No, I don't think that you're weird or "odd" because you haven't dreamed of your wedding day. To be perfectly honest, I never did either. I mean, I had guys that said they wanted to marry me, but, I am one of these extreme realists, and I like to think about things that I KNOW will happen, and soon. Needless to say, I'm not a lot of fun when my hubby wants to "dream big" as far as the ranch we want to have, or a different vehicle. I can be a real downer. I have wish lists, to a degree, but they're goals I know I can achieve in the near future. It could be you're the same way. Or, a live-for-the-moment kinda gal. You're young. Don't worry about it. There is nothing wrong with being a bit "selfish" with your time and youth. A freedom of coming and going, and not being responsible for answering to anyone (except within the law of course). Not that I'm knocking marriage, because I'm not. But, take your own time to do what you want now. There's no rush to settle down and get married. Waiting longer may be a key in making marriages work out more. My first marriage happened when I was 26, never should've done it, but, live and learn. When I got engaged, until he and I SET A DATE, I deflected questions about what we were going to do for the wedding. I don't like disappointments (not that I know that anyone does), and I like things tangable. Only when a date was SET, did I start to plan. I had no real idea what I wanted for a dress, or bridal dresses. I knew the colors, and that was about it! LOL I really had no clue. I had no idea what kind of flowers I wanted even!! How awful am I?? My SIL helped with the flower ideas and makings of the bouquets, since flowers aren't my "thing". Anyway, when anyone asks "Oh, wouldn't you just LOVE that for your wedding??", just simply reply, "I guess we'll just have to wait and see when the timing's right".

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of the Granville Presbyterian church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week. The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw a little old lady put the distinctive pink envelope in the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her. "Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated. "Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and I give some of it to the church." The pastor replied, "That's wonderful, how much does he send you?" The old lady said, "$10,000 a week." The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful; What does he do for a living?" "He is a veterinarian," she answered. "That is an honorable profession," the pastor said. "Where does he practice?" The old lady said proudly, "In Nevada. He has two cat houses in Las Vegas and one in Reno "

Depending on how long ago, and how "he dealt with it", the molestation could very well be a big factor in his lack of sex drive. Just because one SAYS they dealt with it, doesn't always mean that their subconscious has as well. I'm not trying to sound all Dr. Phil-ish, but, if he has issues in the bedroom, AND was molested as a child, the likelihood of it still being some sort of an issue or a block in his sex life, is very high. I hope he's able to find the help he needs. He has to be the one to go seek and get the help. You have to want to help yourself, before you can help others.

Gotta have some BLING!!!! I'm like a ferret, I LOVE shinies!!!

Out of the box comes Polly the Clitty Diddler. Pink & cute, this jelly bird doesn’t wanna crackah, it wants to please ya! This toy doesn’t only brag about being a strap on toy, with clit AND labia stimulators, but also a string of anal beads for a tail. Hmmm, very interesting! I haven't had a lot of luck with strap on clit stimulators before, so, I was a bit skeptical of the whole thing, but I definitely was up for another shot. I inserted my 2 AA batteries in the separate remote compartment, plugged the cord into the controller, and got the buzz on. 2 settings to choose from and both are pretty strong, which is good for this girl that prefers the stronger vibes. Since the bullet is Polly's belly, you get the most direct vibes just where you need them! For stimulation, you have Polly's beak, then nubbies on the belly, AND the anal string! 3 is my lucky number! The nylon straps are adjustable, which are great, comfy, and easy to put on. I get Polly strapped on, and then, with some doubts, I put some lube on the string of multi-sized balls that make up the anal stimulation string. Those are also made of jelly, and I thought that they’d be too flimsy to go inside without help. Boy, was I wrong! I lubed it up real good, and was able to push the larger ball at the end first, and then the smaller one slipped in, and so on. I was able to get 4 balls up inside of me, with the toy strapped on. I turned on Polly, and let her peck away directly at my clit, just as I like it, while feeling the vibes slightly, thru the anal string. I’m still fairly new to the whole anal stimulation world, and these beads were not uncomfortable or hard to insert at all! They felt very good, in fact! Color me pink & impressed! I was able to walk around a bit, before I just had to sit down, and have a clit orgasm, and, upon trying to get up again, Polly was insistent that I have another, so I obliged! Such a good bird! Give yourself the Bird!!!

I would say start off small, with a beginner's anal kit, with plugs, or whatnot. Something small, diameter and width wise. With a little bit (but not too much) flexibility. If a toy is TOO flexible, it won't go up there without A LOT of work. Gradually easing into it, again with LOTSA lube is the best and easiest way. Remember, if you feel PAIN, then stop what you're doing. There will be DISCOMFORT, which some people confuse with PAIN. DISCOMFORT will be your body tensing, feeling pressure, and a totally natural feeling to PUSH instead of relaxing and letting the toy go UP, instead of OUT.