Tyger

Going Out: 1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. 3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church. 4. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home. Entertaining In Your Home: 1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist. 2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table ... no matter how good his manners are. 3. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. Personal Hygiene: 1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's own truck keys. 2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money. 3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.

Please note that Texas is the only state with a legal right to secede from the Union . (Reference the Texas-American Annexation Treaty of 1848. We Texans love y'all, but we'll probably have to take action since B. Hussein Obama won the election. We'll miss you too. Here is what can happen: #1: Barack Hussein Obama becomes President of the United States , Texas immediately secedes from the Union, and closes its borders. #2: George W. Bush could become the President of the Republic of Texas . So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic? 1. NASA is just south of Houston , Texas . We will control the space industry. 2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States . 3. Defense Industry--we have over 65% of it. The term "Don't mess with Texas ," will take on a whole new meaning. 4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that. 5. Natural Gas - again we have all we need and it's too bad about those Northern States. John Kerry will have to figure out a way to keep them warm.... 6. Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications--small companies like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AND, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Miconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, etc, etc. The list goes on and on. 7. Medical Care - We have the largest research centers for cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world, as well as other large health centers. Dallas has some of the best hospitals in the United States . 8. We have enough colleges to keep us going: University of Texas , Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston , Baylor, UNT ( University of North Texas ), Texas Women's University, etc. Ivy grows better in the South anyway. 9. We have a ready supply of workers. We could just re-open the border when we need some more. 10. We have essential control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc. 11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an Army, but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an Army in 24 hours if we need one. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call the Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over Chuck Norris and a couple of Texas Rangers. 12. We are totally self-sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs, and several types of grain, fruit and vegetables, and let's not forget seafood from the Gulf. Also, everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food. This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have. Now to the rest of the United States under President Obama: Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Obama will be able to drive around in his big 9 mpg SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes. You won't have any TV as the Space Center in Houston will cut off satellite communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes, but since Mr. Obama has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas as long as you survive the 2000 years it will take to get enough heat from Global Warming. Signed, The People of Texas P.S. This is not a threatening letter - just a note to give you something to think about! SLEEP WELL TONIGHT THE EYES OF TEXAS ARE UPON YOU!!

Please remember to put the NAME of the item in the first line of the subject, and then something like "yummy" on the second line of the subject's title, this makes it easier for customers and other reviewers to find the item more specifically. I've used this stuff, and I LOVE it! Most Kama Sutra products are fantastic anyway! Thanks for the review!

Gotta love that glass! Love the pink bumps too. Glad to know it works so well!

Wow!! I love the chocolate boots!! However, I can't do heels. I'm too much of a clutz, and besides, I don't go anywhere. But I hope you're able to sell some!! Good luck!

I would take out each toy, and wrap it seperately ASAP! Even if it's a shopping bag (plastic), like from the grocery store, k-mart, wal*mart or whatever. If you use lubes, and not clean them 100% off, you can damage other/different materials just by having them rest against each other. I've actually destroyed a cyberskin dildo, and a couple of jel-lee ones due to lube issues, heat, or just having them rest against each other. They need to be individually stored. I know it's more time consuming, and space consuming, but, think of sex toys as an investment to your pleasure, and they need to be taken care of properly. Also, if any have batteries, take the batteries out each time. That way, you can have one get left on, or the batteries corrode inside the compartment, possibly ruining a fave, or burning your skin.

Sounds like a lot of fun! (hear the sarcasm dripping off that sentence?) I hope that things start going a bit more smoothly now!

I agree with you Korn, 100%. It's hell. I refuse to go out for "deals" like that. I find enough deals during the whole year to make it worth my while to keep my ass home. I've worked retail for over 15 yrs, and had to deal with many a Black Friday. I worked at a Jewelry counter for almost 3 yrs. Thankfully, I was in middle management and one year I had the "authority" to jump up onto the desk in our area, and yell out "You people need to step back and stop crowding the people AT the counters. There is a pregnant lady here that is getting crushed and I WILL have all of you arrested if you don't STEP BACK NOW!!! We will NOT wait on ANYONE that is being rude, physical, or threatening, so calm down and STEP THE HELL BACK!" They did. We were in downtown Austin, so this wasn't a hugely "rude" thing to do retail wise. LOL But I didn't care even if they had written me up, people were getting hurt. I also refused service to about 10 customers, and when they called management, I also called Security, and they were all escorted out the door by some REALLY BIG people! LOL I don't think people truly realize how foolishly inconsiderate they get! No present is worth hurting someone or getting killed over. Gawd, remember the BS that happened in the 1980's with the Cabbage Patch Kids? Jeez! It's like that every year now! What a trend to set! I will say that the conflict at that Toys R Us was a possible gang affiliated incident, however, who in their right minds go into a TOY STORE with real GUNS??? Kids are in there for crying out loud. If you're foolish enough to be in a gang, keep your gang shit with your "posse"/homies/crib/whatever! I want to make my daughter happy, but I don't want her to think that Christmas/Yule is the time of year where you get EXACTLY what you want, when you want it, and that's what it's all about. Nope.

I have a couple of Jel-lee toys. It depends on the toy's design, but generally, I like it. Now, I will probably catch hell for saying this, since it is recommended usually to use a condom with it, but, I DON'T. I always wash my toys in warm water & with antibacterial soap before using them. Then I put it on the plastic baggie either on my nightstand or on the bed, since Jel-lee is very "grippy", and will grab a hold of hair and lint better than some lint brushes I own! LOL So, I don't see the difference between doing that, and having sex with my hubby, since his cock is porous too! LOL I've never had a problem with any of my toys this way. I will recommend that you store it in the plastic bag it came in, or a larg sandwich bag if you got rid of the packaging. If you have the box it came in, put it in that as well. Wash before AND after use. Allow to air dry on a smooth surface, standing up if possible, before putting it away. I have also noticed with Jel-lee that there is a strong odor (that New Toy smell) with a lot of them, and has staying power. No, Jel-lee is NOT silicone. On the box, it should tell you if it's not compatible with silicone lubes however. If it doesn't say anything about it anywhere, then it should be safe to use with silicone based lubes. I tend to stick with all water-based lubes as much as possible, however, just to avoid any "can I use this, or this?" while I'm tryin' to get my O on! LOL Plus, water-based lubes clean up easier (usually), IMO.

*HUGS*

I would say a lifelike dildo with a good suction cup at the base, to start off with, if you're looking for a good tub-toy. Don't get confused, there are several "brands" of the lifelike skin-feeling toys. There's cyberskin, RealSkin, UR3, and many others. Basically, they're all generally the same, silicone based toys (don't use silicone lubes with them). Silicone can be made to feel like skin, soft & supple, and porous like real skin. My personal preference, is using a dildo and a clit stimulator together, to really get myself off. Toys will warm up to your body temp after a few minutes. You can also warm the toys up by rinsing it off with warm water first too. It can take one years of trial & error before finding the PERFECT toy for them. It's all about personal preference, what gets you off, and how you want to achieve that (fast & furious, or slowly working up to it, or....or.....or......). Anyway, good luck! I hope this helps!

I have this kit, and we love it! I would start off slowly with plugs first, so that he can get use to something going UP there, and then add vibes later. My hubby has tried a lot of stuff, and he prefers no vibes, but it's a personal preference.

OK, you're letting this get to you mentally, and then it sounds like you're placing the blame on what he does. He can't help how YOU feel. If he is respectful, as you say he is, and doesn't make inconsiderate comments, then it really is on YOU how to handle it. I mean, it's like saying "I don't believe in hunting" yet eating the meat the hunter brings....KWIM? Also, please remember that, even though the women on porn are what they're suppose to be: sex objects, they work out a lot, get their bodies enhanced, and have learned how to accentuate not only themselves physically (also with makeup artists right on hand at all times), but also what sells porn....lots of descriptives (oh fuck my pussy), moaning, screaming, and looking at the camera. It's all like theater. Like how in opera, the makeup seems a bit extreme, but even in opera makeup, it's done so that the people waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay in the back rows can see and enjoy the facial expressions. And, like opera, it's NOT real life. Please don't get offended by what I am about to say, because this is meant as an observation, however, it also comes across as a bit controlling. You sound like you want to control his fantasies, thoughts, and how he views all other women. You are in for a HUGE let down if you don't realize that this is impossible. You can't control people's desires, thoughts, even their actions. It's not his fault this bothers you, especially if he's being as respectful as you say. The only way you really should feel threatened by his looking at, even simple pics, is, if they're like porn stars (and not local women that he's viewing, because, to me, that's more personal and in your face), or models, then you have every logical right to feel threatened if he starts viewing those instead of being with you. But, from your posts, that isn't the case. You said yourself that you don't feel as pretty or can "compare" to these women. Darlin', not many of us can stand side-by-side with a porn star or model and feel hotter than hot. We're wired wrong. We will compare our thighs, boobs, arms, hands, butts, eyes, face, nose, neck, whatever we can, just to give ourselves a reason to feel less than adequate. It sucks. However, what I've learned to tell myself, is that if my hubby WANTED to be with a stripper (which he has dated in the past), porn star (we live near Houston, so it's not a big stretch to find them), model, or buckle-bunny, then he wouldn't have committed himself to ME, come home to ME, or love MY body. He's with YOU because he wants to be. He cares for you JUST as you are. Try hard to stop obsessing about it, because all you're doing is stressing yourself out. Find something sexy, blow his mind (and other various parts), and just enjoy being with him.

Congrats!!! Whoo-hoo!!!!

I am aware that I can be a PITA to get gifts for, even though I love almost anything! LOL I would love an inexpensive MP3 player (but not an iPod) in purple.......I'm not really asking for anything this year. Or maybe the ESSE (wink wink ROB!!).....

Adult Riddles Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What's a mixed feeling? A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q What's the height of conceit? A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What's the definition of macho? A. Jogging home from your vasectomy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex? A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q.Why is divorce so expensive? A. Because it's worth it! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What is a Yankee? A. The same as a quickie, but a guy ca n do it alone. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common? A. They both like a tight seal.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? A. Their balls are just for decoration. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q.What is the difference between 'ooooooh'and 'aaaaaaah'? A. About three inches. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: What's the difference between purple and pink? A. The grip. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? A. It's not hard. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? A: 45 pounds. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A: 45 minutes. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Breasts don't have eyes. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: What is the difference between medium and rare? A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? A . They don't have balls to scratch!

It sounds like he's associated "wild" sex, with his past, like with strippers and hookers. Though, what he fails to connect with is that hookers get PAID to be as wild & kinky as their customers want/they feel comfortable with. Chances are, in RL, they're not like that at all. Strippers are women too, and some can be kinkier than others. My step-sister use to be a stripper, and one of her exes told me she was very boring in bed & he did all the work. Anyway, it really does sound like your friend's BF sees her in a more meaningful way, like you said, "pure", however, he doesn't seem to even want to think that she wants to have a bit more Flavah in their sex life. If she does, then he may think that they don't have a long-lasting relationship, that it's just all about the sex, like his past flings. I agree, talking/communication is key here. Of course, she's not setting up a Dominatrix's dungeon or anything, but she can bring the toy out (why should HE be the one to ask to bring it out, just DO it!), or TELL him to do something that she wants him to do. If she stays without trying to make things better, than she's just settling for less than she wants, and will probably grow to resent him. Tell her that she needs to insist on them talking about, making compromises, and try new things, since this is something she wants in her/their lives. Best wishes!

I'm going to repeat some of the questions that others have already asked, because, well, they bear repeating! How "new" is this relationship? How old is this guy? Now, men usually mature slower than women do. If he's close to your age physically, mentally I'd subtract 10 yrs, going by his behavior. He's talking to you like he would some of his guy friends. The whole comparing thing is what young guys in groups will do, not something that you do with a woman you supposedly care for! This whole "well, you should want to sleep with her too" is very insensitive. And then he's also being hypocritical when you pointed out that you could do the same thing with guys, and he said "well, I'm not going to sleep with guys, & neither should you". The same could be said with you & women! Again, as I mentioned in another post, I am a woman that LOVES porn, and is bi-curious. However, if YOU don't feel comfortable with the thought of another woman, then that's OK too! He shouldn't say that you should want to have sex with a buxom blonde on a porn just because HE finds her attractive. Hell, my hubby's taste, and MY taste in what makes a woman beautiful are really very different! Porn is NOT for everyone. And, there are lots of different KINDS of porn! What one person likes, another may find distasteful and disgusting. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Especially when you've experimented, given stuff a chance, and have come to the conclusion that it's just NOT for you. There's NOTHING wrong with that at all, and don't let him tell you any differently. Knowing how you feel, he should keep the porn to himself. You've tried watching it, and that's great! Unfortunately, with his immature "gotta score" attitude, his crass remarks have made porn distasteful & a sorce of "competition" to you, so of course, you're not going to want to watch it. If you tell him straight out that you find his remarks immature & hurtful (those words, don't pussy-foot around it to be nice), and he continues to do it, then you need to rethink this "new" relationship. How mature is he going to be, or how mature IS he, when you go out? Does he do that, say, in a bar/club, when he's with you? Does he point out all the gorgeous women and make you feel like shit? If so, dump him, cuz he's not going to change, darlin'. He's an insensive ass, as Poon's said, and not worth your time & emotions. He may think he's cute, or it's a game, but you don't like it, and you need to insist that he stop. If he won't, well, again, rethink this whole thing. Don't settle for less than you deserve or less than you want, just so you can say you have a boyfriend. As Poon as stated, porn is a fantasy land. There's nothing wrong with reading/viewing things that help bring out your fantasies, so long as the viewer can keep in mind that, in fact, it IS fantasy, and that it's NOT real. In fact, I was watching an HBO show, with a famous porn star getting interviewed (Tera Patrick). She says that at home, she is VERY VERY vanilla when it comes to sex with her BF's! She was like, "C'mon, if I fucked like that in real life, do you know how TIRED I'd be all the time??" So, yes, even enhanced porn stars, in real life, are just as normal in their sex lives as you & I are. They just GET PAID to have sex on film. It's a JOB to them, usually not a way of life, though I'm sure there are exceptions. Their breast enhancements are actually tax deductions, as well as the long nailed manicures, body waxes, and hairspray! Kinda puts things a bit more in perspective, huh? I wish you the best of luck, stand up for yourself, darlin', you deserve to be treated better than you are being treated.

So, everyone, not just the ladies, can you name me one thing that you've seen in a porn, that you would just LOVE to do/try......c'mon....I'm waaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiting!!!

As one of those females that actually has her OWN porn collection, and I don't care if my hubby has his stash too, at least, from my point of view, men probably just like watching the SEX itself. Again, men get turned on mostly by what they see. Seeing a voluptuous woman that has some mad fucking skills, well, it's a big turn on for them. Each man is different, of course. Some may fantasize about doing that woman, or just love to watch people fuck in the most abstract, ridiculous, and strenuous ways possible. Hey, that's healthy too! I love watching both men & women get it on. I'm sorry you get jealous about porn. It sounds like you may have some self esteem issues. You say that you don't mind if he watches porn, but get jealous that he may fantasize about them. Darlin', you can't have it both ways. What needs to be learned, is that, the majority of men, while they may fantasize about another woman here & there, and it's unfair that you think of that as "competition". It's not. It's completely normal, and nobody, men or women, should be penalized for their fantasies. With your jealousy streak, you probably don't WANT to really know what's going thru a guy's head while he's watching porn. You'll find yourself comparing yourself to women that usually are enhanced and make sex their living, and that's just torturous to you and to your SO. You can learn to be a fantastic lover, with your SO, learning what pleases HIM, and what HE likes, as well as train him how to please you in all ways. That's the best thing to strive for.

Yep, have had it happen to me too.

I think that your current BF is the bomb!! If he loves your body just as it is, then you should run with it!! Most men don't even see the stretch marks. If they do, the see it as a badge of motherhood that they don't mind at all. I had a man that I thought I needed to stay super-thin for. The GF he had a few yrs before me, was like a size 3. I could never be that thin, but I was able to stay a size 6 (120 lbs) for 6 yrs. Now, looking back on pics I had, I was perhaps a bit too obsessive of my weight, which is a big time consuming thing!! I'm 5'9". and I was too thin. I see that now. When you're with a man that constantly critisizes you (at one point, in HS I was like 100lbs and my BF at the time told me I was too fat), you tend to believe THAT more than you do a positive compliment. Women suck that way!! LMAO We tend to believe the negatives alllllll to easily, and just kind of brush off the nice compliments. My hubby loves "hippy" women. I tell him that he's hit the jackpot with me!! I have the hourglass figure I've been told I shouldn't hide. Yes, I want to drop a few pounds, however, I do show off my c-section scar (to those that ask to see it) with pride and love!! Be proud of your curves & baby-scars!!!

I loved the last line!! Thanks for sharing.

So, you can add stuff too (not just one answer). It can be sexual or not..... When do you feel the Most Happiest? "I feel Most Happiest when my DD tells me she loves me in her sleep."

Oh, one other thing that I hate, or at least find distracting, is super-cheezy effects......like if it's suppose to be a sci-fi based story line, they really need to stop with the 70's effects.....it's just baaaaaaaaaaaaad!!