jaxxy

2 funny Blush! There was another skit similar to that on The Man Show about excessive sweating in the ass crack while playing basketball and the answer to the problem was Manpons LOL

Little Sally came home from school and with a smile on her face and told her mother "Frankie Brown showed me his willy today!" Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut" Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's mom asked, "Really small, was it?" Sally replied, "No...salty!"

I guess my joke was so good it had to be reposted LOL.

Hmmmm and not one protest towards me.... interesting

Jax; That comment is most imappropriate, and should not be repeated. If you don't like what I wrote, fine. If you have something nasty to say, do it with a PM. Don't put it on the forum. I am afraid that this will generate a lot of protests towards you. You are very new here. I have been around for more than 3 years. That is how I got to be a " Guru". I am also a moderator here. I am a lawyer by profession, and have been criticized and threatened with death by a lot of people who have the rap sheets to prove they are also stupid enough to try to do some thing about their threats. You don't want to be trading barbs with me. I get paid to be nasty. Howard So this is what gets sent to me by Howard on a PM.....A typical laywer blowhard!!!

Remove the stick from thy ass Howard

yaaaaa.. duh!! LOL

I think you're the father of one of my kids > > I think you're the father of one of my kids. A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says, "Hello." He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids." Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "Oh no, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?" She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No. I'm your son's teacher."

Lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide. The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacists eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license, and they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT have any cyanide!" Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, hell, you didn't tell me you had a prescription."

A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked, 'How much money do you make a week?' A little surprised, the young man looked at him and replied, 'I make $400 a week. Why?' The CEO then handed the guy $1,600 in cash and screamed, 'Here's four weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back.' Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, 'Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?' From across the room came a voice, 'Pizza delivery guy from Domino's.'

A man walks into a bar with a small box in his hands and sets it on the bar top. The bartender walks up and asks what is in the box. The man says: "Tell ya what. I'll show you what's in the box, but if you've never seen anything like it, you give me a free drink." Bartender says: "Sounds fair." The man opens the box and there is a little guy in there playing a piano. The bartender exclaims that indeed he'd never seen anything like it and gives the man his free drink. The bartender says: "Well what is the story behind that?" The man says: "I was walking down the beach one day and found a bottle. I picked it up and rubbed it to read the label when a Genie popped out and said he would grant me one wish". The unbelieving bartender says: "You still have that bottle." The man produces the bottle and hands it to the bartender and the bartender rubs it. Sure enough a Genie pops out and says he will grant the bartender one wish. The bartender says " Great! I'll have a million bucks." The Genie says: " Done." He snaps his fingers and returns to the bottle. A few minutes later the bar starts filling with ducks... floor to ceiling, ducks, quacking away. The bartender yells to the man, through all the quacking: "Your Genie is hard of hearing! I ask for a million bucks and he gives me a million ducks!" The man yells back: You're telling me? You think I asked for a twelve inch pianist??

Now THAT'S funny!

Nice!

*groans* LOL

Three Brazilian soldiers Donald Rumsfeld briefed the President this morning. He told Bush that three Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq. To everyone's amazement, all the color ran from Bush's face, then he collapsed onto his desk, head in his hands, visibly shaken, almost whimpering. Finally he composed himself and asked Rumsfeld, "Just how many is a brazillion?"

I think it's an innocent enough question too Howard. Stop getting your panties in a bunch. I can list a few women who do it for me and it is quite the mix of nationalities.... hard to choose which is sexiest. If I had to pick.... South African, cuz that is where Charlize Theron is from LOL

HOLY CRAP!!! Best one ive read so far and by far! Well done.

Your first time was a successful time! Great story!

I don't know Howard, maybe it's a fear you have. Talk to your therapist. I'm done with this conversation, have a nice day.

Well that answer settled it... way too analytical, I did'nt even have the patience to read it all.. yawn. So just do what you do. I just can't agree.

Well about a million thoughts went through my head when I read nurses outfit, but I guess my most eloquent response would be..... YES! WOOHOO! dam girl anything you can think of will work lol.

LOL Howard, Therapist?? Relax a little and quit being so analytical, maybe he just does'nt like them touched for god sake. Fears?? Sometimes a dislike is just a dislike. When you are having sex with your wife and she comments on something, do you get your notepad out and make her discuss tribulations in her childhood?

Well at least you are talking about it and it sounds like things are being figured out...... as long as he doesnt stop touching your nipples everything is great right? LOL

I wouldnt worry too much about the having sex with a little girl problem that has been brought up. The school girl look is a very popular sexy look and I'm sure that when your husband sees you in it he's not going to be thinking of little girls. You are both adults and playing! Have fun!