Thanks for all of your responses. They are well thought out and I appreciate it. I think his curiousity and fantasy is just what we are talking about. On the 3 times it has come up over the last 9 mths he has always said "I don't know if I would like it". When I have asked him "do you want to see me with another man" he says "absolutely no". He says it doesn't matter to him if we never try it. When I told him that it could lead to us breaking up, he got really upset. And I am the one who brought in new things to the bedroom, toys, costumes and some porn. So he says that he thinks I would get into it. I know he is satisfied and very happy with me. What I don't want is for it is an unsatisfied husband! So here is one more bone for you guys to pick on....lol. We discussed it 2 times months ago and dropped it, like in April because I said I can't do it. The reason I brought it back up is because he was cleaning out his email in front of me. I think he was showing me that he was not interested in anyone else. We met on Match.com and he cancelled his membership that he paid for in advance etc. Well he cancelled another one. It was for the swingers network. I asked if I could look at it and there he was.. as a married man the year before. According to the last visited this site date, He had not been on the site since March 05, we met in Nov 05. It was them as a couple looking for another couple. So the story goes, he knew she was flirting with the idea of cheating and she would go out dancing all the time. There marriage was in trouble. She asked him to look into the whole swinging life-style thing. He did but within a month she moved out with another man and they never acted on it. He doesn't lie to me. And I know becuase I don't always like the truth. So I believe this is how it happened. So did he just get his interest sparked then and having a hard time giving up the fantasy? afterall he was in a bad marriage at the time, I am sure it seemed appealing. Or is it that he wants to make sure I don't get bored in the relationship? Or did he want to swing and she didn't that caused the break up? come on counselors.. what you think now?