tdriskel

Clearly it is the QUIET ones you have to watch for... and I love any story that starts in a boat. Excellent story.

I think I might need a spotter to do that one!! Sounds interesting, but the dismount could be painful.

Well, I have to say that all I really needed was him to show the vibe to me-- that was sexy enough. (Despite my love of toys, I have been shockingly low tech recently-- who knew!?!) We picked our seats and sat in one of the few two-seats-only rows. Plus, I snagged a blanket as soon as we got on the plane. Actually, I surprised him too-- did you know that Victoria's Secret carries a very few crotchless panties now? No batteries or potential for being added to the security list, so it worked perfectly. We didn't try the bathroom in the plane because I think the man in front of us went about 15 times in 4 hours and once he banged on the door!! (That cooled my enthusiasm.) I think the flight attendant had a clue what was happening during our "snuggle session" of fondling, but he just smiled and asked if we wanted another blanket But, I AM embarrassed to admit that I did consider pulling him into the family bathroom in our airport and bolting the door and having my way with him before we even went through security. But-- the mom in me couldn't let me block the family bathroom in case someone actually needed it. I probably could have done it on the way home-- 10 days away will blunt that whole mom thing a bit-- but by then I was really cold and Kennedy airport has very gross family bathrooms. I am going to have to get some BenWa balls. That would be another ingenius way to get him started before we even land at the airport. We might miss the plane with application alone. I will remember the plastic only advice-- thank you for thinking ahead. That's why I love you guys. Where else could I ask the question how to travel with my sex toys? I thought about it, and the place for our trip wasn't the big thing here (though it was NICE). It was being alone without rugrats. It was not being overloaded with being touched and asked questions and doing stuff so that I could really relax and concentrate on him and me and breathing and sleeping and having orgasms. (Note to self and others-- important to ask the crew on sailboat charter if they are at least a little hard of hearing~~ could be a bit of a cold blanket if not. Thank God, we had someone who said "if you need us, knock hard on the door, because we can't hear you! YEAH!! ) Actually, the crew was great and I think we could have practiced bondage on the deck if we wanted... as long as I didn't wear my shoes on board. Also, I did find out that you can store lubricant in smaller bottles to go into your little ziploc. The amount is up to ?3oz?, so you could get a little bottle of astroglide for your bag. No one actually looked very closely at my stuff, just that it was in a bag. I must look harmless... HEHHHEHHHEH! Hope the tip helps someone to enjoy a lovely flight.

I am so glad that you are thinking through all of this stuff. I can see both Howard and Mikayla's points. I really grooved on tall guys with dark hair and blue eyes in high school. My husband isn't so tall, but he DOES have blue eyes and had dark brown hair. That is my other point. I got married when I was your age, and now I am with that college boy who is suddenly 40 with greying hair instead of dark brown. We have both changed so much. I was a big breast girl who has now had reduction-- yeah, you can find bras, but it would be nice to not always need them! Plus, the whole herniated disc in my neck was horrible. So, even great breasts at 21 can be a pain in the neck, pun intended, at 36. No one person is perfect-- which is a relief, because what a pain in the ass would they be to live with!! You took a step toward being the mature, sexy guy that women really like when you not only thought about your own motives but also realized that your issue was pretty shallow. ALso, whoever said you should never tell someone that they need a boob job is correct. Imagine someone told you that you needed a penis enlargement! OUCH! Breasts are part of what make us women and we tend to take any comments fairly personally. Hope you continue to think it through and turn into that sexy grown up instead of ... well, not a sexy grown up. Good luck!

Howard, that exact thing-- talking about everything and not being a jealous grump-- has made me the rock star wife at my husband's work. Last week one of the guys said, "yeah, we met his friend Tina when they went to lunch." So, I turned around and said, "Did you give her the birthday card I got for her, or did you forget?" Later, his friend couldn't believe I was not only not pissed but also that I was giving one of his female friends a birthday card. He said his wife would be killing her with a hatchet. (WTF???) Then, he wanted to know if, since I was so nice and open to female friends, if I was interested in a threesome??!! My husband laughed until his face was purple when we were snuggling on the couch later and he was telling me about it. In the past, we have always had great trust, but I didn't always get to hear the funny stories. Now I know more about his everyday stuff and now I get the jokes immediately when he tells them. That said, with three kids and a job in the public, sometimes I just want no one to touch me and for no one to talk. The trick is how to tell him that-- it was a not-in-the-bedroom talk where I just finally blurted it out. He doesn't get mad, unless I don't want to snuggle and don't tell him and just seem grumpy instead. I think having little kids-- who need to touch and be touched all the time-- makes you have way more overload to touch than if you don't have kids. Think about how often someone touched you when you were home on a day off before you had kids, and now after. It was a 500% increase for me. Plus, I have way more to do. I have to consciously disregard the TO DO list and just BE. Sometimes I don't do so great. Sometimes, I am that rock star wife.

Just an update for y'all... My husband put the bullet vibe--with battery separate-- in his carryon next to his iPod and no one said a word. Very good for fun in-flight, since we were in a row by ourselves. The vacation was FABULOUS! I recommend Puerto Rico for anyone who wants to escape with or without kids. We kayaked to a small island next to a big one and felt like we could have been shipwrecked. Many sailor/pirate fantasies fulfilled. Thanks for your advice, guys!

The other thing you can try is to be completely yourself (Not that anyone was saying to be false-- they weren't.) Don't be obvious with the seduction. Just be you. My husband is a bit goofy, so we spent a lot of time sitting on the swings and walking on the beach and eating snow cones. Listening to her and giving her your attention will be a huge turn on. Plus, my experience was that the sweet guy was the the one to keep. The guys who had the seduction down pat were good at it from practice. Like her, I was a little gun shy and the off-beat stuff was so sweet and tender. We also watched 3 movies in a row one saturday at the theatre, because it was cold outside and he just wanted to sit in the dark and hold my hand. (Now he admits that he was working from comedy to very sexy thriller, but I didn't pick up on it at the time. I was just glad we were on the way home...) Hope this helps... you sound very sweet. Oh yeah, and I love to get flowers also. But, as you could guess, I am a wildflower girl instead of roses. Good Luck!

Gosh, James, first off, welcome. Second, you are not a weirdo. There are several areas of this site that will discuss that fantasy and, in fact, one article by Mikayla to help you decide if a threesome is for you. I think that wondering about something is not wrong. If you and your partner want to try something, it is not wrong. If you push an idea on your partner that she does not want to do... in my opinion, that is wrong. I am certain that there are many others who will reply and help you more, but I think I saw your post first and I didn't want you to wonder any longer. Healthy sexuality isn't always just the missionary position on Saturday nights only-- even if that is what you learned as a kid. In fact, when you begin to share your fantasies with your partner and you both have more fun (Howard says that is why it is called "sex play"), now THAT is healthy sexuality. The cool thing is that everyone's fantasies are different. I hope this helps and that someone way better at this will also reply soon. Good luck!

Well, I think that I have great tits-- both before and after breast reduction-- though now they are very perky WITHOUT a bra, so that does lend to less clothing. I think my eyes and smile and ass are probably all about even. Since the trainer kicks my butt occasionally, I would say my abs are rising on the list.

Just one other thing to think about. I know you want to have a baby, but just because you ovulate one month DOES NOT mean you have to get pregnant that month. The meds will help you ovulate, but it will not make your marriage or these issues take care of themselves! So, keep taking the meds but use birth control until you get this sorted-- or at least consider using it. (I know, my friends say I am too freakin' bossy! Sorry!) Maybe talking outside the bedroom and taking away the pressure of making a baby will help you guys to figure out what the heck is going on. If he is really religious, then ask to go to talk to the youngest and coolest of your ministerial staff. I have posted before that one of my dearest friends is a pastor and she would probably send him to this site or one like it for advice and "supplemental help." Getting pregnant and all the stuff that goes with that is a way that lots of people avoid discussing issues in their marriage. There is a reason that it is common knowledge that having a baby doesn't fix a broken marriage-- LOTS of people have tried and proven it isn't very successful. The stress of having a baby and keeping it alive and fed and watered for the first year is HUGE!! I don't know that your marriage is broken, but is does sound strained and you sound like you don't want it to be broken-- hence the advice. Also, if he is 5 years older than you, he is only 25 per your info, so you guys aren't exactly going to be raising kids on your social security. My husband also worried about having kids later because his dad was an "old dad." What we discovered is that his dad was probably an old dad from the get go. We had our first child right before he turned 32 and our last when he was 36. (Having older parents does tend to mean you don't space them as far apart by necessity!) He is such a kid himself, that he will never be an old dad, no matter how old he is. He is more involved and silly and dedicated to our kids than most of the younger dads we know from soccer (he coaches) and church (he teaches sundayschool for preschool) and our family (12 grandkids under 10). Getting your PCOS issues sorted out is good for you, but you don't need to get stressed about your clock ticking out just yet-- not at 20. (Again with the bossiness, I know. sorry!) I know you were freaked about thinking about begging for good oral and a baby in one sentence, but that is the reality once you have a baby-- when mine were really little, I would pray that they would sleep just long enough so we could both have one orgasm, please GOD.

Emma Holly is a great writer with many and varied and so great stories and sex scenes. Also, Laurell K Hamilton is really good also-- both series are good, but you have to like vampires or supernatural characters. Zane is also great. There are lots of good sites that rate erotica. I actually ended up at this site accidentally while doing some research for writing some erotica. Much like the great ideas I get from here, I get some good ideas from my books also!!

I will try to do something like that but it's just hard, I am home with my kids all day, can't afford a babysitter and the free ones I do have are limited. Hubby works 2 jobs, and I work part time myself. Time and funds are limited. But I will think about what I could do and a way to do it. It IS really hard to get started and go out and do stuff. No matter what your circumstances. I can usually get a diet coke at a McDonald's with a play area and make it last for an hour or so while my kids play. Depression does often make you feel tired and if you have anxiety, you may feel anxious that you just feel so damn tired. This is all normal. Antidepressants aren't for everyone, but you said before that they were helping you to see clearly enough to deal with your other issues. That is a good way to look at the use of the meds for a finite period of time. No one says that if you take the meds for six months that you will never be the same or be happy or have an orgasm. Sometimes, med and therapy treatment help you so you can have enough energy to enjoy sex/deal with issues/go to McDonalds to sit in the sun and watch your kids play. Talking to your doctor is great. Write what you would say if you could take all the time you wanted, then print it off and give it to your doctor. You don't have to be a brilliant speaker to tell them how you feel. Have you discussed the sexual issues you are dealing with? Sometimes that is a topic that gets pushed back until "later," but it sounds like your self esteem issues and lack of voice have contributed to some of the issues with sex, so maybe it is all connected. Also, the fact that you are resenting things with your husband may seem illogical-- why can you resent someone not knowing something you never said outloud-- but resentment can be frustration with your own behavior or his response to it that ends up feeling like "man, I am so pissed about this". When you have anger and you can't identify why, that doesn't mean there isn't a reason to be angry, only that you need to figure it out. Also, emotions are not always logical, so if you are feeling resentful, you can feel that. I agree that your husband probably has no idea why you are resentful and may not understand why the hell you are pissed that he can't mindread, but he clearly cares about you if he is trying multiple ways to help you orgasm. My heart really goes out to you. It is lonely sometimes to be at home with only little people to talk to and if you have years of denying or stifling your feelings, it could be hard to speak up that you are feeling crappy or pissed or whatever. I agree with Tyger that experimenting and planning on it not being Hollywood-perfect is a great idea. (But, no matter how bad I feel, I want to have sex, so if that isn't you, it may feel like one more job to do in the day!) Howard did give you a great pep talk. He clearly has had to deal with issues and has done this in a great way. Your first goal doesn't need to be to finish a graduate degree. You can just try to leave the house for 60 minutes each day. That's a first goal. Then, when you are good at that one, you can decide on the next one. I hope things are better each day.

Also tell them, that at this age, anyone touching them on their parts that isn't suppose to (like the doctor, or parents when checking for injury or sicknesses) is inappropriate, and that there are NO secrets that parents should not hear This is a great point. A good way to broach this is "No should ever touch or look where your swimsuit covers unless they have permission from your mom or dad. Also, even if someone is allowed to check you where your swimsuit covers, it should NEVER be a secret. Your mom should know every time someone checks you." Kids need black and white rules. At this age, developmentally, they don't get shades of grey. Also, by having these conversations, you decrease GREATLY the risk of early sexualized behavior and abuse. Being parents that engage in sex play or watching porn or whatever doesn't make your kids more likely to be precociously sexually active. Especially if you set limits such as " That is for grown ups like mommy or daddy. Kids don't get to pick those things." (This is in response to the folks who have recently been "found out" by their kids with toys or porn.) (This also works for drinking and smoking-even if I don't love that choice much-- but I draw the line at drug use-- NO ONE gets to pick that as a good choice!!) Having a discussion about normal growth and development and sexuality also does NOT make your kids more likely to experiment in other ways-- it just makes them know and understand more. I am totally dumbfounded by the folks that think that kids will not think of sex unless we mention it to them. HOW F---ING STUPID CAN YOU GET??!! It feels good-- of course kids are curious and will figure the whole mechanics out. Forgive me if I rant. This is something I feel so passionately about and rarely get to say exactly what I think!! I just see how much education and honest discussion would change the way teens view sexuality. I wish that every person who said that teaching kids about sexuality and normal development was wrong had to later talk to those same kids when they were really freaked by wet dreams and periods and erections and possible pregnancy. Again, I digress. Thanks for listening-- or at least not lecturing me for getting on the soap box. IF God wanted us to be asexual or to only have sex to make babies, he would have not made it feel so good or made multiple orgasms or .... God, I could go on, but even I am tired of this rant...

HI! You can have a talk right now-- discussing their bodies and the changes you and probably they are noticing. They probably have concerns and questions but don't know how to ask. I really love the American Girl book titled The Care and Keeping of YOU: the body book for girls. This is pretty age-appropriate and talks about body stuff including body odor and hair. I think that after you tackle that, you can answer what questions they have about sex. The secret is to only answer what they are asking at this age. IF they want to know where babies come from, sometimes saying "from their mothers uterus." is enough. You may not need to explain intercourse and delivery if all they want is a straight-forward answer. I also like the book Where Did I Come From. I think it is still in print. It is very straight-forward but doesn't get too clinical or anything. For girls who are early bloomers, I think the important thing is to let them know they are normal and to help build up self-esteem because they are likely to get attention from boys that they are unprepared to handle just yet. If you have a good relationship with your pediatrician, they may recommend some resources, and you can find some at the American Academy of Pediatrics website. I see kids everyday in my office that are so scared because of misconceptions regarding growth and development during puberty. By asking this question, you are proving that you are a great mom who is willing to cover an uncomfortable topic if that is what is best for your child. If I didn't answer your question or you have more, post again and I will see if I can think of more. Good Luck and keep me posted how the discussions go! (I have a 3 year old and I know this day will come and with my own kiddo, it makes me a little nervous!) P.S. to above. Breast buds develop about 12-24 mos before menses USUALLY, but as you noted, this is not an exact science. Pubic and underarm hair is a bit more predictable-- girls typically won't begin menses until they have a fair amount of pubic hair and breasts that are progressing past the bud stage. If you are seeing progression in hair or buds, it may be time to invest in some supplies, especially some to hide in the backpack for school so no traumatic events happen.

Uhhh--- I don't know THAT answer. I know I may have to try that last scenario at home, but I don't know how or when you progress to more. I guess the first answer would be when both of you want to progress. I think there are some articles on the various types of bondage, etc. Not nearly as scary as the movies make it out to be according to the articles, so probably would be helpful if your wife was "not sure" again. (I sometimes print stuff out and leave it on my husbands desk with a "for discussion soon....." note.) Yeah for you guys!!