komana

I also have a huge problem with jealousy, and it's the one thing about me that my hubby can't stand. All I can say is that I have actually been doing what Tyger has said: take it one day at a time, find something FANTASTIC about yourself for the day, and if you can't think of something, MAKE ONE! Wear those favorite shoes, put on your most flattering outfit, and don't say a word fishing for a compliment. Do it yourself! Look at yourself at every reflective thing you can find (elevator doors, windows, mirrors, lakes, whatever!) and tell yourself that you are amazing. Sometimes that's just what it takes to get yourself over the low self-esteem hump, even though it sounds totally narcissistic. The other huge thing is to remember that you were apart for a year, and he came back TO YOU! I did the same thing, spent our engagement year in an LDR, and I just have to keep reminding myself that even though he was at a college campus, with tons of beautiful girls, he still married me! Even if he were to stray, he'll keep coming back to me, and if he doesn't, then he doesn't deserve me. To loosen your tight grip on him, do like thurisas said, and go shopping for him, pointing out good looking women. Stoke his fantasy fires and get some of your own back by telling him "Man, she's hot. I'd do her." Any guy hearing a hetero girl say she'd "do" another girl says it's amazingly hot even if you'd never follow through. And adding one more thing that you know makes your BF hot for you is yet another thing to get you over that self-esteem hump. Hope it helps!

If she's willing to talk to her gynocologist, there are some lower-dose birth control pills that may (or may not) lower libido a little less than the "full dose" ones do. I know that my gyno warned me that when I started on the pill, I might experience a decrease in libido (luckily, I didn't!). She could think about switching to something like Ortho-tricyclin low, mircette, or yasmine/yaz, to name a few. I'd also try to get her to read some of the articles here, and see many of Howard's posts: Sex is Adult Play Time! Hope that helps

In a guy, the "soccer type" really does it for me: not too tall, good legs, athletic looking. Great eyes or great lips are awsome too. I don't get turned on at all by guys who are really built. Ladies should be curvy! I agree with the majority of the posters here I'm just over 5' tall, but you can't get an hourglass figure without having some junk in the trunk. However, I think the sexiest woman alive is my sister, who is 5'4", and fluctuates because of a medical condition between a size 8 and a size 14. Whatever she wears she makes it suit her body style (nothing so tight that it looks like she attempted to pour herself into it and some spilled out), and whatever she wears, SHE WEARS! That's probably my biggest turn on in a woman, that go-get-'em, I look terrific in this outfit sort of panache. Other than the not liking that supermodel thin look, anyone wearing a great outfit well will turn my head (guy or girl, actually).

If you'd like to try out corsets, but dont' want to spend the cash, quite a few "junior" clothing retailers (Charlotte Russe, Hot Topic, Body Shop, to name a few off the top of my head) carry styles that range from $20-$50. Of course, to a true corset afficianado, these wouldn't qualify, as they have plastic boning and generally won't reduce your waist size by TOO much. However, they usually hook up the front and lace down the back, do provide that "hugging" sensation and remind you to sit up straight, and look fantastic over jeans, under a suit jacket or cardigan, or with your sexiest pair of panties I'd definitely say that I feel sexier wearing a corset, and it makes me hot wearing one to a party with my husband, so that he can take it off when we get home

How great That's the first thing we bought as a couple for our apartment too.

Yes, I'd love an erotic books forum That said, I've been recently stuck on Jaqueline Carey's Kushiel series. The stories themselves are fantastic, but the main character in the first trilogy is an anguissette, a god-touched masochist who really does find pleasure in pain. There's a lot of bondage/S&M stuff, which, although I don't think I'd like to the degree she describes in her books, seems to get me all hot and bothered anyway. Set in an alternate Renaissance Europe, where France (Terre d'Ange) was peopled by the offspring of actual angels, it's a great story of betrayal, oaths, overcoming adversity, and Love, with a capital L. The motto and religious precept of Terre d'Ange, after all, is "Love as thou wilt." I agree with Mikayla, most romance novels are just too, I don't know, cheesy, with their big strong men, wilting women, and lots of flowers on the front cover. The covers for all the Carey books, to make them easier to find in the Scifi/Fantasy section, are of different views of the heroine's back, in various stages of dress/undress, with a black thorny rose tattoo.

Thanks for all the advice everyone! We had a nice talk a couple evenings ago, and he said he'd work on it, but was feeling too stressed from work at the moment. He's made progress already though... almost felt like he offered the excuse that they were getting ready for a big push on his work project "just in case" he didn't feel up to trying something new. I feel like i'm in whittibo's situation, just with less weight of years. The good news is that I got him to unlock the door when he takes his morning shower (he said it was a holdover from college when his roommates were downright rude about privacy) and he's been very happy to be "surprised" several mornings Now I just have to get him to talk to me about picking out a toy or two, since I want to get something we'll both enjoy Just wanted to let everyone know!

Never actually had sex anywhere but bedroom and shower (we're workin on being more adventurous), but I used to give him blowjobs when we were on the road from a twice monthly appointment. I'd get flustered whenever a semi would pass by, never sure if they could see through the tint on the windows or not, but it just added to the fun

About 4 months after we got married, my husband and I were waiting to pull out of a parking lot when he sort of looked at me out of the corner of his eye and said "So, you know, what would you think if I asked you to do a threesome with me? There'd be, you know, all sorts of rules, and we wouldn't actually have sex, just the three of us, you know, pleasuring *mutter mutter*... well, what would you think?" We had had a long discussion several weeks before about fantasies, and this had come up, and I guess I had been open enough that he thought we might be able to act out some of them. I told him I wasn't too sure, but I was intrigued, so I asked him to talk to me again in a few days. He did, we talked, and set up all of our "rules" for the night, and then he popped the bad part... the girl he wanted to include. He had met her during the year of our engagement, while we were living in different states, so he knew her more than I did, and said she was trustworthy, so I went along. We talked to her about it and she actually agreed. (He was pretty certain she would, I had no idea whether yes or "hell no" would be the answer.) I do have to say, I got two amazing nights out of it: the first when I agreed that I'd do it (probably the most romantic "thank you" sex he's ever initiated ), and then the night it actually happened. I got a little bit nervous, but his fantasy was basically twofold: first, having himself and another woman being completely at *my* command, and then having us turn the tables on him and sort of dominatrixing him (is that a word? it is now *rawr*). She was a bit of an accessory, and knew it going in, so I really had no reason to let jealousy make me so nervous. Now the bad stuff... In a committed relationship, a threesome is VERY hard to pull off successfully - not the actual planning or execution, but the aftermath. To make a long story short, I managed to convince myself that he had fixated on her, even though she got into a relationship a couple of weeks after we had our FFM. This jealousy on my part nearly tore the marriage apart, and my husband lost his friend. We went through a very rocky period of nearly a year because I was almost always mad at him at the back of my mind, for the feelings I assumed he still had for this girl. We finally finally finally talked about it, and resolved the issues that it had brought up. So to sum it up: It really was like "vacation sex," almost a gift from me to my husband for playing out his longtime fantasy. married + threesome = good thing ONLY if you are not the least bit the jealous type. otherwise, married + threesome = AWFUL.

Hi all, I just want to start out by saying "Thank you" for the creators and moderators of the site; you manage to keep things really clean while talking about a "dirty" subject, which is perfect for all of us "too timid" people out there. My question is really for the guys out there, because I have been unable to come up with a solution in my feminine little head. My husband was raised by his grandparents, and seems to adhere to a more strict moral code on sex than is usual for guys today. Oddly (given his upbringing), he wasn't a virgin when we got married, but he wasn't very experienced either. We got married after dating for 4 years. We had decided as a couple when we first started dating not to have sex if/until we got married, but we played around a good bit. We were doing the LDR thing for the year of our engagement, and things got almost completely cold in the physical part of the relationship. When we got married, things were good for about a week (on the honeymoon), but after that, sleep was about the only thing happening in the bedroom every night. We've been married almost two years now, and I'm afraid the habit is nearly set in stone that we don't have sex but about 2-3 times a month (on average). I've always wanted sex, but I don't know how to go about asking him about it. It seems that he has a lower-than-normal libido than most guys, and I don't want it coming across as a criticism. Any advice on how to get him to open back up about sex?