MystryKitten

Not any time soon, but someday I would like to do photographs because it is my dream to become a photographer.

I've definatly been in a similar situation. I was a virgin not too long ago and one reason I was scared to lose my virginity to my current boyfriend was the fact that he was 'huge', as he has to wear magnum xl condoms. When the time came that I felt ready enough to have sex I was on top the first time, and I really recommend this postion as Howard did. I could go at my OWN pace and I controlled how much of his penis I wanted to take in at a time. Took me a good 20min (which we probably should after stopped after 10min) to get his penis in all the way but this was due to the fact that I was not relaxed hardly at all, and not lubed up enough either. Before your first time make sure there is a LOT of foreplay to get you relaxed and each other excited, extra lube on hand, and patience. If it hurts too much, try again another time. Sex definatly gets better the more you do it. And trust me, your vagina will get used to his size! It all takes time. good luck!

Just thought that I should add in that Im the sixth girl he has slept with, and that he is five years older then me. Dont know if that makes any difference but I dont think its inexpirence, persay, but Tyger I think you are right in saying that some of the girls probably lied about their sexual satisfaction. Also, a couple of the girls were more expirenced then he was and probably already knew how to get satisfied to the fullest. I must be the first girl to tell him I'm not getting off during intercourse though, or else he wouldnt have brought this all up. I will most definatly take your tips Howard, and probably email my bf the important parts. I dont care if he doesnt want the tips, hes getting them! lol. He difinatly needs to realize I love his penis, but that its not the only thing I need to order to orgasm. Thanks to all three of you for your help, I've taken your advise to heart! ~MK

Most of you may have read my post in the 'ask a sexpert' section about me tensing up during sex which made it uncomfortable for both my bf and I. Thankfully, this isnt the case anymore as this weekend I have learned to relax a lot more, and I think now my body has gotten used to intercourse, and learned to enjoy it a lot more. (yay me!) The problem NOW is that I can't orgasm during sex without the help of my boyfriends hands or something stimulating my clit. Last night, after a long love making session (I had almost orgasmed while he rubbed my clit, and he didnt orgasm at all because he had been trying so hard to get me off that he lost interest) he lay next to me after taking off the condom and said "It almost seems pointless." I reply "What seems pointless? Sex?" "Yeah. I mean if you cant get off without the help of a hand or a toy whats the point?" "Oh Baby! Its not pointless! I enjoy sex, I love the thrusting and all the movement and knowing that YOUR being satisfied, you saw how relaxed I'am now." "Yes you did a very good job this weekend." "....ya know about 85% of woman need DIRECT clitoral stimulation during sex. Period. Its just how it is....But you want me to be able to get off with just your penis right?" "Yeah. I mean I can do stuff for you before and after sex, but its not the same as when its during sex." "Does that make you feel inadequate?" "A little." "Oh sweetheart, its not you! Ya know I think we just have to find whats best for the both of us as far as what postions get us off best and things...maybe we just need to expirement more. Ya know Im not the only one with this problem. A friend of mine has been having sex with her bf for a good 6months now and shes never orgasmed, but she doesnt care about that! She just loves the fact that she can be so close and intimate with her boyfriend." "*shrugs*" "Im sure it just takes practise." "I guess..." We cuddled a little and then I asked him if he was okay and he said he was just frustraited. 'At me?' I asked. 'No not you. Myself.' I kissed him and told him its not his fault, and to not be so hard on himself. Then we went to sleep. I don't understand why its so imporant to him that I get off with his penis! Ok, so I do unsterand a little of why he is feeling how he is, but I mean as long as Im finding away to get off he should be happy right? I love his penis inside me, it definatly improves orgasm and makes me feel so close to him but no position we have tried seems to come in contact with my clit! We have tried missionary, cowgirl, backwards cowgirl, and a few variations of doggie stlye. Sometimes in missionary it seems the penis is getting more direct contact, but its never consistant contact. So I just dont think that it really is possible for me to get off with just intercourse alone. I need more. So I dont know how to reasure my boyfriend that its not his fault that Im not getting off with his penis. I dont want him to feel frustrated and inadequate because then it also makes ME feel bad! Him telling me that 'sex seems pointless' made me feel like I'm not a very good lover. I've tried to make him understand its not his fault, but no matter what I say it doenst seems to help. Am I doing anything wrong? How can I better reasure him?

Reading stuff like sex toy reviews gets me going to!!! lol

Actually Howard I do have a SO and we just starting having intercourse and although I havent been able to orgasm during sex I assure you that during it and while my SO is giving me oral etc, I'm not silent in anyway lol. ~MK

I've had a few insidences. When I was around 13 or 14 my parents didnt like the door being locked on the bathroom incase something happened to us kids while we were showing. I always did anyways because I was masturbating with the shower head! A few times my mom or sister would knock on the door wanting in while I was in the middle of it. I'd finish off when they left. Now adays though they respect my privacy and always let me keep the door locked! And believe me sometimes Im still afraid of someone hearing me, or coming it, BUT what I do now is: 1. Always keep the shower running, even If Im masturbating on the toilet. 2. Keep the fan on. 3. Lock the door! 4. Turn on some music!! Even through you can hear yourself and your toy, they cant hear you!! Through the years Ive also trained my self to be almost 100% silent while orgamsing alone.

Thanks Ginger J, that was most helpful!

ok thanks! can someone delete the other post of mine? It got on there by accident as the board said something like 'board being flooded. please wait 30sec to post' and I dont think you can delete a post if its been submitted...

My older sister came back to live with our family for a couple months before travling to India a few years ago. In the first month me, my mom, my younger sister, and my older sister started our periods around the same time! The waste basket in the bathroom was always full but it was quite funny. Anyways to your question, orgasms can indeed help ease period cramps, as well as stress, and headaches as I've discovered! This is also due to the release of endorphins that your body sends out while 'in action' and after the orgasm. My cramps used to be horrible as well! Ibprofun didnt work for those extra awful ones, and Id have to lie in bed squirming in pain, or lay my head on my desk during school and squint my eyes in pain. (Really sucked when they sprung up at me during school.) After I started using birth control though, my really bad cramps have stopped, and my periods are a little lighter. If they are really that horrible, and are effecting your life like they did mine, I would suggest talking to your doctor about getting on BC, if you are already on it, there may be a different problem going on.

Ya know, I deffinatly wondered that to!

So I've seen a lot of abbreviations on the Too Timid sight and oddly, even though Im an IM master and know most codes (like lol, ttyl, etc.) I dont know the ones on here! So can somebody clarify what abbreviations such as SO, or DH mean? I know there are loads others but cant think of them all, so add more that you know of please! Thanks!

Also you have to know that a person can get an STD from just giving oral sex, as well as even recieving it (though that is less likely). Sperm and vaginal fluids hold STD's and if someone is giving you oral, they can get an STD by swallowing or by having a small cut in their mouth which can allow small traces of those fluids to pass though. So sometimes, its more of how many people a person has been 'sexual' with then how many people they have had 'sexual intercourse' with to try and figure out who the STD came from. Hope this helps a little.

Well you and I are just about on the same page! I deffinatly love skinny guys. I have dated others out of this range, but I prefer the slender ones and I have been with that body type more then any other. When they wear girl pants its to dye for, I love a good butt on a guy! Muscualr arms are great, and yeah over-built is a turn off for me as well. I love LONG HAIR on a man, omgggg I just find it so sexy! *drools*

That really sucks Leia! Couldnt you tell your parents a 'white lie' and not tell them whats really in the box? Or maybe even you could go to a local sex shop and buy one and hide it in your purse and then they'd never know. Or you could even buy something that 'vibrates' but is not an actual 'vibrator' like an electric toothbrush or a gentle electric back massager! I've known people to try both these things (I myself using the toothbrush) and they work pretty well! hope this helps you out!

Thankfully it only took a month for me to heal after the surgery and the gyn even checked me out a month after the surgery and showed me where my new vagina was, so Im thinking its definaly just his size and the fact that my vagina is fairly 'new' so to speak. I definatly would LOVE to have a ME night but I just dont want him to think that Im being self-indulgent and only thinking about myself. Which, knowing how caring he is I dont think he'd think like that. Like I say, he really wants me to have fun during sex, but I'm going to be really nervous bringing up the idea because Im shy! But I know he'd listen as he wants to know any ideas I might have about new things to try and such... My (first) new toys sould be coming soon and Im going to practise with my new simple vibrator and maybe that will loosen me up a bit. And I really hope they help improve foreplay (and, now that I think about it, foreplay should probably be TWICE as long as it is) the next time I see my BF. Oddly though, he doesnt like the idea of me using them on him I just hope I can get him to change his mind! He did give me oral long enough to get me to orgasm before sex once or twice before, so I suppose the MORE orgasms I have before sex, the more relaxed I'll be? p.s. love the 'hubba hubba' you added in!

My hair is one because the colors are always changing (even tho its plain black right now) which makes me happy every time I dye it, and I get a lot of compliments about it to! I would also say my lips as they are not thin but not too full either.

SORRY THIS POSTED SO MUCH, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!

My hair is one because the colors are always changing (even tho its plain black right now) which makes me happy every time I dye it, and I got a lot of compliments about it to. I would also say my lips as they are not thin but not too full either.

My hair is one because the colors are always changing (even tho its plain black right now) which makes me happy every time I dye it, and I got a lot of compliments about it to. I would also say my lips as they are not thin but not too full either.

I suppose my body still is adjusting to the fact that it has a vagina. My bf did finger me a lot before we had intercourse but a penis (especially his) is far bigger then a couple fingers. I did tell my gyn that I wanted sex soon and she told me even after this surgery that it would still hurt the first time and I think she might of mentioned waiting atleast a few months before trying anything, which is what I did. Last night my bf got me really turned on and gave me oral for a few mintues to 'get me relaxed' and 'warmed up' We did it in doggie style this time and I was completely ready and all lubed up and everything, and then his penis wasnt even half way in when I gasped and seized up like a corpse! Afer a minute though, I was able to calm down again and it felt a little better this time and I didnt tense up once during it. I understand your reasoning with him reminding me all the time to relax in which I will probably tell him not to remind me anymore. Patience is key, and I definalty think we both need to be more patient about it. Its slowly (slowly) getting better. thanks, your advice has helped!

Most times lots of foreplay is involved, as well as him giving me oral and making me orgasm before hand. Iam using KY lube so that isnt the problem either. I will look up these....kegal excersize things and see what they can do to help. thanks.

Here is my story. Im new at sex, Ive been a non-virgin for about 3 weeks now. I lost it to my boyrfriend of 7months. I had planned on having sex around the time that we did, and I wanted to have sex with him even though I was scared my first time. The first time hurt really bad of course, like most girsl first times do. My boyfriend has been with 5 girls before me, 2 of which were virgins so he reasurred me that by the 3rd or 4th time, sex would feel better. We've had it over 10 times now, and sex is still uncomfortable most of time. The main reason is because I cant relax! My bf will calm me down and massage my legs to get me to relax, then I'll take a deep breath and think Im really relaxed, and then my bf tells me that Im still tense! After a few more seconds of trying to get my legs to calm down, hes easily able to get inside of me, and if we decide to change positions or something, its easier the second time to put the penis in. During intercourse, my bf has to remind me a few more times to relax cause he feels again that Im tense. I try sooo hard to relax, but it doesnt work. It makes me really sad because this is not how I imagined sex! I KNOW its suspost to feel wonderful and all that but because I expect that it will hurt everytime I try to do it, my body kind of prepares for the discomfort by tensing up! Its like my body got a really bad first impression of sex and wont let it go! I want to have fun with my boyfriend!!! But we cant cause most of the time its uncomfortable which makes it unfun for him cause he really wants me to have fun and get off. There are times I enjoyed it....thought maybe I might orgasm, but it didnt happen. We did however twice do the backwards cowgirl and I used my electric toothbrush (real toys from here are coming soon) to get me off in the act but I still havent learned to ENJOY SEX ITSELF. Im also thinking that maybe another reason why I tense up so bad is because hes really 'big' he has to wear magnum XL condoms, and I dont think his length that bothers me, I think its his width! Can a man be too big for a woman? ...and can I get used to it? Then again he never had much trouble with any of the girls before, so why should I be having trouble with his size?? I didnt want to mention this to him because I thought it would make him feel bad. My bf thinks that maybe one reason Im tensing up so bad is because my BODY wasnt ready for sex, even though I personally felt ready. Ya see I was born with a semi-imperfirate hymen, and had to have a hymensectomy in April to fix that. For those of you that dont know what Im talking about, I was born with a very very small vaginal opening due to an extrememly thick hymen. So small in fact that nothing could get inside it. All vaginal liquids could come out of it and I had my period, I just couldnt use tampons, get fingered, or have sex. So I was put under the knife to have a surgical vaginal opening made for me. So I really only have had a REAL vagina for 3months before having sex. But Im thinking, whats done is done. My vagina works fine so youd think it would have gotten used to it by now, right?? Ok, sorry for the long post but I really need some help here. I WANT to ENJOY SEX to its fullest, Im ready to explore new things and have fun with it!!! ....but my vagina is somehow telling me otherwise and my body wont let me stop tensing up Help? Advise? Tips? Techniques? Anything would be greatly appreciated! THANK YOU!

oh snap =] I ordered that and one more =O good deal, good deal. this should be fun....!

Ooooo yay! Im excited now! =] If I can get my mom to let me use her credit card (shes knows Ive been trying to get a 'toy') then Ima get it! And it will be my first REAL toy...I dont think my electric toothbrush counts as one, lol. THANKS!