Kota

I am sitting here almost in tears. Here is a little background. I met my hubby when I was 17 and 3 months latrer I got pregnant with our first son. We got married when our son turned 1 (that will be 11 years ago next week -the 29th) We have 3 boys. He works 2 jobs, he is a cop and I work part time. We have had problems in the past where I didn't feel like i was wanted and found myself with another man. Although we didn't sleep together I still have feeling for the other guy and think of him alot. (we don't see eachother anymore) Eric and I made up but it seemed like from then on everything was my fault. Eric and I had "sex" tonight and it was the same as always. It is the same thing everytime. I have tried to introduce toys and different positions, but it always goes back to the same thing. having sex with him is like trying to beat the clock. If I don't finish before he does then I am out of luck. I can't tell you the last time I had an orgasim with him. Then even though I love being on top and we start out that way he will flip over just when i get into a groove and smother me. It is very hard for me to move. I can't even concentrate on the moment and enjoy it cause I know it can end at any minute. As for his foreplay it consists of kissing and trying to stick himself in me when I am not ready. We did experiment with anal once and it was wonderful when he actually took the time and was gentle. Now when he fingers me it is like he is poking up there and it hurts. I have tried to talk to him but he basicly blames it on me (like everything else in our relationship) and says I need to tell him what to do and what to try cause he doesn't know. I have gotten books and dvd's and he won't read/watch them. I have a better sexualy relationship with my toys than with him. I am just so frusterated and the more and more this goes on I want to find my old friend and be with him. In past non-related problems his and my parents told us we should see someone and talk about things, he is very stubborn and said he would never do that. I am just so lost and frusterated.

I have been reading for awhile now and posted a few times but never introduced myself. I am Jess, married to Eric (10 years) and have 3 wonderful boys (11, 10 and 2) I came across this site in site in search of ways to help us in the bed. After 10 years it has become the same thing over and over. Although with our schedules I rarely ever see him.

My husband worked security for the place my step dad worked. All calls had to go through him and he would transfer the calls. I would talk to him at times but didn't think anything of it. One day my step dad and him went out to an event and he had parked his car on the street. I remember going over to his car and checked out his music (his car was a mess) we met when they got home and I thought he was pretty cute. He asked us (my step-dad, me and my friend) to go see his friends band play later that night. We hit it off and when I asked my step dad if I could go out with him (I was 17) he said no, but later gave in. 3 months later I got pregnant with our first son. It was a Year after we met that we got married. I didn't find out till a few years later that he would go and visit my step dad and (before we actually met) saw a picture of me in my step-dad's locker and said "I am going to marry her!" Although he denied it now.

-Best Friends Mom's bed (and of course we broke it) - In the front seat of a car at the park -In a hearse. DH's friend drove a hearse and while at a concert DH and I went back to the hearse and had some fun. I am positive that that is the night I concieved my son too.