chloegirl

I agree....no problem with it. It can be very erotic.

Thanks IHA, I've seen you recommend this book before and will try to pick up a copy this weekend. If nothing else I can use it to knock him in the head with right? (just kidding! )

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LOL!! That was great!!!! Really needed that laugh! ( And boy do we all feel your pain

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Ok so set the scene....Got the house to ourselves, scented candles lit, assortment of toys and flavored lubes by the bed....a hot and naked woman starting out by giving him a nice, sensual full body massage leading into some hot kissing and some oral teasing for him....You'd think this was the start of a long night of passionate sex wouldn't you? Wrong!!! As usual he rushes to take about a minute at point A, a minute at point B, work me with a toy for another couple minutes, then he's ready to climb on board and set the all time speed record to the finish line (his finish line anyway). Bingo.....he's done!..... once again I am left hanging and he's ready to go into sleep mode. Gggggrrrhhhh! WTF?!! I am sooooo sick of this shit! And so sick of having to have the "talks" which lead to absolutely nothing! Am seriously considering having an affair at this point and yes I would feel completely justified doing it!!!

That MMF threesome is a big turn on for me (thinking of being with a woman does absolutely nothing for me...even though I know that's supposed to be every guy's major dream. Sorry!) But if I was ever "inspired" enough to try the FFM thing, I don't think I would want to do it with a serious love interest (hubby or bf). I'm pretty sure I'm just a little too possessive to move on past the insecurities and questions I would later replay in my head. Would have to be just a hot sexual encounter with no strings attached for me.

Went back and re-read all your old posts....and although this has been going on for quite awhile now most of us who have been in long term relationships have been thru those long, empty, dry spells and yes when they go on long enough you do start to question the wisdom of sticking it out. Marriage takes alot of hard work and sacrifice and you do have to suck it up to weather the bad times, but how long should you let it go on? At one time I felt that you stick with it no matter what, but the older I get I'm starting to look at it differently.....If after REALLY trying every possible thing you can to make it work and it still is not working I don't see the point of sticking with it just for the sake of staying together. If you are not happy, satisfied, or fulfilled living in a "platonic" relationship then you owe it to yourself to give yourself the chance to find something more. What "brownie points" can you possibly gain by staying in a situation that you are not happy in? A one sided marriage is not a real marriage at all. You will know when and if you are really ready to move on, but be careful in the meantime with adding extra characters into the mix before you are sure.

Several years ago when my youngest daughter first got into using the computer alot I wanted to be sure she was being smart and safe and not giving out any private info. She was really into "Smallville" at that time and constantly online with people talking about it so I set up an account with that name from a character in the show and started chatting with her just to see if I could trust her not to be stupid. She passed the test fine (she's a smart girl!) and I just kept the name for my alias. Finished with that experiment real quick.....nothing gets on your nerves faster than the goofy talk of young teenage girls! :DB)

1. what do you do for a living? : Work full time for a library, part time retail 2. children: 2 beautiful girls age 19 & 16 (both with birthdays coming up-will kill me!) 3. pets?: 1 Himilayen cat 4. tats/piercings?: 2 holes each, no tats 5. what is in your cd player in your car?: Compilation with Collective Soul, Rolling Stones, & Bowie which daughter #2 kicks out to replace with RENT soundtrack whenever she gets in. 6. HaHa! Like I have time to sit down & watch....I try to keep up with Survivor & Project Runway episodes 7. Go thru at least 2 historical romances a week (the more graphic the better hehe), also currently re-reading Zecharia Sitchin's "Earth Chronicles" right now

Leave it to me to have the screwed up one!

Have a page but have yet to really do anything with it.

Great pics littlemiss! Ahh, to be that firm!

mmmm Aiden.....you go girl! When the Demi Moore/Ashton Kutcher thing first started several of the "old,dried, and dead" ladies I work with were like "What does he want with someone that much older?" I'm saying that if she keeps working it us "older" women can take those virile young guys to places they have only ever dreamed about! It's more of an even match eh?!

oops! Almost forgot another really important one...at least one "O" a day and more if at all possible!!! Talk about a mood enhancer!

The most profound change I made began when I stopped living every single waking moment doing nothing but working and catering to everyone else besides myself. It really got bad several years ago when hubby got deathly sick and couldn't work. I had to take on an extra job on top of my full-time one and in my few hours off I literally spent ALL my time and energy on doing for the kids and family and house and in the process lost contact with all my friends and ME as a person. Got really depressed, angry, and FAT! which made me even more miserable. I finally just woke up one morning and decided I can't change or control anything but myself and I refuse to live like this anymore sacrificing myself to point of no return. I started walking each night and stopped putting crap into my body and slowly but surely the weight came off, my mood improved, and life just looked a whole lot brighter because my attitude had gone from one of negativity to possitivity. These days I log 5.5 miles 5 times a week (steep uphills and can run half of it! yay!) Hubby had made a full recovery, no longer drinks, and helps alot around the house (the girls are hopeless slobs) and doesn't mind me taking that time for myself as we are all alot happier now that mama's not a bitch! Really kicked my sex drive into high gear too! I can honestly say these days I spend most of my time feeling really good and happy!

It might honestly help to get her on here or any other informational site where she can see that it's not the "bad" thing that so many of us women especially are brought up to believe. People from all walks of life, male AND female, watch and can enjoy it or use it as a "tool". Just getting someone to see other people's insights into these subjects is very liberating....you can start to loosen up and try things you might never have before once you see it's not "deviant" and many others do it too. Letting go of that "good girls don't" attitude is the most freeing experience she can get and it will open up a whole new world for both of you. Have fun!

Ha! I've mentioned doing this to my hubby and he is just as worried about it as you are. The first thing out of his mouth was "What if someone saw it? I'm not some porn star" . Well duh...that's not the point. I'll get him to come around eventually. He's already used to me sending him his own "personal" porn e-mail/pic of the week. If not maybe I'll just hide that camera and show it to him one day after I've worked him over REAL good! Bet he'll see it in a different light, hehe!

That "service me wench" attitude might be ok sometimes but if that's your normal way you are getting ready for a long dry spell. Maybe she feels like she is just having to do another daily chore with that "she owes me sex" monkey on her back. If she feels like it's always all about you just getting your rocks off and you're not putting any effort into seducing her, slowly tantalyzing her, and making her feel that HER pleasure gives you pleasure too she very well may start losing interest (believe me I know....been there myself till I set the record straight) . It's a 2-way street my friend...give and you shall recieve in spades!

There is nothing more frustrating than a parnter who has hangups or someone who won't let themselves go and enjoy the whole process. Hope you can swing him around.....he doesn't know what he's missing!

Wow! Sounds like this could be a good, hot movie. Good luck with it....i'd love to see it!

Ok y'all...spill your guts. If you could go back in time knowing everything you know now would you make the same major choices in life? (Don't give me the "of course or I wouldn't have my kids" line 'cause that's not the point) Would you choose the same relationships, careers, lifesyles? Although hopefully we are all content with our lives, we are not the same people we were just starting out and what we once thought was the only right way may no longer be so now that we're older and more open to other possibilities...Is there a point in time that if you could change the direction of something you might feel that it would all be more in sync with who you are now?

Beautiful! I soooo want to go!

I think it can be done (been in that boat for periods of time myself) and know alot of couples do live like that, but it's not good. A marriage should have more to it than just being good friends, co-parents, and roommates even though those are important aspects of the relationship. By not sharing intimacy together you will grow distant emotionally from each other whether you admit it or not. You are denying your basic emotional and biological needs and no matter how you try to justify it there is going to be anger and frustration. Now I'm not talking about a mis-matched sex drive here....it's one thing to get it but maybe just not as much as you want, and a completely other thing to go without for as long as you were saying. But at this point in my life I just don't see any benefit in playing the martyr or a saint and totally sacrificing that part of yourself just to stay together. I don't want to start a moral/religious thing here but I just don't think that God is going to punish us for being human and wanting/expecting to enjoy all the aspects of us being physical beings. A lifetime really goes by fast and you can't get back any of that time you sacrificed and did without....I don't want to be laying on my deathbed being pissed at myself for not taking advantage of my time here.

My husband drank for years (though you never saw him "drunk") and the sex sucked! Thank god those days are over.....doesn't do it anymore!