Jen

The first time I discovered a hemorrhoid I thought I was going to die. Not only was it extremely uncomfortable, but it was utterly embarrassing! Hemorrhoids are varicose veins that become irritaed and swollen from any number of things, such as: giving birth, straining during a bowel movement, or even anal sex. I don't blame your girlfriend for not wanting to participate in anal sex. She may be afraid of the pain or better yet afraid of embarrassment. Hemorrhoids can be treated though by soaking in warm baths and applying hemorrhoid cream such as Preparation H. I can't guarantee that once her hemorrhoids are gone that she'll be ready to try anal sex...but it can't hurt to ask! Good luck. Jen

And Janet delivers the final blow! I hope your advice is well received! Good job! Jen

Listen to the wise words of these people! I'm sorry to hear that your first experience with sex was so rotten; I hope you understand that what you went through was not what sex really is. Sex is: 1) Natural 2) FUN 3) Active 4) Vocal 5) Experimental 6) Exciting! 7) Shared and yes, it can make you nervous, worried and scared, but if you are with someone you trust then those fears take a back seat! I hope Eric is no longer in your life. Move on and find someone who's not going to use you as a sex "thing"! Good luck! Jen

Christi- Once I figured out how to bring myself to an orgasm I went at it at least once a day (man was it a great way to relax before bed!) Whatever YOU are comfortable with is what is normal. Don't worry about what other people say--let's remember there are people out there who say masturbation is evil! As far as deminishing your sex drive? There are really two sides to it. For some people masturbating does deminish their drive. I, myself, like to build up a bit of "umph" before sex so I don't masturbate as often as I used to. For some masturbating is simply foreplay and does not diminish anything! Masturbating is also fabulous for discovery! It allows you to discover what turns you on and gets you excited! Play around (pun intended) and see what works for you! There really is no right or wrong! Good luck! Jen

I know we all get down in our own ways, but the urination thing...well, I don't think I'll ever really understand it. Urinating on your partner (or rather being on the receiving end) has a lot to do with domination. It is not far off from why dogs pee on just about everything--they are marking their territory; dominating a space. It is something to consider before saying yes to your boyfriend. As far as health wise. Urinating is an elimination of waste from the body--it's not the most clean sport to participate in. You may want to try this in the shower, easy clean up all around! Good luck and let me know how things turn out. Jen

15 years ago there were no kids, probably no house to contend with, and most definitely less responsibilities. You and your wife were carefree and having fun. Somewhere along the line sex shifted from fun and exciting to mandatory and obligatory. Needless to say, a bit dull. So how do we rev it up again? First: 1) Make time for your wife and sex. (Have you ever noticed we that more time and effort is put into planning dinner than making love?) 2) Be assertive, but not aggressive. I much prefer when my husband takes things into his own control in the bedroom, and he knows it. He knows my limits and my dislikes, but also that if he paused to ask questions along the way we'd never try anything new! Explore your wife's body like you've never done before. She's let you know if she's uncomfortable with something. 3) Keep it up. One night of incredible sex is not going to magically erase the blahs that have settled into your love life. Keep showing your wife how excited she makes you. I know you said that your wife has declined creative input; try this instead. Rather than ask, "What would you like to do?" try, "So would you rather try ____________ or ___________?" I hope this helps add some va-va-va-voom! Good luck. Jen

Oh how I love the feel of a fresh shaved pussy. How I despise the red bumpy rash that rears its head after! There are a few things you can do to avoid (or at least reduce) the onset of the red bumps. First soaking in a warm bath will help open the pores and soften the hairs. You should use a good shaving cream and a new razor each time you shave the bikini area. Shaving in the direction in which the hair grows also helps. I have heard of a few remedies to use after shaving: moisturizing the shaven area with a light lotion, using baby oil on the shaven area followed by a light powdering with baby powder, or applying common deodorant onto the shaven area. I am a HUGE fan of the Brazilian wax. It is a bit uncomfortable at first--not to mention a bit awkward as you lay spread eagle on the table--but it has a fantastic outcome! Talk with some of your girlfriends and ask if they have any places they would recommend. Good luck. Jen

FANTASTIC!!!!! You've given me the topic for a new article (which of course will require plenty of research!) Check back soon! Jen

Wow! It sounds as if you guys are truly enjoying your toys! I'm assuming this is not the type of appliance that you'd take to your neighborhood repair man!? You might want to try switching between toys so that next time you don't wear the rabbit out so quickly. Keep having fun. Jen

Go forth and prosper my intelligent friends! And I do not mean Guest_Haywood_*. You know I can't help but assume that God is thinking, "Man, some people seriously misunderstood what I was saying. I have GOT to be more clear next time!" Guest_Haywood--if you're going to go babbling on about what God intends and quote scriptures to point out our bads then lets discuss a few things. 1) I have a HUGE problem taking anyone seriously when they have such a poor grasp on the english language. (Dictionary...or if books are scary, websters.com). 2) "marrage is an agreement to love, honor, and OBEY! we men wont go out sniffing blank holes if you women just did what you were supposed to do." ??????? You are actually going to fall back on "obey"??? The commitment of marriage is for both people (whether it be a man and a woman, two men or two women). Who is EVER going to believe you could show any honor when you refer to women as "blank holes"? 3) It was a nine year old that finally clued me into what religion and God were all about. We were discussing heaven and hell and what constitutes being sent to hell. My friend looked at me and said, "Jen, but if God promises to forgive everyone then maybe there isn't a hell?" Kid had a point. 4) "being gay is bad...... an ABOMINATION in the eyes of GOD." Bull shit! Being gay is NOT bad. What IS bad is that there are people homeless and starving in the world while others are debating over whether or not to go on a trip to Aruba. THAT is abominable! That every time I pick up a paper it seems as if I am reading about how some child has been kidnapped, raped, or murdered. THAT is abominable. But being gay? I don't think so. Jen

A clear jelly like substance is created to help ease the passage of stools, whic I am guessing is what you are finding. If you are worried than your best bet is to talk with your doctor. You might be embarrassed, but at least you'll be certain it's nothing else. Good luck. Jen

admiraltolokus- Same goes for the guys! Start by using small beads such as: Anal Beads and make sure you use PLENTY of lubrication (your best bet is to use a water based lubrication so that you do not ruin or destroy your toy)!!! Keep in mind that being clean when using anal toys is EXTREMELY important, especially if you are using porous toys (jelly and rubber). Please read: Cleaning your Toys Hope this helps! Jen

Sometimes I wonder if you guys really need my help at all! First, congrats on your engagement Georgialouise! Second, stop sucking your coworker's penis! I think you are jumping way ahead of yourself to conclusions that don't necessarily apply to you (based solely on what you have written). Are you obsessive about oral sex right now? Sounds like it, but "obsessive/compulsive behavior which can be a symptom of mental illness including depression or manic/depression or bi-polar mania" ???? I think that might be a bit harsh. You're a virgin, correct? And you can see the finish line (that being sexual intercourse), yes??? You're horny!!! My husband and I waited a very long time before we had sex and by the end I was horny 24/7. If I even leaned against the washer during the spin cycle I had an orgasm! I think Janet and Chris4U have some good advice. You need to show some self control with your coworker because it is not fair to your fiance. Redirecting your sexual energy towards your fiance is what you really need to focus on. As for your fiance not having as desirable of a penis as your coworker? That's your call. A marriage is not based on a penis alone and if you're willing to make decisions based on the appeal of your fiance's penis then you've got bigger things to think about. I really like Chris4U's suggest of getting "caught" blowing a dildo! Your fiance will think that you've been practicing so when it comes to the real deal he won't wonder why you're so good. Work on showing some control and if you just can't help yourself do your fiance a favor and be honest with him; it's only fair. Good luck, Jen

Tubeleek- Hey, hold on here. Why are you jumping on Ladypc like that? While you might not agree with how she's dealing with this I don't think you calling her a whore is going to rectify this situation or "get right" with herself or her husband. She came to this forum for help, which happens to be sexual help. Personally, I'm from the school of faithful during marriage but I'm not about to start preaching to forum participants. That said, I hope future posters will refrain from name calling (that is unless you like name calling Jen

Ask and you shall receive "russlynne"! I think the advice you have gotten from your fellow readers is a great start. It is so difficult to get out of a routine. Routines are comfortable and predictable, but they can be dull and boring also. I do like the idea of baths, and silky naughty nighties (what girl doesn't?) But you mentioned you have kids and I don't know any kids that are going to give you the opportunity to do that every time you and your husband want to have sex. I love "Starshines" way of getting things going. The flirting? GREAT idea. Sex is always good, but get me feeling a little randy before sex--then I'm butta! Sex is not simply a physical thing (you men paying attention here?) it's a mental thing too. Feel sexy and you radiate sexiness! Add excitement slowly. Heaven forbid you walk into the bedroom with a trunk full of new sex toys--you don't want to overwhelm your husband. Convince your husband to come home for lunch, and make yourself the meal! Try sex in the morning; not only are the kids still asleep but neither of you are "too tired" for sex. You mentioned "I can't do the same things I used to do but soooooo want to". Can you do a modified version of it? Remind your husband of the things that you used to do? And if you would like to introduce a toy or two into your bedroom I recommend finding one that your husband can use of you. This would be a fabulous toy to let your husband use during sex or better yet--ORAL sex! FUKUOKU 9000 I hope this helps! Good luck. Jen

You know, even bad oral sex is good. The key to good sex--any kind of sex--is talking as you go. Not only is talking erotic, but helpful. "Oh yeah, lick right there...faster..." See? Have fun! Jen

Nothing wrong with you at all. The whole G-spot thing actually doesn't rank high on my list of fun, yet some people are HUGE fans. Try reading this. Let me know if it helps. The G Spot Jen

Hold on. You're married and a friend asked you to give him a blow job but you don't know how? It sounds like you've got a lot on your plate. Might want to think about this before you jump into something. Jen

One night stands....it's synonymous with early twenties. I have this urge to educate you all with my wisdom that comes with age--but it really would be hypocritical. I had them myself and I really could have done without them. Nothing bad came of them--nothing came of them at all. One night, had fun, see ya. At the time I wasn't ready for commitment, rather I wanted a quick fix. You just need to be careful, emotionally and physically. Jen

There is NOTHING wrong about waiting to have sex. I think in a world where sex is rubbed in our face every way we turn it's hard to believe that waiting (and thinking) before having sex is ok. When I lost my virginity it was to a friend. I think that we spent the better part of the night laughing! Before that night I had so many doubts: What if I were bad? What if I did something wrong? What will they think of me? You know what? I was bad, I was terrible, and we were both ok with each other afterwards. It was our first time having sex so we didn't know what we were doing, BUT we had a great relationship (not romantic) as our foundation. Take your time. Contrary to popular belief sex is not the only part of a relationship...it's the icing on an already fabulous dessert! Good luck. Jen

Before my husband my orgasms were all self induced. I either never took the time to explain to my lovers how to help me reach my orgasm or they were too wrapped up in their own orgasm to consider me. That's long gone I'm happy to say! Orgasms are different for everyone. Some feel tingling sensations in the vaginal area, some women will ejaculate, and some will feel their bodies simply explode with excitement! Two things I have learned about a good orgasm, 1) You need to feel comfortable sexually with your partner. You are sharing an unbelievabl;e experience with them--you are both physically and mentally naked. If you're worrying about what you look like naked, or whether or not your partner is really attracted to you then those things are going to come into play during sex--and not in a good way. So as I said, first feel at ease with your partner. 2) FOREPLAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Teasing, talking, touching, licking, massaging, rubbing, sucking, feeling..... all this is fantastic! I swear, we spend more time letting the water warm up before getting into the shower than we do before having sex. The best orgams I have ever had have ALWAYS come after foreplay. I'll admit sometimes foreplay is as easy as dirty talk while we wait in line at the grocery store! I also want to recommend that you try masturbating. Discover what turns you on. Once you know what works than you will have a easier time relaying that information to your partner. I am a big fan of this book: Tickle Your Fancy As for toys. I am a huge fan of anything that stimulates the clit. This toy is small, but it packs a punch: Pocket Rocket One more thing. I noticed a bunch of questions about the g-spot. This might answer a few questions: The G Spot Keep up the good work! Jen

The natural orgasmic high is what you missing though! Try it next time. Jen

Sexymuze you have quite the following! I appreciate all your tips and techniques--which I will admit, I am going to bring into my own bedroom! Thank you for your help! Jen

I don't think we can rush to label anyone bisexual or gay--especially these days. "Karla", it sounds as if you are definitely curious about the same sex and that is absolutely ok! I do not consider myself bisexual, but I will admit that watching to women have sex is erotic. Whether your curiosity leads anywhere is your own decision. Jen

Be careful about what you use as anal lubrication. To be honest I wouldn't recommend that you try and numb the rectum. If numb the area you would not be able to feel if you have torn and scratched the rectum--which would be very painful. Anal sex is about relaxing and plenty of lubrication. You need to find a position that is comfortable for you and you need to feel very comfortable with your partner. Once you have established that than you need to make sure that you use plenty of lubrication ( a water based lube is the best). Take your time--rushing anal sex will never result in a good time! Good luck. Jen