Kama

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screw it.

I think personality can make or break how good a man is in bed. It's not just about techniques. I don't care how many orgasms you can give someone or how many tricks you learned from your last partner. Poor listening skills, lack of patience, and getting angry during sex show me that you're not good in bed. The best sexual partner to me was someone that was patient, open-minded, and knew how to compliment. That mentally made me relaxed and receptive.

Yes. Anyone that doesn't respect my recharging time is a deal breaker. I recall feeling so zapped and anxious when my ex wanted to be tied to my hip. I think that caused the relationship to break down. Only if he would let me have a day or two to myself.

Yes, you're right. I'm going to take a break from forums.

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I am a sexual abuse survivor, so I think one has to be more sensitive when discussing sexuality. The last thing we need is to feel like we are a weirdo! Come on...there's a reason why some us like the things we do. I mean-I think it makes perfect sense for a rape victim to not like Vaginal sex. When giving oral sex, we gain a sense of control. Being in control is extremely important to a survivor. Why is that so hard to understand? You're right that maybe others don't know how to empathize or admit that some people are just different than them. I don't know what's going to happen with this new guy. I just wish I met more people like him in the past. It does make me angry as to why I had to sit there and be lectured by others on how I "should" have sex, but I'm god I'm no longer around them anymore.

To update this thread, those men that told me how I'm going to have a hard finding someone are WRONG. I don't understand why some people just spew stuff with no evidence. While I was explaining bisexuality to them, they told me that "maybe you're single, because you're crazy." I even showed them actual evidence of couples being married, but they just didn't want to hear it. Again, the person I'm dating now is okay about me being attracted to both genders. He asked me to be his girlfriend after I told him this. Interestingly, this guy is also my age (in his 30's). All of the guys I meet my age don't seem to care about bisexuality. For the record, this forum where this conversation occurred is loveshack.org. I wouldn't recommend that place. It's very negative and misinformed. Most people that I meet in real life luckily don't talk like that.

Good for you, tyger! I wish we had more parents that tell their daughters straight up that they can say no. Some people think that we all naturally know how to say no. That's nonsense. If adults struggle with saying no, you can't expect every growing teenager to be strong and assertive. So many problems would be avoided if we start teaching kids that it's okay to refuse unwanted sex.

I barely remember the sex Ed in my highschool, and I might be one of the more younger members here. Let's just say that it was very general. I have learned more about sex by just talking on forums and reading up on websites. Letting kids learn on their own is bad advice, imho. This opens up teenagers and young adults to encounter bad experiences or not know what's normal. Imagine a young couple that doesn't know about foreplay, and that may just lead to painful experiences. Or, maybe someone isn't sure how to say no or set a boundary.

I think I should have clarified that my previous counselor was specifically referring to how me giving oral sex too much would be a problem. She also had laughed at the idea of being satisfied by giving pleasure. She said that she never heard of that. I think it's rude for a professional to laugh at someone expressing how they feel. I agree with you on how if a person is bending over backwards in general for others, it gets exhausting. I just love how the guy I am dating didn't question me on why I'm the way I am in bed. He's not acting anything like the people that saw me as strange. This makes him so much more sexually attractive.

Thank you! The right person makes all the difference!

Well, I am now dating someone that is completely okay with my preferences. He said that I should do whatever makes me happy. Yay. Hope everyone had a good new year!

You are so funny, Tyger (I mean that in a good way). Sorry you went through that with your ex. Yes, 30-somethings are the new 21! Or, so it seems. Good manners are a lost art, ha.

Lucky couple.

I'm a little slow tonight. What rings true..how bisexuals are perceived? I'm in a good place now. The people I meet are open-minded, or claim to be, towards bisexuality. I know I still strongly prefer men right now, but can feel very aroused at women.

I've had people tell me straight out what they think of me and lecture me on how I need to change. in my experience, I have found other people's opinions and advice unfounded, but there are some good ones out there though.

Thanks tyger. As I have changed since this topic was created years ago, my family has too. I told a guy that I am recently dating that I'm in no rush and if he's looking for a girl to control...he's got to go look somewhere else. he laughed. I like your last sentence.

Now how do you get over with what others think?

Well said. Recharging your batteries so to speak.

Yeah, sex is about enjoying each other. This whole making "sex equal" is contrived, imo. I had a therapist that lectured me on this and thought that my giving nature would cause problems in my relationship, ha. I don't think so.