Members somethingsweet2 Posted September 16, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 16, 2009 I have been sexually active for about 13 years. And in those 13 years, I have maybe gotten off a total of 5 times. It has never been an issue for me as I am more into pleasing him then myself. I can (more often then not) have an orgasm from self-clitoral stimulation, but never from intercourse. And I have found myself a guy that actually wants me to get off (not necessarily a mind blowing orgasm (yet)) but wants me to cum. He enjoys the sex we have, but it really bothers him when I get nothing out of it. Is this a lost cause, or is there still hope for me? Any suggestions would help, thanks in advance!P.S. Not sure if this has anything to do with it, but found out today that I have a tilted/tipped uterus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members katens2002 Posted September 17, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 I can totally relate to that. One of my ex's actually broke up with me because he couldn't get me off. It took me years to figure out how to orgasm with someone else, and it's still really hard. My body knows exactly what it wants, where it wants, and when and how it wants it, and if anything gets messed up at all I'm just not going to orgasm. I was lucky enough to find a partner who didn't get too upset about it and was willing to learn what to do.Figure out exactly what you are doing when you get off yourself, and make him watch you do it or explain it in great detail. This requires a level of comfort that wasn't easy for me to achieve, but hopefully you can get there faster than I did. Tell him to resist the impulse to do what he thinks will work, or to improvise, or to do what worked on someone else. He needs to do EXACTLY what you tell him to!! You can work on changing it up later, but first you have to let your body get used to someone else doing what you usually do yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members katens2002 Posted September 17, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 One other thing - tell him to be willing to accept some dissapointment. It's not going to work right away, or the next several times after that either. It took me months, and I still have trouble sometimes. Tell him that if he really does want to give you pleasure, he should be willing to keep working at it even if he gets frustrated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members somethingsweet2 Posted September 17, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 Thanks for your advice! :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted September 29, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 A little late on this but......You really need to figure out yourself what works then bring it to bed with him. Is there any chance your just to self conscious and cant relax enough to finish? I would also like to suggest a bullet. If you don't already have one, they can work wonders. Most of all you really need to learn how to please yourself to know what works and how best to guide your partner to pleasing you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members HisAngel Posted September 30, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 30, 2009 I can see your point here, I have been in the same situation previously. It helped me to build up the foreplay and remember that sex doesnt just happen in the bedroom. A lot of my orgasms start in my mind and build from there. I like to be on-top with my SO slightly sitting (like laying back on his elbows if that makes sense) I find that the best position without use of toys or fingers to arouse my clit at the same time. I love it.Maybe a few foreplay sessions, take turns to explore each others bodies. I like sexy underwear for when I'm feeling self-conscious (if as LadyLove wrote this could be an issue) giving is good, but so is receiving, so I hope you relax and enjoy going with the flow (so to speak)Have FunxAngelx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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