For Men: Ed And Marriage...

[Sunday]

my guess would be E-G-O which seems to be a valid excuse for many ridiculous things

For most guys, being non-functional would be a much bigger hit to the ego than taking a pill!

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It appears that men, who respond, are proactive with their sexual health, which I think is wonderful. Tell me if you were experiencing ED why would you NOT choose to use any pharmaceuticals? What would be the reason, aside from an adverse reaction to other med or blatant health risks? Why would a man choose not to take an oral sexual aid?

Inertia/procrastination (with going to the doc in the first place)

Self-concious about making the call (Why do you need to see the doctor, sir? I'm sorry, can you speak up? I couldn't hear you, and neither could your co-workers.)

Don't want to get the obligatory finger in the ass during the visit.

Don't want to admit there is a problem (the ego thing)

Just plain don't like taking medicine.

Don't want to start down the slippery, ever-steepening slope of taking meds.

The last two appy to me. For various reasons, I don't like taking meds unless I am miserable enough.

And I've known too many people who seem to start out taking one kind of med, and end up with two dozen pills a day to choke down on a long-term or life-long basis, all with their own little wonderful side effects. I just don't want to start down that road.

[chloegirl]

add cost to that list....at around $10 a pop if he's got a lifetime habit of get it once and be done is it really worth it?

[Sunday]

add cost to that list....at around $10 a pop if he's got a lifetime habit of get it once and be done is it really worth it?

$10 a pop for sex is pretty cheap unless you can find a hooker who's running a sale.

[chloegirl]

$10 a pop for sex is pretty cheap unless you can find a hooker who's running a sale.

lol! True, but it depends on the service!

[Sunday]

Good Lord,,I am 47 and still give her a spray from head to ass,,,,I do eat quality food,,not too much,dont smoke or drink sodas,,, and if I hope I never have to take a damn pill to screw. She walks by me in garters and heels and my dick salutes,,,,I wake up with morning wood and she grabs it! She tels me I should sell my blood as Viagra. My dick gets hard if the wind blows and I live on the ocean so I am always getting wood. We walk or bike and do a basic exercise most days. If we are in a mall I will pick out a hot outfit if she will give me a fashion show,,she always does!

I'm really happy for you, but at 47 you've just found the base of the hill. It gets steep fast and before you know it, you're over the hill. Come back in 10 years and let us know how things are working for you.

[ladylove]

For most guys, being non-functional would be a much bigger hit to the ego than taking a pill!

One would think.....

I'm really happy for you, but at 47 you've just found the base of the hill. It gets steep fast and before you know it, you're over the hill. Come back in 10 years and let us know how things are working for you.

So are you saying ED is inevitable for every male.

[Sunday]

One would think.....

So are you saying ED is inevitable for every male.

I don't know if should still be called ED when you're 60+ or not. At some point it stops being a medical/psychological "dysfunction" and starts being a natural part of growing older, even if guys don't want to think so. Women lose some of their sexual function as they move past menopause and it's considered natural. If a guy doesn't function like a 25 year old when he's 65 he thinks he's got a problem. If you're 60 and you can't ever get it up, that's a problem, but not being as vigorous as a teenager is just something you have to face up to and work with. Keep in mind I'm not a doctor, I just pretend to be one on the internet.

[ladylove]

I don't know if should still be called ED when you're 60+ or not. At some point it stops being a medical/psychological "dysfunction" and starts being a natural part of growing older, even if guys don't want to think so. Women lose some of their sexual function as they move past menopause and it's considered natural. If a guy doesn't function like a 25 year old when he's 65 he thinks he's got a problem. If you're 60 and you can't ever get it up, that's a problem, but not being as vigorous as a teenager is just something you have to face up to and work with. Keep in mind I'm not a doctor, I just pretend to be one on the internet.

Thanks

[ladylove]

I was reading some of the threads here and the loss of libido, firm erections and ED is inevitable in men as so many have pointed out. Men go through changes, as they age, as women do. I'm going to assume (yes I know what happens when you assume) this inevitable change is due to the drop in the hormone testosterone. If this is true, instead of taking ad ED drug, why not take a hormone replacement to off set ill effects of aging on you sex life? Some women do.....

[Sunday]

I was reading some of the threads here and the loss of libido, firm erections and ED is inevitable in men as so many have pointed out. Men go through changes, as they age, as women do. I'm going to assume (yes I know what happens when you assume) this inevitable change is due to the drop in the hormone testosterone. If this is true, instead of taking ad ED drug, why not take a hormone replacement to off set ill effects of aging on you sex life? Some women do.....

The quick answer is side effects. Testosterone is linked to prostate enlargement and prostate cancer. So a good doc will check your levels and if you're in the normal range, won't give you any more. Plus, it's not a guaranteed "cure."

Anabolic steroids are another option that have huge negative side effects.

[ladylove]

The quick answer is side effects. Testosterone is linked to prostate enlargement and prostate cancer. So a good doc will check your levels and if you're in the normal range, won't give you any more. Plus, it's not a guaranteed "cure."

Anabolic steroids are another option that have huge negative side effects.

OKay, get it now.

[chloegirl]

In many cases the testosterone blood levels show up as normal...heart and blood pressure meds and any damage that may have built up from those problems is often the culprit for ED and maybe longterm anxiety over that type of performance problem leads to the loss of libido. I personally believe that 90% of it is your personal mental attitude. I mean you can get around the erection difficulties IF you don't let the worry of that interfere with your desire and open-ness to fully explore and enjoy all the other ways to enjoy, give, and experience erotic pleasure. If you're not careful you can unconsciously short- circuit and kill your sexuality. Same thing with women who have body image hang-ups....it's that mental spectatoring and negative image that is your enemy. Then again, some people just do NOT have a high sex drive regardless of age, gender or health....alas for their partners who do!

[Sunday]

In many cases the testosterone blood levels show up as normal...heart and blood pressure meds and any damage that may have built up from those problems is often the culprit for ED and maybe longterm anxiety over that type of performance problem leads to the loss of libido. I personally believe that 90% of it is your personal mental attitude. I mean you can get around the erection difficulties IF you don't let the worry of that interfere with your desire and open-ness to fully explore and enjoy all the other ways to enjoy, give, and experience erotic pleasure. If you're not careful you can unconsciously short- circuit and kill your sexuality. Same thing with women who have body image hang-ups....it's that mental spectatoring and negative image that is your enemy. Then again, some people just do NOT have a high sex drive regardless of age, gender or health....alas for their partners who do!

+1 on this Chloe. A very insightful post.

[square]

. . . I'm going to assume (yes I know what happens when you assume) . . .

Better to presume instead of assume; it avoids a whole lot of pitfalls.

. . . due to the drop in the hormone testosterone. If this is true, instead of taking ad ED drug, why not take a hormone replacement to off set ill effects of aging on you sex life? Some women do.....

I suspect it is probably just not that simple, though I don't know a whole lot about all this. I believe clogging arteries can be part of the problem, so testosterone would not fix that.

I went back the urologist for a follow-up; he said my testosterone level was OK (I should have pressed him on where it fell within the range of OK).

In the mean time, I had tried a couple of Viagras. For the first one, we hadn't had sex in several days and the urge to doink was building. Same old story, horney in the morning but want to save it till night when my wife likes sex better and the kids are asleep, but then get too tired. So one particular morning I couldn't wait anymore and we had a quickie; I don't think it even took me a minute till I popped.

With the wife going away the next day for several days to visit family, I figured we should doink again that night, and since it had been several days up till that morning's doink, I thought I should be able to recharge OK enough by night time. But hey, why not try one of these Viagra things too so I can give the Doc some feedback. While the Viagara helped with getting and holding a boner, I really hadn't recharged enough, so the doink lasted a good half hour, maybe longer, which is way longer than normal for me. The build-up to orgasm was very very slow and just took forever and at times seemed like it wasn't going to happen. I felt like giving up a couple of times. The orgasm itself was fine, but I found that the build-up was not that pleasurable. Normally the build-up progresses steadily and I find it to be quite pleasurable. This time it just felt like it wasn't happening. Not that it was bad; it just wasn't GOOD.

I told this to the doc; he agreed it was a recharge issue, and recharging takes longer with age, and Viagra won't help with that. I didn't think to ask this, but on that night, my typical end-of-the-day tiredness was also settling in, so I wonder how much of a role that played, if any, compared with the recharge issue.

The other time I tried the Viagra I'd had a couple of days to recharge. I felt like I could have used a third day though, and again took a little longer than normal to orgasm, but not like the first trial. And I felt like if I'd had an extra day, I wouldn't have needed the pill. But I did want to get another Viagra try in before the doc visit and before Flo from Redbank showed up.

In the end, I'd say in my mind the jury is still out. If my troubles are due to recharging and/or holding the charge into the night, I'm not sure Viagara is the answer. But I will continue to try it some more.

Going back to a Ladylove question: "Tell me if you were experiencing ED why would you NOT choose to use any pharmaceuticals? What would be the reason, aside from an adverse reaction to other med or blatant health risks? Why would a man choose not to take an oral sexual aid? "

Among the side effects for Viagra is loss of hearing and loss of vision. I think they are rare, but it makes me a little nervous. I can still put food on the table if my dick don't work. I can't even get to the job, let alone do the job, if my eyes don't work. That would be a disaster; I've got four other mouths to feed and heads to shelter.

Also, my insurance doesn't seem to cover these little pills. I spent close to $200 for a dozen. A bit pricey to be using them regularly. If my troubles were worse I might re-think that though.

[ladylove]

Very helpful. Thank you square

[ladylove]

anyone have anything to add???

[Sunday]

In the mean time, I had tried a couple of Viagras. For the first one, we hadn't had sex in several days and the urge to doink was building. Same old story, horney in the morning but want to save it till night when my wife likes sex better and the kids are asleep, but then get too tired. So one particular morning I couldn't wait anymore and we had a quickie; I don't think it even took me a minute till I popped.

With the wife going away the next day for several days to visit family, I figured we should doink again that night, and since it had been several days up till that morning's doink, I thought I should be able to recharge OK enough by night time. But hey, why not try one of these Viagra things too so I can give the Doc some feedback. While the Viagara helped with getting and holding a boner, I really hadn't recharged enough, so the doink lasted a good half hour, maybe longer, which is way longer than normal for me. The build-up to orgasm was very very slow and just took forever and at times seemed like it wasn't going to happen. I felt like giving up a couple of times. The orgasm itself was fine, but I found that the build-up was not that pleasurable. Normally the build-up progresses steadily and I find it to be quite pleasurable. This time it just felt like it wasn't happening. Not that it was bad; it just wasn't GOOD.

I told this to the doc; he agreed it was a recharge issue, and recharging takes longer with age, and Viagra won't help with that. I didn't think to ask this, but on that night, my typical end-of-the-day tiredness was also settling in, so I wonder how much of a role that played, if any, compared with the recharge issue.

The other time I tried the Viagra I'd had a couple of days to recharge. I felt like I could have used a third day though, and again took a little longer than normal to orgasm, but not like the first trial. And I felt like if I'd had an extra day, I wouldn't have needed the pill. But I did want to get another Viagra try in before the doc visit and before Flo from Redbank showed up.

In the end, I'd say in my mind the jury is still out. If my troubles are due to recharging and/or holding the charge into the night, I'm not sure Viagara is the answer. But I will continue to try it some more.

Going back to a Ladylove question: "Tell me if you were experiencing ED why would you NOT choose to use any pharmaceuticals? What would be the reason, aside from an adverse reaction to other med or blatant health risks? Why would a man choose not to take an oral sexual aid? "

Among the side effects for Viagra is loss of hearing and loss of vision. I think they are rare, but it makes me a little nervous. I can still put food on the table if my dick don't work. I can't even get to the job, let alone do the job, if my eyes don't work. That would be a disaster; I've got four other mouths to feed and heads to shelter.

Also, my insurance doesn't seem to cover these little pills. I spent close to $200 for a dozen. A bit pricey to be using them regularly. If my troubles were worse I might re-think that though.

I suspect stress and fatigue are part of your problem. At 59, I get tired by the end of the day and no amount of drugs is going to make me want sex.

My experience with Viagra a year and a half ago was very different from yours ( they should print "Your results may vary" on the bottle). With half a blue rocket I could have sex twice in the first hour and then again in about 4 hours. The first time I'd be up, in, and done pretty quick. The second took more time and stimulation for me to get off, and the third time I really had to work at it. Then I got in a relationship with a woman who didn't really want to have sex with me (no matter how much she claimed she did). Even when my mind intellectually believed she was into it, the rest of my system knew she wasn't. Even with Viagra I had trouble getting erections, they didn't last long, didn't come back at all (one round of sex per half-pill). I thought it was me, but the only difference was the woman and her attitude, plus I was a few months older. Sexual function is an incredibly sensitive and complex mixture of psychology and physiology. Hope you figure your problem out.

[Sunday]

If you can read this it should explain everything. (I can't open the image - I get a message that I don't have permission to use that function. - WTF?)

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I can't open the image either.

I haven't tried any more Viagras. Good thing they have a long shelf life. I definitely seem to hit a point many days with an hour or two or three before I go to bed, where I run out of steam and my energy just takes a nose dive while I finish up stuff around the house and get the kids homeworked and off to bed. If I can squeak a nap in, it seems to help, but seldom time for that. This cold weather doesn't help. I am more easily aroused when going to bed with just drawers and a lot of skin against the sheets (summer time garb), rather than with socks and long johns and sweat pants and a sweat shirt. And the short winter days seem to make me need more sleep.

But on those nights when I'm still charged-up enough, Mr. Happy still works.

[mudshark]

I can't open the image either.

I haven't tried any more Viagras. Good thing they have a long shelf life. I definitely seem to hit a point many days with an hour or two or three before I go to bed, where I run out of steam and my energy just takes a nose dive while I finish up stuff around the house and get the kids homeworked and off to bed. If I can squeak a nap in, it seems to help, but seldom time for that. This cold weather doesn't help. I am more easily aroused when going to bed with just drawers and a lot of skin against the sheets (summer time garb), rather than with socks and long johns and sweat pants and a sweat shirt. And the short winter days seem to make me need more sleep.

But on those nights when I'm still charged-up enough, Mr. Happy still works.

Try cialis, my man! It does last almost two days in your system. Give it a try.

[ladylove]

Men if you are not into taking drugs to help "get it up and keep it up" what are some of the steps you take to ensure successful penetrative sex?