Members me4now Posted June 22, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 hi everyone it me needing some advice there have been times when i couldnt cum lately its not that im not enjoying the love making with my husband but its hard to release i feel it but nothing happens i told my husband its not him i think something is wrong with me he totally disagreed so i said i would put the question out to get some feed back. could i be tring to hard and tense my body up? please help also has anyone ever tried the Gspot vibrator with silver bullet stimulating the clitories at the same time what happen? thanks want 2 know Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted June 22, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 There are times in a woman's life when orgasms just don't come - even to me. Sometimes we can experience what I call the "null or void" orgasm. You feel great, it seems like it is building - and then, NOTHING. A big fat NOTHING. It doesn't ever come back. It is almost like you came, but didn't get the sensations.This happens to me about once every 6 months or so - but it has happened to some of my friends more often. They always freak out and panic - thinking they have lost their ability to cum. THEY HAVEN'T!Let me ask, is there any new pressures in your life? New job, new stress, fighting with the SO? Sometimes when things start building up on us women, we internalize it, and we can't release our frustrations, so we can't relax enough to cum. This is always why things happen to me - I am internalizing my stresses. I haven't done my Yoga, or I have had a disagreement with someone. I just get balled up - and sex normally relaxes me, but sometimes I just can't let go. This might be happening to you.I would also suggest that you might be then worrying about it everytime you get into bed again. It is like performance anxiety. I would suggest getting back into touch with your own sexuality. Take a nice bath, relax, light some candles, play with yourself slowly, seductively and get reconnected without the SO. This is something every woman must do sometimes for various reasons - perhaps you should try.If you continue to try and push it, you may have the opposite effect, which is to make it worse. Just try to relax and enjoy your own body - then you can go back to sharing it again!Just my suggestions!Mikayla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members me4now Posted June 22, 2006 Author Members Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 There are times in a woman's life when orgasms just don't come - even to me. Sometimes we can experience what I call the "null or void" orgasm. You feel great, it seems like it is building - and then, NOTHING. A big fat NOTHING. It doesn't ever come back. It is almost like you came, but didn't get the sensations.This happens to me about once every 6 months or so - but it has happened to some of my friends more often. They always freak out and panic - thinking they have lost their ability to cum. THEY HAVEN'T!Let me ask, is there any new pressures in your life? New job, new stress, fighting with the SO? Sometimes when things start building up on us women, we internalize it, and we can't release our frustrations, so we can't relax enough to cum. This is always why things happen to me - I am internalizing my stresses. I haven't done my Yoga, or I have had a disagreement with someone. I just get balled up - and sex normally relaxes me, but sometimes I just can't let go. This might be happening to you.I would also suggest that you might be then worrying about it everytime you get into bed again. It is like performance anxiety. I would suggest getting back into touch with your own sexuality. Take a nice bath, relax, light some candles, play with yourself slowly, seductively and get reconnected without the SO. This is something every woman must do sometimes for various reasons - perhaps you should try.If you continue to try and push it, you may have the opposite effect, which is to make it worse. Just try to relax and enjoy your own body - then you can go back to sharing it again!Just my suggestions!Mikayla ok i have had some serious stress lately and i didnt know that could effect me in that way so im going to spend some time with my self thanks will keep you posted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nosleepnmesa Posted June 22, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 Want2know, Mikayla hit it right on! I can tell you that there has been times that I dont cum but it feels like I have but nothing. Stress and thinking and worrind about things can play a HUGE role in it. As far as a vibrator with Clitoral stimulation they are great and help alot, I can have multi O with them but once again if I am not relaxed and there is somthing on my mind bugging me I just cant. Relax it is normal if there is extra stress in your life that this will happen. Try clearing your mind and not worry about it and it should come. Keep up posted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hrnychick Posted June 22, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 Yes this has happened to me before and yes it was always due to some sort of stress. Its not easy to switch from mommy mode to sexy mode in mins flat so sometimes my days stress just plays on my mind while I should be relaxing and enjoying the sex between my hubby and I.A few times when this has happened my hubby would keep going and going til I told him to stop that its just not going to happen and needless to say he thinks it had something to do with him.....then he gets upset.....and starts with the guess I dont turn you on anymore bullcrap etc......but I tell him over and over when this happens ( and thank god its not often) its ME not him and I just cant thats it i feel like it I feel like its going to happen then poof nothing and no matter what I just cant seem to.I can understand why he gets a bit upset but hey HE still gets his so he wins anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hrnychick Posted June 22, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 I can only speak for myself put my problem with this isnt all the time and its always gone after a good nights sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members me4now Posted June 23, 2006 Author Members Report Share Posted June 23, 2006 thanks! its funny once i posted this situation my husband comes to me and says lets talk of course i did and he suggested that we relax together and talk about whats been happening to me (so we did) and he massage my body he explain that were not going to any thing but touch and caress thats it and that alone was GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we did shower together listen to music and i feel a lot better since he and i have talk we have not made love just yet but the whole caressing thing is great plus talking our day out putting the kids down a little early is really helping i feel the excitment gaining pressure but im not going to push it i will keep you all posted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.