Members amberlin Posted June 19, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 19, 2010 mostly solved :S Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WendyNY Posted June 19, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 19, 2010 i have been with my bf, we'll call him H, for five years now and i have yet to have an orgasm with him.we are happy together, but im having some problems reaching the big "O". i dont have any other lovers to compare him with, so im not sure if what im doing, or if what he is doing is what each of us want. he smokes, drinks, doesn't get any exercise, and looks at a lot of porn. H kinda sounds like a creep at this point, but he is totally a great guy. just not great in bed... when i look at the pics and videos he has im just shocked. they are as young as is legal, and kinda trashyi know im just being insecure, but it makes me think that im already too old for H. im not 18, so im no good anymore... he jokes around with me and tells me that im, "no spring chicken anymore". i know he loves me, and thinks im attractive, but that little voice in the back of my head wont shut up. maybe awesome sex would shut it up. he doesn't drink nearly as much as he used to, i dont think he likes to go down on me. he never got me off, and the last time he gagged! i felt horrible, and never asked him to do it since. he just tells me that its stinky down there! and i can assure ya'll that im clean as can be, just normal lady smell that i thought men liked.he finishes and i go wash up. i go to sleep and H goes back to watchin' tv in the living room. i know that sounds horrible, but its all i know. i dont want to look back and think that i could have been havin' great sex... i want great sex now!I pulled out all the lines that stood out to me in your letter.You have stayed with him for a long time (5 years ?)The "little voice in the back of your head is a RED FLAG".You need to listen to it.I know that what I'm saying may be harsh, but you deserve better----MUCH better.You are still young and it may be frightening to think about leaving the only person you've ever really been with. Please don't stay with someone for that reason.Please don't think you can't find someone who wants to love you and please you---you can.I know that there will be much more profound advice on here for you,But, this is my advice-----Listen to the "little voice in the back of your head". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LilGreenPuffer Posted June 19, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 19, 2010 I agree. Is this relationship bringing you much happiness? It seems to me that if you don't connect in bed at all, you might not be connecting in the rest of your life together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members amberlin Posted June 19, 2010 Author Members Report Share Posted June 19, 2010 i was afraid i was going to get that answer... but maybe yall are right. i have thought about leaving him, but i really want this to work. we get along so well, just sex has always been disapponinting. im kinda afraid to leave him because i havnt been in any other relationship, and i know thats not a good reason. we are just so comfortable together. thats not a good reason to stay together either though... i dunno... well see how tonight goes, ill keep yall posted! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LilGreenPuffer Posted June 20, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 20, 2010 It sounds like he takes you for granted because you've been together so long. He's not even trying to make you feel good - even just comfortable - in bed. If everything else in the relationship is great, then maybe you should sit down and have a serious talk about the sex. But is sex the only reason you've thought about leaving him? If so, or if he doesn't try harder at sex after a conversation, then I think it might be time to call it quits.Good luck, honey! I hope you figure out what's best for you in this situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members amberlin Posted June 20, 2010 Author Members Report Share Posted June 20, 2010 well last night we had sex, and it was a totally an improvement. we had "the talk" about 2 weeks ago, when he said he would try harder to give me what i need. we even both did oral! i didn't have an orgasm, but we were kinda short on time. thanks to yall i have gained confindence, (champagne helps!) and i can tell him what i want. maybe when we have more time we can do a little more exploring. with a little more practice i think he could get me to cum through oral. the whole smell thing didn't seem to bother him this time. i asked him if he wanted to use that edible massage oil, but he said he didn't need it. it was seriously a short session, but with a little more time and determination i think we can get there! i think we were just so comfortable having sex in a kinda boring way for so long, that it may take some extra effort to correct it. i partially gave up before and stopped initiating because i was afraid that i would get turned down. i just need to be more confident, and realize that he may need me to come out and say, "i wanna fuck" to get his attention.ill get to the "O" eventually, i hope! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted June 20, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 20, 2010 sometimes we ask an answer that we already KNOW the answer too in order to validate ourselves. So, perhaps, that is exactly what you did and you know what you need to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members amberlin Posted June 21, 2010 Author Members Report Share Posted June 21, 2010 i guess thats true. i just need to vent! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.