Members WendyNY Posted February 14, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted February 14, 2011 I found last weeks episode on the "OWN" website. I love the title--- "Domination and Submission".....It looks like you can watch bits and pieces of it, but not the whole thing. I am sure they will show it again.There is also a preview listing for tonights !! It sounds like it will be good.Here is last weeks:http://www.oprah.com/own-bedroom-dr-laura-berman/In-the-Bedroom-with-Dr-Laura-Berman-Sex-Domination-and-Submission Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted February 14, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 14, 2011 I found last weeks episode on the "OWN" website. http://www.oprah.com/own-bedroom-dr-laura-berman/In-the-Bedroom-with-Dr-Laura-Berman-Sex-Domination-and-SubmissionThanks for the heads up I enjoyed the last episode very much, as I have each episode. No matter what stage of relationship you are in, I believe everyone can and will walk away learning something constructive for themselves or their relationship...... maybe even both who knows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WendyNY Posted February 19, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted February 19, 2011 This past weeks episode was titled "Sex, Kissing and Control". I thought it was interesting that the wife had a complete repulsion to kissing her husband. She had confessed to having gone YEARS without the two of them kissing. It completely repulsed her. This made her husband feel badly about himself and very much "unwanted". They didn't have sex very often either. The wife would oftentimes trade sex, for things she wanted her husband to do around the house. It was really sad to watch. The wife's upbringing had a lot to do with her wanting control and I wasn't that surprised at her reason for not wanting to kiss. Sadly, not all shows have happy endings. It was very clear that this couple needed MUCH more than just a few days of help. While they were back together at the end, you could tell her husband was NOT happy.....This made me think a bit about how my husband and I are with kissing. Sure I love it. But when you are with someone for so long --after awhile that "passion" that is so prominent in the start of any relationship kind of fizzles out a little bit. Those long drawn "make out" sessions that would last HOURS in the very beginning, suddenly are non-existent for many couples. I think of the few tiimes recently when my husband grabbed me taking me by complete surprise and gave me a very long passionate kiss that left me breathless !! One of the "homework" sessions Dr. Laura Berman gave this couple was to spend time JUST KISSING---nothing else, no sex and no expectations for sex. So, that is MY homework for the weekend !!This is the link to this past weeks episode:http://www.oprah.com/own-bedroom-dr-laura-berman/in-the-bedroom-blog.htmlEnjoy ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kace Posted February 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 21, 2011 I can't wait! Hope the DVR doesn't screw it up again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted February 22, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 22, 2011 Wendy, I DDR it, and it cut the follow up with the couple. I only know heard the first 6 mths was wonderful.... what happened after that. I have looked in vein for the rerun but am unable to find it. It looked to me as though they were in good shape. However, in reading your posting I'm not sure what happened after that 6 mth mark. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WendyNY Posted February 22, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted February 22, 2011 Wendy, I DDR it, and it cut the follow up with the couple. I only know heard the first 6 mths was wonderful.... what happened after that. I have looked in vein for the rerun but am unable to find it. It looked to me as though they were in good shape. However, in reading your posting I'm not sure what happened after that 6 mth mark.No, they had split up for awhile in between the end of the show and the 6 month follow up. (I can't remember how long they were separated. My husband remembered it was at least 3 months) You could tell that the husband was really, really miserable. The wife did all the talking at the end and he just sat there. My husband pointed out how unhappy he looked also. I hope the wife got some therapy for herself because everything that was wrong, seemed to point to her. I do realize it takes two, but in their case she was the one with the major issues due to her homelife growing up. Her husband went out of his way to please her. I'm not sure if they replayed it last night before the new show started. We haven't watched the new episode yet. I'm looking forward to watching it tonight !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted February 23, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 23, 2011 No, they had split up for awhile in between the end of the show and the 6 month follow up. (I can't remember how long they were separated. My husband remembered it was at least 3 months) You could tell that the husband was really, really miserable. The wife did all the talking at the end and he just sat there. My husband pointed out how unhappy he looked also. I hope the wife got some therapy for herself because everything that was wrong, seemed to point to her. I do realize it takes two, but in their case she was the one with the major issues due to her homelife growing up. Her husband went out of his way to please her. I'm not sure if they replayed it last night before the new show started. We haven't watched the new episode yet. I'm looking forward to watching it tonight !!Thank you for the follow-up, they didn't rerun it last night. I haven't watched the new one either, maybe tonight or this weekend. DH and I always watch it together so we have to play it by ear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kace Posted February 23, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 23, 2011 Wow, felt really bad for the guy in the kissing episode. There isn't much of anything he can do to fix the situation. It seems that the slightest little quirk in someone's home life growing up can create a damaged mess of an adult later - and sometimes it doesn't emerge until a sequence of conditions are met. There have been a couple of episodes like this now. I had a dating strategy years ago based on this . On the first date I always brought up her parents in casual conversation. The big red flag was how she views her father. I found that the girls that didn't get along with their dads often had issues with men in general and that I'd get that transferred to me. I didn't do this as a personal judgment against women with less than ideal home lives, I just got tired of being sucked into the middle of it by proxy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WendyNY Posted February 23, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted February 23, 2011 'Kace' said:. "On the first date I always brought up her parents in casual conversation. The big red flag was how she views her father. I found that the girls that didn't get along with their dads often had issues with men in general and that I'd get that transferred to me. I didn't do this as a personal judgment against women with less than ideal home lives, I just got tired of being sucked into the middle of it by proxy."Wow, Kace-- I'm very impressed that you actually did this on every first date !!! That's not something that most men (any men) would even think about asking. I guess it's a sign that you are more mature than most men.We watched a portion of the new episode last night. We will watch the rest tonight. (what did we ever do before DDR's came out ???? ) This week's episode was titled "Sex, and the Madonna/Whore Complex". The couple had a total of SIX children between them (which included a new baby) They had both been married before and I was under the impression that they had met and were seeing each other while they were both married. My first impression of the wife was that she is very controlling. In their life, in her life and in the bedroom. There was NO sex of any kind going on though. She definitely wore the pants in their relationship. It's very apparent when you see them side by side, that SHE is in charge. I felt sorry for her because she did cry a bit and seemed really sad. She wanted their sex life to be what it was before they got married. There was something else about the husband that made me wonder if there were something else going on with him. I will have to watch the rest of the show to see if what I'm thinking is true. He was very, very sweet and such a nice guy. He had ZERO sex drive, NONE. Dr. Laura Berman brought up the fact that the wife is still nursing and perhaps in his eyes it was hard to separate her being a mother with her being the sexy woman he married. (The "Madonna / Whore Complex".)I'm looking forward to watching the rest of it and I'll give more of my thoughts afterwards.Here is the link if you didn't get a chance to see it.http://www.oprah.com/own-bedroom-dr-laura-berman/Sex-and-the-Madonna-Whore-Complex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted February 24, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 24, 2011 I did watch the whole episode and I think you may change your opinion once you finish watching the whole program. It was my opinion his issues were what was holding him back, but she was a contributor to the situation also. They are in a good place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kace Posted February 24, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 24, 2011 I'm really starting to think my cable company is showing these episodes a week late... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WendyNY Posted February 24, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted February 24, 2011 I'm really starting to think my cable company is showing these episodes a week late... Kace, I don't want to spoil it for you !!! I will wait until next week to write the recap. I did notice that the title they gave this week's show in the TV listing was incorrect---it was of an older show. The title I listed above is the correct one (Madonna/Whore complex.) I had set it to tape anyway. Ladylove---you were right--what I had been thinking about the husband was incorrect. I did like how they incorporated the photography session too . Dr Laura Berman had noticed that in their bedroom, there were no pictures of them at all. At the start of each show, she goes through the whole house room by room to get an idea of what the couple is like. She is able to tell a lot by what their bedroom looks like. I have to say, that after I watched the very first episode, I took a good look at our own bedroom. Yes, it's too small, but we have gotten new furniture.(and this summer, we will be revamping it along with several rooms with new paint and carpet) The one thing that always bothered me, is that somehow the Laudry baskets with clean laundry always ends up in our bedroom to fold. Well, what happens after one basket is finished and put away ??? Yes, of course, there's another basket to fold !! (it never ends ! ) So, I have been making a conscious effort and have been solving this problem by folding the clothes as I take them out of the dryer !! (no more baskets in our room ! ) Having extra stuff in the bedroom does create a sense of "chaos" and even stress. So, take a good look around your bedroom ---is there something that's creating unnecessary stress ?? Is the computer in your room ? Do you do your bills in there ? Just removing some of these unnecessary things and finding another place for them, will allow for a more calming effect when you enter your bedroom----And hopefully---make it a place you want to have sex more often ! That is , when you decide to take a break from the kitchen counter ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Kace... I have a hard time finding the reruns too.Wendy.... My DH loved the photo shoot so much he asked if I would do something like that for him. I said yes, but he'd have to hang the picture in his closet. I think my kids would be shell shocked to see mom in that way. I also love the way Dr. Berman goes through the house and looks.... Our master suite has always been half done until about 2 yrs ago when I decided to redo EVERYTHING! It makes such a difference in the feeling I/we get when I/we go into our private haven. It's almost done..... I will also say, we moved the TV out of the bed area, to another part of the suite. I would encourage everyone to get that TV out of your bed area! Laundry baskets, bills, & office work should be kept out as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kace Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 I'm going to set the DVR to record everything including duplicates. I think the problem may be with the cable listings recycling the episode names rather than correcting them. Stupid TW cable...Go ahead and post your spoilers - I don't mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 I'm going to set the DVR to record everything including duplicates. I think the problem may be with the cable listings recycling the episode names rather than correcting them. Stupid TW cable...Go ahead and post your spoilers - I don't mind. Kace, we've been having many issues with out DDR system also, recording thing not requested, and not recording specific programs. I've just been checking it when I have time to, to make sure. Not sure what it is but I hope they get it straight soon, it's a pain. How about yo Wendy, any issues? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members square Posted February 26, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 26, 2011 They used to make a machine called a VCR. I think they still make them. You just set it to turn on and record 5 or 10 minutes before your show and shut off 10 minutes after, and it did a fair job a catching the whole thing. (Sorry, wise guy comment ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WendyNY Posted February 26, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted February 26, 2011 They used to make a machine called a VCR. I think they still make them. You just set it to turn on and record 5 or 10 minutes before your show and shut off 10 minutes after, and it did a fair job a catching the whole thing. (Sorry, wise guy comment )That's so funny..... Yes-- just because we have new fancier equipment these days --doesn't mean it works any better !! Well, I haven't had any problems with our DDR recording everything. ( We do have "TW " cable also) I guess you would be safe to just record it every week no matter what the title says----it does seem to be wrong lately.So, you're ok with my "spoilers" Ok----do you want to know what I was thinking about the husband ?? (and I don't want ANYONE to rip my head off for voicing my opinion---like what was done to someone else on another Topic and thread-----This is in no way implying that I am prejudice or "judgemental" because I am not ) I mean-- I had only watched a whole 20 minutes of this show when I came to the conclusion that just MAYBE---just POSSIBLY--- the husband may have been having a sexual identity struggle. There was just something about him that made me think that. Was I wrong ?? Yes obviously. (I think) I have known people though in real life who had been married for YEARS and the husband announced he was gay. Was it a shock or surprise to me ? No. I think there are lots of men who go into marriage thinking that there is something wrong with them and they can "fix" themselves by getting married. Maybe they aren't ready to deal with it (or maybe they are truly bi-sexual ). Years ago it was so much more "taboo" to be gay. People weren't open about it the way they are today. I talk very openly in my home with my children. I do not want them to be prejudiced against other people. (and if you knew the way I was raised I definitely should be----it is still a constant battle with my parents as they proclaim to be so "religious" and yet they are so hypocritical.) But, obviously I was very wrong in my thought that perhaps that is what was going on with this couple in their marriage.The husband as I mentioned was very, very sweet. He was such a nice guy. He had been feeling no sexual desire AT ALL. Dr Laura Berman pointed out that what he was feeling was what a lot of men go through--- the Madonna/Whore Complex. He couldn't separate the "Mother" from the "Sexy Woman". The wife mentioned something I think a lot of women go through as they grow up. She equated "Sex" with "Love" She had sex very very young----14. (that's young to me, as my own oldest daughter is only 1 yr younger than that !!) In her eyes, if you wanted a boy to love you --you had sex with him. Sex---- equaled-----Love. I think that's what lots of young girls still do today. They want a boy to like them or love them, so they have sex with them. In her eyes- since she and her husband weren't having sex any longer, she felt he didn't love her anymore. The wife was having Body Image issues as well. She had a new baby and she wasn't feeling very sexy at all. Dr. Laura Berman had a surprise for both of them. She took them to a photography studio. It wasn't just any photography studio though---It was "Pin-Up Photography". They specialized in makeovers and had outfits that represented the "Pin Up Girls". She looked gorgeous. The final pictures turned out beautifully and her husband was very excited about it !! One of their homework assignments was to spend time just touching each others bodies. Just being able to relax enough and feel comfortable enough to let their partner touch them was a huge step for them. This helped them and they both enjoyed it. Yes, when the show ended they were definitely in a good place.Ladylove---you should DEFINITELY have those pictures taken !!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted February 26, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 26, 2011 Ladylove---you should DEFINITELY have those pictures taken !!!! I told him I would definitely be into if he wanted to do all the leg work. I wasn't kidding that the only place I would let him hang it is in the closet, I'd only have to worry that the cleaning crew see's it....... You have children, various people in and out of your home, where would you hang the picture? I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable displaying for all to see. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WendyNY Posted February 26, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted February 26, 2011 I told him I would definitely be into if he wanted to do all the leg work. I wasn't kidding that the only place I would let him hang it is in the closet, I'd only have to worry that the cleaning crew see's it....... You have children, various people in and out of your home, where would you hang the picture? I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable displaying for all to see.Well, I don't have to worry about the cleaning crew---the only cleaning crew in my house are 11 and 13 (and it's like PULLING TEETH to get them to clean !) As long as I was wearing clothes, I would be ok with hanging it in my bedroom. I know I would have a hard time stopping my husband from bringing it to work to show off !! He actually just took some nice pictures of me in my sexy new outfit I bought a few weeks ago for him (my first real "sex outfit" ) I had never purchased one before . The pictures came out nice. They are only on the computer right now though. (I have forbidden him from bringing them to work !) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kace Posted February 28, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Go have boudoir photos made! You don't have to frame them and put them on the wall if you're not comfortable with it. My wife surprised me with her interest in having it done so long as I opted for the leather-bound photo album rather than a framed picture. It does seem a shame though - a couple of them are smokin' hot. Keeping them in a photo album seems akin to storing a Rembrandt in a trunk in the attic. It's meant to be admired! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted March 1, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 Go have boudoir photos made! You don't have to frame them and put them on the wall if you're not comfortable with it. My wife surprised me with her interest in having it done so long as I opted for the leather-bound photo album rather than a framed picture. It does seem a shame though - a couple of them are smokin' hot. Keeping them in a photo album seems akin to storing a Rembrandt in a trunk in the attic. It's meant to be admired!leather bond album... thanks, great option! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members T0920K Posted March 2, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 2, 2011 Just saw I have this channel gonna set my DVR for it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kace Posted March 4, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 4, 2011 So, what did you think of the body image episode? I think it's kind of cool that the show is bold enough to have same-sex couples.I think everyone nowadays has some part of their bodies that they feel insecure about and it holds them back. Hard not to, especially with the constant media image bombardment of physical perfection. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WendyNY Posted March 5, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 What did I think of this week's episode ?? I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT !!! This week's episode was titled "Sex, Weight Loss, and Lost Libido". I tried to add a clip of the preview of it, but there seems to be something wrong with"OWNS" website. They are not listing them the way they used to ----sorry.....What made this weeks episode even more exciting was that it was about a "same sex couple". I had a VERY hard time getting my husband to watch this episode. You see---HIS idea of same sex couples are HOT LIPSTICK LESBIANS. And well---this couple was very normal, very average and he did not want to watch it AT ALL. I know, I spoke about some people being prejudice and judging, and unfortunately that is what he was being.During the show, I had TEARS in my eyes and I think my husband was a bit touched by the episode also. Shelly had undergone gastric bypass surgery. She had dropped a considerable amount of weight. She was what you would call the "masculine" person in their relationship. She spoke about the sexual abuse she suffered while she was young. I think it went on from age 6 or so to age 8. I wanted to cry for her. I could tell my husband was feeling the same way. Her partner Rachel had also suffered a violation when she was 14. It was just so sad ! Now that Shelly was a much smaller person, she was not feeling the same way. She felt weaker and more "mouse like". She had no sexual energy. She was not happy with her body image now. Her partner Rachel was feeling left out and feeling like there was something wrong with her, because they weren't having sex like they used to. She was not happy with her body either. Dr. Laura Berman took them to an Art Studio. She had them get undressed and each had to sit upon the Art stool and let the other one observe them for 3 minutes. Then they had to take turns describing how they saw themselves and each other to a sketch artist. Of course both pictures were drastically different from each other. The way they saw themselves versus how their partner viewed them.I think we each have our own views of how we perceive ourselves and how our partner views us. I know it's taken me a long time to be confident and feel beautiful. (and I don't always feel that way) My husband and I had gone to see my daughter's orchestra concert the other night. As we left I said "Wow, look at all the hot mothers here". He leaned over and put his arm around me and said "What do you mean ??? YOU'RE one of the "hot mothers" too !! "No matter how we see ourselves, we have to believe that what our partner says about us is true. We all need to love ourselves just the way we are. There is something special and unique about each one of us. After all, there must be something special about us that drew our partners to us in the first place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kace Posted March 7, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 Losing a bunch of weight will certainly change your body image - sometimes in a positive way and sometimes negative. My wife lost a significant abount of weight through diet and lots of exercise. I though she looked fine before but now she looks fantastic. She still doesn't believe it yet but she's coming around. She's pregnant and you'd NEVER know it. I'm sure that'll change in a few weeks but it won't change how attractive she is. I think with enough reinforcement from people other than me she'll get it. This week's episode should get recorded tonight, can't wait. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.