Here's An Update Of My Marriage

[Tyger]

Ready responded to my "Irritable" post, and tonight, well, the shit hit the fan, though the fan was on "low" right now.

So, here I am, at 12:16 a.m. I have to work in the morning, and hubby decides to zing me again via text message. He got pissed cuz I had told him to hang the clothes that he didn't need to wear, and just use the dryer for the clothes he needed tonight. He sulked, got up, bitched under his breath, and took a set of clothes out put them in the dryer, and left the rest in the washer. I texted him after he left and said "oh, yes honey, I'll hang the clothes you left in the washer, since I haven't been doing anything on my vacation anyway." Yes, you can feel the sarcasm dripping there. He texted back going all drama on me, saying how he thinks I never listen to him, he must be soooo terrible that I'm so miserable, and that I just don't understand anything. Near the end of the texts, he tells me that he thinks we need a break, and he'll have his stuff out by the time I get back from work tomorrow. Oh, yes, awesome. Way to listen and try to work things out. The bad thing? I teared up only once. I don't know if this break will actually happen. He's told me before that if he ever left, there'd be no coming back. And, you know, I think I'm ok with that. Is that bad of me? I'm I such a horrible, terrible bitch that I don't care? Should I be more upset? I'm tired of always defending his inactions, laziness, stubbornness, and half-assed projects. He tells everyone else about his aspirations, and plans, and I'm always looking stupid cuz I'm the last person to know, and as his WIFE, you'd think I'd be the FIRST. He rarely talks TO me anymore. Then he wonders why we haven't had sex in 3 months! Yes, that's right, no sex. I keep reminding him that if he wants me to want him, he has to actually interact with me. Otherwise, it's just a fuck, and, though that's fun sometimes even when married, not every time!!

He had to leave the truck driving job due to the company stealing money out of his check, which we found out they were doing to other owner-operators, and have a suit filed against them which we have joined. So, he was out of work for 3 months. Doing nothing but stewing, sitting around playing video games, and not helping around the house. Now, he's got a temp job working security, and it's good money, which has helped ease some stress.

He's been in a lot of pain. He's looking into suing the insurance company since they're denying him any more proceedures, like MRI's and x-rays, so the dr can seek another form of treatment. They'd rather just dope him up & kill his liver instead of actually HELPING him. I think this is one of the biggest issues in our marriage. He doesn't hear how he talks to me, and most of the time, I can say "he's in pain, it's not me, he's in pain", but there are times when I just CAN'T do that. Is that wrong of me? I've brought this up a lot, letting him know that how he treats me, is how I'm going to react to him, and he just doesn't get it. I know I'm not the easiest person to live with. I accept that. However, how much does he truly expect me to take?? Does he forget that this was NOT the area I wanted to settle down in? I wanted to move to the Austin area, or around it actually, to be closer to my friends I have there. That I came here for HIM? I stopped talking to my male best friend as much because I knew it bothered him-totally my choice, but does he remember that? Does he forget that I stayed at home longer than intended to keep house for him and our child? Does he forget that he's been married 3 times, and maybe it's not just the women that are the problem here??? He said that he'd provided well for me in the past, which I've never denied. However, becoming in debt to the IRS, finding out how much he truly owed in back child support, and him taking loans out when I told him it was a bad idea, how good have we truly had it? Am I over-thinking this? And, if the seperation does happen, I KNOW I'll have to be the lucky one to tell our daughter. I doubt that he'll want to bother with helping me out with that lovely bit of information. Happy freakin' New Year to me, huh? I knew it was going to be bad when I texted that first one. And, honestly, I didn't care. I'm tired of him acting like me asking him to stop and not do something (like use the power-hungry dryer) is SUCH a put-out. I didn't ask him this last time, cuz I knew he'd just go and do it anyway, I told him. After 9 3/4 yrs, I TOLD him. And he hated it. Wah. I hang everything to dry, to save money, and then just "fluff" it when they're dry, or almost dry. I've asked him to do this all our marriage. It's cut back on the bill A LOT. As has ME winterizing the house underneath, and making sure all the cracks in doorjams, and old aluminum windows are sealed one way or another in this old cedar house. And now, tomorrow, I get to go to work, and try to focus on my job, which is going to be a good thing, but hard at the same time.

For those of you that have my cell #, feel free to text me. I won't be able to do much more than that, since I don't want our daughter hearing stuff, and I don't think I can talk about this verbally yet.

I don't know what will happen. Though, my mother has always said that if I ever need to leave, then I will ALWAYS have help, so I guess I'll have to rely on her once again, damnit.

Thanks for reading. This forum has been a god-send to me, and sometimes I just babble. Sorry! Tyger will be ok. Just another bump in the road. Love to you all.

[ReadyToMoveOn]

At first when I read this, I may have misunderstood your words. I thought because I had replied to your earlier thread "Irritable" some type of argument had ensued as a result of the thread being brought back up...

Im sorry for your troubles "Tyger"...You seem like a smart and sexy young woman. I dont know you at all, only what Ive read here within some posts and threads which youve posted within, from these alone and how you've enteracted with others here, I make my judgement.

I know the heartache you speak of, My divorce and the events leading up to it, were very painful, still are to this day. But as my screen name suggests, Im Ready To Move On. Im not suggesting this is your destiny with your DH, only merely stating I know what you are living through now. Its not an easy road.

You seem to be a strong woman, you will survive, and you will be a better person for it. It doesnt help much now, but it will later in life.

I wish you well with which ever road you choose to travel in life. You will be ok, you will !!

[ladylove]

I'm so sorry for all your troubles Tyger. I hope you'll find peace and happiness at the end of all this torment.

[square]

Sorry.

[Tyger]

After I'd posted the initial thread, he texted me again, saying that he'd give it until his Mom left (she comes on Friday, and is going to be down for 2 or 3 wks, I can't remember) and if things weren't better by then (as if), then we'd go from there. I'm not very optimistic at this point. I'm tired of being taken for granted.

Sorry if I wasn't overly clear. It was about this time when I wrote it, and well, I was a bit upset, though not as much as I think I should be.......no, no responses on here triggered anything new. I'd said that Ready had responded to my "Irritable" post, and since it was an update, I thought I'd start a new thread. Sorry for any confusion. And thank you for the kind words. I almost blushed when I read "you're a sexy young woman". LOL Thanks for that.

I still have no idea what's going on, and probably will be in limbo for a while. We've been having issues for probably 3 yrs, but real serious ones after he had his accident. I don't blame him for getting hurt. Far from it. I've been overly supportive during this whole thing. Though I can't truly understand what sort of pain he's in, since my back pain isn't as severe as his, I do share in his frustration with the damn insurance companies that'd rather kill his liver than help HEAL him as much as he can be healed.

To add to the insult I feel he's been pulling, he washed and dried all his clothes (drying in the dryer), knowing how I don't want him to do that, to save energy/$$. It was blatant. He's like a prima-donna, his way and he doesn't care who it hurts or inconveniences. I'm tired of being the one to sacrifice to survive. He refuses to do it. Another example of this: he told me last week he was going to purchase the matching cabinet for the kitchen (which he started to redo 2 yrs ago, and it's still not done), instead, he buys a rifle because of some threats he heard some kids making. Oh yes, the 2 pistols, paintball guns, shotgun, and pellet pistol won't be enough, so let's get another firearm instead of something sensible & promised. Or, even better, fix my car that's making noises in the back! That's not as important as a freakin' rifle.

Now, my horse and my daughter's horse got loose today, someone called animal control, and they picked them up. This neighbor knew what property they belonged on, and instead of calling (which she has the number), to be spiteful, she had them picked up. Though I appreciate that they're safe, I don't know if we can even afford to get them out, or if I will have to surrender those as well.

And on a more personal note, not only did I go back to work today (had 2 wks off because I work at a school), I started "Aunt Flo" today. Yes, thank you sooooo much Mother Nature. You suck too.

So far, 2012 has started of pretty crappy for me. Someone please take away this negative mojo around me. Thanks!!!

[ReadyToMoveOn]

You do exhume Sexiness, So I believe my perception is Spot On, you are a Sexy Young Woman. Be proud!

Take time, have talks with Him when its possible, if your relationship is salvageable, do what needs to be done, but it has be from both you and your DH.

I wish you the best Tyger. Stay Strong!

[Tyger]

We got the horses back, only cost us $75, no fine, and no boarding fee this time, thankfully. Though hubby wanted me to just forget about them, saying they're not worth it. Um, he's the one that insisted on them in the first place, but now that he doesn't have a horse of his own, for obvious back reasons, he doesn't care about them really. Nice.

We didn't we talk today much at all. He's out of his pain meds, so anything I say is just going to piss him off, which isn't fair to me, but I know when it's not a good idea. I'm still not very optimistic, and I've already started drafting a "His & Hers" list in case we split.

Trust me, I have tried hard to talk & work it out, for 3 yrs, however, when you're the only one working on a marriage, it's not going to work out very well. His selfishness knows no bounds, and I'm tired of the only one to sacrifce things I want, need, or should have because he "needs" a gun, or a new DVD, or more cigs. He refuses to think about stuff in advance, like bills, and how what we do makes them higher. I have no life, I don't go out or socialize, due to our daughter. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my child and would die for her, however, a girl's night out maybe once a year is a bit pathetic. And when I DO go out with the girls, he calls 10-15 times, in a 4 hour period. Really. I WISH I was exagerrating! My friends have stopped asking me to go do things because I rarely ever have ME time. Then, when I GET ME time, he has to barge in, interupt, call, or be as annoying as possible. I've told him that ME times means that unless there's an emergency, leave ME alone.

I know, right now, I probably sound a bit selfish. But, if you knew me in RL, all I do is take DD to karate, work at her school, come home, clean, and every once in a while, get on the internet to peruse here and Facebook. Sometimes, I get all wild and take pictures. LOL

[ReadyToMoveOn]

We got the horses back, only cost us $75, no fine, and no boarding fee this time, thankfully. Though hubby wanted me to just forget about them, saying they're not worth it. Um, he's the one that insisted on them in the first place, but now that he doesn't have a horse of his own, for obvious back reasons, he doesn't care about them really. Nice.

We didn't we talk today much at all. He's out of his pain meds, so anything I say is just going to piss him off, which isn't fair to me, but I know when it's not a good idea. I'm still not very optimistic, and I've already started drafting a "His & Hers" list in case we split.

Trust me, I have tried hard to talk & work it out, for 3 yrs, however, when you're the only one working on a marriage, it's not going to work out very well. His selfishness knows no bounds, and I'm tired of the only one to sacrifce things I want, need, or should have because he "needs" a gun, or a new DVD, or more cigs. He refuses to think about stuff in advance, like bills, and how what we do makes them higher. I have no life, I don't go out or socialize, due to our daughter. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my child and would die for her, however, a girl's night out maybe once a year is a bit pathetic. And when I DO go out with the girls, he calls 10-15 times, in a 4 hour period. Really. I WISH I was exagerrating! My friends have stopped asking me to go do things because I rarely ever have ME time. Then, when I GET ME time, he has to barge in, interupt, call, or be as annoying as possible. I've told him that ME times means that unless there's an emergency, leave ME alone.

I know, right now, I probably sound a bit selfish. But, if you knew me in RL, all I do is take DD to karate, work at her school, come home, clean, and every once in a while, get on the internet to peruse here and Facebook. Sometimes, I get all wild and take pictures. LOL

It doesnt good if there is not much communication, and when there is communication only one side is willing to make the needed sacrifices.

Im no counselor, but I was married for many years. I do know both partners have to willing to make sacrifices to make the relationship work.

Anyhow, Im sorry to hear your marriage has deteriorated as much. Hopefully it works out which ever way is best for you and your child.

Best of Luck Tyger !!!

[square]

I can relate at least a little bit; raising a kid/kids and taking care of a house is a two-person job, full time. When all you do is work and feed kids and clean up and tackle the endless supply of dirty dishes and laundry and feed the pets and take out the garbage and fix this and that and . . ., and especially when the other half is slacking off, plus throw in the stress of trying to make ends meet, you end up burnt out, use up all the happy chemicals in your brain, and can have yourself a nice little meltdown.

And add in the frustrations when no one listens to you. (Is it really that tough to keep the main house doors shut when it's 10 degrees out and oil is $3.50 a gallon?)

A person needs to be a little selfish and make some "me" time for their own sanity. No need to feel guilty about it. And if you don't have time to get everything done that needs doing, you need to find a way to let go of the less important or less immediate ones.

[Tyger]

Well, a couple of weeks later, and I think things are picking up. My husband has been showing signs of taking things to heart that I've said. My car now has new brakes, and the sound has let up a bit, which he thinks that it'll get better in a few days of driving. He's a mechanic, so hopefully he's right. The kitchen's about 90% done, instead of the 50% it was when I first wrote. We've been out to dinner a few times, as a family, and he seems to be making an effort to talk more.

I'm hoping his mother's visit isn't the only thing spurring on all the stuff that needed to get done, done, and that he's putting on a front for her high standards.

I'm cautiously optimistic, but not overly so.

Either way, I'll be ok, and I'll figure things out as they come. I'm not dreamy-eyed, but realistic.

My modem's been acting funny, even more so, and I need to get off my lazy butt and just switch it out to diagnose it better. Though it's working well right now, so YAY! LOL

Thanks to all that's been reading, hoping, and waiting for an update. Your support, messages, and encouragement's meant a lot to me.

[mystofpric]

El Tygre, I just read this so forgive me for being so far behind! First, I'm always on facebook and my number is on there so if you ever want to vent, please feel free! Second, I'm probably moving to Texas next year (about this time) so I promise, if your up to it, we'll have girl time even if it means taking DD with us I mean, she is a girl after all! and three, you do so much for you family between work and the all nighter painting (i saw that!) you deserve so much more! I really do hope he's trying and has truly seen the error of his ways!

[ladylove]

I'm probably moving to Texas next year (about this time)

You will love it, once you get over that culture shock.... It's different, but delightful.

[mystofpric]

You will love it, once you get over that culture shock.... It's different, but delightful.

I was there at Christmas, and its a far cry from the frozen north! I just recently found my dad and he lives there along with all of his family! SO I'm stoked. I'll be about 1/2 way between Austin and San Antonio. So El Tygre, I'll only be a phone call (followed by a bit of a drive) away

[ladylove]

I was there at Christmas, and its a far cry from the frozen north! I just recently found my dad and he lives there along with all of his family! SO I'm stoked. I'll be about 1/2 way between Austin and San Antonio. So El Tygre, I'll only be a phone call (followed by a bit of a drive) away

What's taking you there?

And Suzy, visiting is nothing like living there. Trust me on that. It's not only about the weather, it's a hole different way of life that we in the NE are not use to. As different as it was, I feel head over heals in love with it and was devastated to have to leave. Obviously got over that and am happy here closer to family.

[Tyger]

Well, here it is, 3 mos later, and, unfortunately, things are going back to the way they were.

He refuses to talk with his doctor. He had spasms going thru his back to his chest yesterday, and then, last night, he just passed out on the floor of the bathroom after we had a fight. I've looked up side-effects from long-term usage of hydrocodone, and some of the stuff he's been experiencing is spot-on. He's on a high dose of it due to his back. But, he acts like I don't know what I'm talking about. My sister even gave him some herbal stuff that helped when she hurt her rotator cuff, and got her off the meds. He said "I don't believe in that shit", without even trying it. I asked him where he thought "modern" medicine came from? Oh, right! It's that herbal shit!

I'm tired of being the only one stressing about $$. I ask him to go get MILK of all things the other day, and he can't do that, but OMG, he always has a bottle of Pepsi, and cigs. Yes, that's helpful. Thank you soooo much, Mr. Selfish. I'm living on ramen, so DD can eat, but he has to have soda and cigs. Yes, thanks for your support.

I'm ashamed and proud (at the same time) to say that I wasn't overly nice last night. I told him that I thought his philosophy showed him to be a hypocrite. After all, HE was the one to say that whomever wasn't working, should do the majority of the housework. I guess he forgot to mention that he thinks that's only if you are female, cuz I'm not seeing much housework done on his part at all. I slacked off the last month or so, to see if he'd pick it up a bit. Nope.

He said I pissed him off. I told him I didn't give a shit if I pissed him off, insulted him, or whatever. I just didn't care anymore. It was quite a shock. I really didn't care!

I'm tired of complaining about the same things over and over again.

He said I should be more appreciative since he took care of us for a long time while DD was little. I told him not to ever try throwing that in my face (when we first discussed having a baby), and when he did, I went off on him. I have almost always worked. The first 2 yrs of DD's life, I didn't, but after that, to make sure the family had $$, I worked part-time. So, he can't say that he's fully supported us for a looong time. His bragging rights for that ended 7 yrs ago, TYVM.

I told him that I have been overly understanding and sympathetic with his back. It's been 3 yrs (almost 4) since his accident, and I've done research, asked to go see his dr with him (he refuses), try to get him to stretch/move around so he won't stiffen up. I get nothing from him. Just "I hurt, I can't, you don't understand". I'm sure he's depressed, but if he won't help himself, how the hell am I suppose to deal with that? I have a child to worry about, and I can't baby an adult anymore. If he refuses to take steps to help himself, nobody else can help him.

Yesterday morning, before I blew up at him, he looked down at my legs (in shorts) & asked if I had thought of tanning. WTF? I asked him where the $$ would come for that. He said the sun's free. Nice. I asked him if he ever thought of quitting smoking, since that DOES cost $$ that I have no idea where he's getting it from, cuz he's sure as hell not contributing here financially! That ended that part of the conversation.

Then he said "I hate that shirt", I was wearing a cotton turquoise colored shirt, non-form-fitting. I told him not to wear it then. He gave me a dirty look and I said, well, I hate those yellow shorts of yours too (they'd make Tom Selleck blush when he was on Magnum PI!!!). Then he asked DD who was the better cook. HUH?? Out of the blue, asked her who was the better cook???? I don't LIKE to cook, never have, and have always been VERY honest about that. But you don't ask a kid that. I KNOW he's a better cook in many things (not everything). I looked at him and asked him if there was anything else he wanted to insult me with before I went to work?

The last thing he did that pissed me right the fuck off was take his fingers and flick my boob. I'm sorry, but I'm almost 40 yrs old *gasp*, and I find that immature and stupid, not to mention disrespectful since he KNOWS I HATE that. I had grabbed a magazine in play, and swung it at his head the second time, again, in play. The third time, after telling him not to do that, I instinctively/defensively swung and grazed the corner of his eye with the pages. I DID apologize about hitting him in the eye, but not for swinging a magazine at his face. Again, I apologized for getting his eye, I know that it hurt, but I'm tired of the disrespectful behavior all around. Ever since I had DD, and I am proud to say that I breastfed her for a full year, my boobs don't wanna be touched, fondled, tweaked or sucked on anymore. Nope, I'm good. They're just aestetically pleasing now, TYVM. He KNOWS this. I let him suck on them a bit here and there during sex, but it does NOTHING but irritate me now.

He doesn't TALK TO me. He talks to everyone else, and if I happen to be in the room, I hear stuff. But as far as him talking TO me, it doesn't happen. He internalizes. I'm tired of having my paycheck gone before I get it, and I get physically ill around payday. It's ridiculous. He says I'm being ridiculous. Really? Who's in the ugly Tom Selleck shorts again? LMAO

He keeps thinking that he is going to become a cop. Not with those spasms he's been having, nor him passing out, he won't. He won't accept reality. I told him that I hope he has a back up plan (when we weren't fighting), because if this didn't work out due to his back, I didn't want his depression to get worse. Of course he denied any depression, and said I wasn't being supportive enough.

Let me clue you in to a secret, I'm not an overly gush-y type person. Sunshine & lollipops don't happen all the damn time. Realism does. I can only be supportive if I know there's a good chance of success. I don't see it with him being a cop. I just don't. Maybe that's wrong of me, but so be it if it is.

Thankfully, most of the time, when we argue, DD isn't even in the room, or awake, for that matter. So she doesn't hear it. Believe me, if she did, she'd let me know. She doesn't hold much back either. Not sure where she got that from.....LOL

I KNOW I'm sometimes hard to live with. I admit it freely. However, I don't ask much of him. Take care of the trash (it's full right now inside and out), pick up after yourself. Hang things up, don't leave your clothes laying around, do the dishes sometimes (more than once a month). Wow, that's terrible of me, huh? He said "I take care of the lawn". Big freakin' whoop. I actually said that too. I told him that I could mow the damn lawn, I needed more help. I work, take DD to karate, come home, clean, get things ready for the next day, pay bills, get groceries, take care of the pets most of the time. I'm damn tired. Go figure! If you're a FB friend of mine, you know all of this.

Tonight, I come home, and he'd shaved his head. I don't really believe a back spasm made him twitch when he tried trimming his hairline, since he usually asks me to do that for him (raising his arms hurts anyway). He KNOWS I HATE bald, at least on white guys (not being racist or anything, just preferences). I feel as though it was a dig. Usually, my first impressions are right, so I'm just going with that.

Anyway, I'm not overly optimistic anymore. I gave him credit about finishing the kitchen, but I'm not going to preen him for a year for that, since I waited almost 3 yrs for him to do it! I told him I expected more help, and less seeing him on the fuckin' XBox online. I'm tired. I'm tired......

Thanks for reading my soap opera yet again. I don't even wanna go lay down beside him. I'm so irritated/pissed off/disappointed in him, it's unreal. I can't help him if he can't try to help himself. I'm not going to beg to do so either. I. Don't. Beg. I'm too old for that crap. I told him last night, if he quits on us, that's on him, but I'm done being the only one truly working around here. He needs to get up and do SOMETHING. Whether it's going for disability, or what. Something is better than nothing!

[Tyger]

Oh, BTW, SuzyP, I'd LOVE to meet you in person!! Bring it!!! <3

[Sunday]

Tyger, I've read the story of your problems with DH. I also read your review of the 7" assbuster double dildo in which you talked about how much pleasure the two of you have together.

How does that work with the two of you, that you are so pissed at each other and still able to have such apparently enjoyable sex play? Do you just mentally suspend the problems for a while?

When any of my relationships went south, the first thing to go was the sex. I'm sure some of them wanted to shove a 7" dildo up my ass, but it wouldn't have been for fun.

[Tyger]

Bwuahahahahaa!!! Sometimes, you just need the release. We can put our differences aside for a little while, but the stuff creeps in, that's for sure.

[ladylove]

Bwuahahahahaa!!! Sometimes, you just need the release. We can put our differences aside for a little while, but the stuff creeps in, that's for sure.

Do you still like him?; Love him?

[Tyger]

To be honest, I'm not sure.

[JJ_Amie]

I have followed your post. I can say that Amie and I went through a lot of this a couple of years ago. She had a lot on her and out of the blue, my company let me go. She was working, I was looking for work, She was paying the bills, cleaning and taking care of our daughter. I had checked out mentally. I didn't talk to to her about what was going on in my head either. Here is what was going on in my head: I no longer felt like a man. I couldn't tell her that though. And it turned into 3 months and we hadn't even kissed passionatly. Finally I got mad and yelled at her and three months of frustation blew up at me in about 30 minutes. I was so mad, but I listened to her. She is the love of my life and I had been shutting her out, not being her partner. I started by making myself a list of things to do (Chore List). I cooked supper (she hates to cook too) I tried to clean dishes as I cooked, she cleaned up after supper. I went back to giving DD and putting her to bed. I helped with the cleaning and made sure to do a load of laundry on tuesday and friday. I was still hurting and didn't want to talk, but she understood and loved me anyway.

I can't make him listen, but you know deep down how to get his attention. Yelling doesn't get the results you are looking for, so what will work? How long have ya'll just talked about what your daughter is doing in school?

I don't know what to say about the pain pills or the nipple flipping, but I can speak to the core of this from experience.

[ladylove]

To be honest, I'm not sure.

This is the first thing you need to do for yourself.

I think you need to separate your anger and hurt to decided this first, to be able to make a clear headed decision; Can you and will you want to work hard enough to get through this if you/he deem it fixable. If you decide to stay will you both be able to move past this and not hold on to any of the hurt and pain in the future.... so much to consider.

If you would prefer to pm me, or not it's up to you. However I do believe you need to separate your feelings first before making any life changes. Separating your hurt from your anger is a very difficult thing to do. Remember there are 3 sides to everything, yours, his, and the neutral. If you think you have already done this, have you tried to see thing from your mans point of view and not yours, has he tried to see things from your point of view? Will you consider going to a marriage councilor or clergy for marital help? In the long run what's best for you, for him and your child.

If you decide you no longer want to be married, who will get custody of the child. You have all kinds of difficult choices and decisions to make.

II know you've been living this for a long time, just things to consider.

[ReadyToMoveOn]

Tyger, Ive read your postings/blogs on how your relationship with your DH has had its share of Peaks and Valleys...I believe Im the one who summoned up your old thread...

Anyhow, I hope the best for you, if that means things work out between the two of you, great...But it could also mean moving on, whichever is best for you...

I wish you happiness Tyger...

[ladylove]

How are you doing with all this?

[Tyger]

Well, I know that I'm being less tolerant of stuff, and irritable. As easy as it is to say "just leave", it's not that easy when there's a family involved. I just don't really like him as a person that much anymore. I have a feeling we won't make it to our 11th wedding anniversary. We just celebrated our 10th a few weeks ago though. He surprised me with a pretty sterling silver forever loop ring with cz's though. I'm getting frustrated because everytime we seem to start catching up on bills, something big happens which sets us back. For example, I was able to negotiate with the IRS & got our debt erased. But it was HIS error for not filing for that year, yet I am the one to stress out about it, and take care of it.

He's caught up on his back ue child support, and he has a job. It's not a great paying one, but it's more than the nothing he was bringing in before! Today, he got into an altercation at work, which he had witnesses that said it wasn't his fault, but the other guy's, and the other guy kicked him when he was down, and stomped on his left leg, breaking the lower femur, in a spiralling fracture. The place he works at doesn't have insurance, & neither do we. Awesome. His work will let him come back, so long so long as he sits.

I have to plan ahead, because this house belongs to his parents. He. May leave temporary, but I know I will have to leave soon after.

Frustrated because I feel like I'm the only one to take care of stuff, including cleaning.Every I try to talk with him, he sulks, tries to play a blame-game, like a child, or doesn't want to talk about it.

Anyway, updates will come when there's more. Thanks for asking though. *muah*