Are You F'n Kidding Me?

[Tyger]

Here I am, trying to be the better person in all of this divorce/custody nonsense...and the jerk tells our daughter "don't tell your mother I let you watch these movies". No, it's not porn, but it's part of The Walking Dead series about zombies. Our daughter is almost 11, and she gets nightmares from watching these things, and he knows I don't want her watching them, but of course, I'm being "ridicuous", so he allows her do so anyway.

She confesses to me tonight that she watched them, and BEGGED me not to get onto her father about it. I found out why when I was standing outside her bedroom door while she said goodnight to him on the phone. I heard her tell him that she had told me about the dvd watching, and then I heard her say "I know, but I don't like lying Daddy". Seriously???

I went in there to retrieve my cell phone & told her though I wouldn't get onto him about the zombie movies, since she was honest about it, I was going to talk with him about the keeping things from me deal, since it's unfair to her to have either one of us ask her to do this, and it's not right, and that I appreciated her honesty, and that I was thankful that she did the right thing. She didn't like it, but I think she understands where I'm coming from. I tell her all the time that everything I do is for her benefit & well-being.

I know she wants us to get along all of the time, but this will be the third conversation I've had with him about over-stepping boundries. The first one, I opened up the conversation by telling him that I wasn't going to be the type of ex that was going to scream, throw a tantrum, or bad mouth him. I would discuss things, and let him know when the boundries had been crossed, even though I know he'd hate it, it was for the better of each of our parenting skills. I'm trying very hard to keep the doors of communication opened so that there will be no misunderstandings.

He hasn't ever liked it when I call him out on his shit, but I've over looked a lot of crap, but I refuse to do so when it comes to my child's well-being and self-esteem. He knows I won't tolerate bullshit or lies anymore as well.

So, when I called I told him that she had told me about the movie he allowed her to watch, and not to tell me about it. He said that he was just joking with her, and explained that to her. I told him that she will take things anyone says to her to heart, and that he shouldn't have done that. He told me to back off. I never raised my voice, swore, or anything. I told him no, I wasn't going to back off when it concerns my daughter. He came back with the childish response that she's his child too, and I needed to back off and not get an attitude.

Now, see, a lesser woman would've risen to the bait, and screamed at him, but I didn't. I told him, no, I wasn't going to back off, and I COULD get an attitude if he REALLY wanted me to do so, but I was telling him this so that he would know not to put her in this sort of situation, since she wasn't able to fall asleep, because she was feeling guilty. I've taught her that adults never ask a child not to tell their parents something, and if someone does say that to the child, to tell her parents immediately. That's because I'm such a TERRIBLE parent and all.......

Anyway, my daughter finally was able to fall asleep, I was civil to her father, and said what I needed to say without drama, cussing, or insults. I guess that makes me a total bitch? LOL

[mailahn97]

I know how hard it is to stay civil. I have been through the same things with my ex. A lot of times he has let her do things that he knows she shouldn't do but he tries to make himself look like a more fun and better parent in her eyes so he does that. Our girls are close in age so I know where you are coming from. Everything is so black and white with them there is no gray area but unfortunately the ex doesn't understand that. Now recently he got engaged for the second time in the 2.5 years that we have been divorced and now I have some woman trying to get in the middle saying my daughter needs to wait to tell her father things until she is with her dad instead of texting them during their time. What a joke and that the 63 in support a week should cover everything. She is mad that he signed an agreement to pay 50% of childcare which is figured out every two weeks when he gets paid. She is mad and thinks that should come out of the support. Oh please. If you ever need to vent let me know.

[Tyger]

Thanks, I appreciate that. It's very frustrating to say the least, but, overall, I feel pretty good about how I'm handling all of this. So, though I do get pissed off, he can't say (with honesty), that I'm unreasonable, stupid, or causing him lots of trouble.

[highlander]

Hey Tyger, long time no see. I'm sure you don't remember me, I've been away in the UK for the last 3 years. But you, as well as a few of the other super ladies that I use to enjoy posting with, are unforgettable. Seems much has changed. Sorry to hear that you're single. (Okay, I have to be honest, there's a part of me that is like YES!!! Tyger is available. Hungry like the wolf started playing in my head and I was on the hunt and after you.) Ironically my favorite Tigers ( the ones from Clemson ) are playing the Wolfpack. Now I hope the Tigers devour the Wolfpack. Ok, that would be true in the our case too.

Anyway to get back on topic. I'm with you all the way here, I came from a broken home and it's never a good idea for parents to tell their kids to lie to the other parent. I know that there's a cute commercial that makes fun of this. But in the real world, it's not cool. Kudos for standing your ground and staying strong in a stressful situation. I'm sure it was very difficult to take the high road as the victim, so to speak, in this situation. Hopefully your ex got the message.

Now to get back to flirting (breaking into my best Joey impersonation) How You doing it's nice to be back. I could do this all night long.

[Tyger]

LOL Thanks highlander! Welcome back!!! You made my night, thank you!! and, hey *nods head slighly upwards* How YOU doin'? :-P

[highlander]

*Love struck, he stands in stunned silence as he realizes he's been noticed by the beautiful tygress. Blood starts to rush to his...... face as he stammers for the right words to say...

Okay I can't concentrate. I was watching family feud while trying to finish this post and the question was "name something that might be fun to jump on naked"? Without hesitation the guy said "wife". which the host high-fives him...twice. Shockingly mate was the number 4 answer. ( my answer was Tyger ) I mean the bed ( with Tyger). I can't stop. I better just hit send.

[Tyger]

LOL Highlander!! You're hilarious!!! Thanks!!!

[highlander]

I'm glad I made you laugh. sweet dreams