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Harpy6

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Hello, I'm completely new to this whole thing. And by thing I mean anything from toys to well everything. I have never even played with myself...unless my husband and I were already engaged in sex. I'm happy to announce I purchased 3 items for the first time ever. I will have to look around at some of the other threads because there is so much to learn.

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Just to add to my already sad start...I'm not even aware of all the things that can be done sexually. I'm aware of vaginal play and anal play...but that pretty much it. I'm looking for new and exciting ways to enjoy things with my husband. I have only recently started to let him play with my butt. He is very respectful of how I feel about things. I want to explore new things with him but I'm scared that he won't want to do other things that we already enjoy. I have been scared to do anal just for the fact that I'm afraid he would rather do that. Did I mention my husband told me when we were dating that he was bi-sexual. I think I just have a fear that he wants to be with other people(or men) then with me. This is probably more then needed to be shared but who better to help then people on here who have probably experienced what I'm feeling.

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First - welcome to the forum. Those on here tend to be friendly, non-judgmental and wiling to share answers or experiences with you. There is so much to explore sexually, from vaginal and anal play to sensate touching and temperature play and more. If you are new to all of this I recommend starting slow. Try out some of your milder fantasies, relax and focus on pleasure and enjoyment. Have open honest talks with your husband about what you would like to try/do/experiment with. Personally I wouldn't be overly concerned that your husband would only want anal intercourse. If he is true to you he will want you to have pleasure. I believe we all choose our partner willingly and if he chose you then he wants to be with you no matter his sexual orientation. I know this can be a strange new universe at times. I encourage you to ask any questions you may have and take what works for you while leaving the rest. Enjoy your new experiences and I hope you find pleasure.

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Welcome......I agree RC4BLUE.....take things slow.....do not be afraid to try new thing because you can find so many different things to do. Be creative and ease up on saying no before you try it and be honest. If you don't like something make sure you tell the hubby. Always use plenty of lube and you will be having fun in no time, wondering why I waited so long to try something new.

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  • 3 weeks later...
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He has told me that he thinks about anal all the time. That is what worries me. He has enjoined using some of the toys I bought. And I enjoy them because he seemed so excited to try them out. He was wanting a remote controlled vibrater to use on my. I didn't know what to look for.

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What are you worried about? Him using toys?

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No I'm worried all he will want is anal. I'm all for exploring and see what feels great but he seems to just be fixated on putting it to my ass. Seeing as I'm an anal virgin.

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Tell him if he wants to fuck you in the ass then you get to fuck him and see what he says.

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I should. But I am just getting him to open up and tell me things he wants to donor try. He and I have been together for almost 8 yrs and 4 yrs married. He has just started with telling me when he would like a bj. Which he knows I enjoy giving him. I hate being the one to decide what we do all the time. Which is why Im trying hard to explore anal.

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You need to tell him you want to get a strap-on and fuck him. I can't fuck my girl in the ass, my cocks too thick. I let her fuck me sometimes and she love pumping me :)

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I should. But I am just getting him to open up and tell me things he wants to donor try. He and I have been together for almost 8 yrs and 4 yrs married. He has just started with telling me when he would like a bj. Which he knows I enjoy giving him. I hate being the one to decide what we do all the time. Which is why Im trying hard to explore anal.

if you try anal toys, be careful , don't put anything in that is small or short I mean , it could get stuck and that would not be good. Like butt plugs,I've heard bad stories about them. Now a long dildo in the ass is not as likely to get lost :)
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Thanks. But that's not really appealing to me. I'm still to new to using anything. I mean I have never masturbated. I'm going to be 24 and I used my first toy ever a couple weeks ago. I'm trying to be adventurous and see what he wants to do. He doesn't even have any fantasies. Or at least he won't share them with me

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O , ok I didn't realize that. Well if you have never masturbated then you don't need anal yet. Wait until you have worn out you pussy some with all kinds of vibrators and dildos before you go anal. Lol !!! You need to start making him eat your pussy and then get into toys , like rabbits and vibrators, you will cum you ass off :))

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Yea its hard for me to get him to do stuff like eat me. Plus he doesn't have a high stamina. Which makes it hard to have long sessions of rough sex. Which I would love and he is still timid about being rough...like I want my ass smacked and I get like the playful butt slap. Maybe I'm just more comfortable with what I want...It's almost like I have to spell it out for him...which does take some of the fun out of it. He also won't talk dirty either...like I could text him about how I want to suck on him til my lips feel numb and I get back sounds good

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It sounds like he's not into you. Your going to have to have a talk with him and tell him you want to be fuck hard and spanked , get him some cock rings and when he fucks you his cock will stay hard longer . Do you see my cock , I got at least 50 different cock rings, when he finds the right size you will know, that bitch will be throbbing hard and he will last longer. :)).

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Tell him you want him to treat you like a slut when you are in bed. Tell him what you need , not want, demand that he fucks the shit out of you and that if he doesn't that he must be a little pussy or something. Get him a cock pump too, that with cock rings will get his cock hard and thicker and he should fell good about fucking you, I let some of my girlfriends pump up my cock for me , they like watching it grow :))

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That's what my concern is. That he isn't attracted to me. Sometimes it feels like I'm just being used for him to get off quickly. Or that he is bored with me. I'm usually craving sex and I have to fight with him most of the time to get it.

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Awe, I'm sorry, yea you shouldn't have to do that. Well that's something you are going to have to figure out. Have you tried sexy clothes , like a teddy ? If so I don't know, does he hurry up and but a nut and then lays over?

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Dam baby , I think you are getting really really HORNY!!!!

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The amount of time that we had sex was 30mins. And usually he wants me to get off right away so then he can get off. Then he gets on his phone and plays games

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No I'm not horny...but it's nice to have someone to listen to what I want and isn't timid about it. Your cock pictures make me horny though

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I sent you a personal message, did you get it?

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Wow this exchange is intense. Harpy6 I am happy that you know what you want. That is a great place to start your sexual adventure. Unfortunately if your partner is not on the same journey it is difficult. It does leave me asking if he may have low sexual desire or some other problem with sex. I know that the common view is that men always want sex and women are less interested. That is an out dated view. There are a large number of men that experience low desire. If that is the case treatment may be a good beginning for him and you to increase his desire. I encourage you to share want you want with him. Maybe find some erotica that matches your desires and read it together. Or possibly some video that shows what you want and arouses you. If he only desires anal, there usually is a reason for that. Having said this, if you are not comfortable then listen to your body. Sexual play should be fun, pleasurable and enjoyable. Since you say that you are just discovering masturbation, take your time to discover what feels good. Enjoy your touch. Play with toys. Try bringing in your self play to partner play. At some point you may want to have him watch you pleasure yourself (a good teaching moment for him).

I know how frustrating it can be to have high desire while your partner has low desire. I have been there in my past relationship. If he is truly not attracted to you then you will need to have a very honest and open conversation about where you want the relationship to go. It can be difficult if communication is a problem (been there myself), but you will need to take care of yourself. Wish you the best, keep looking for the sex you desire.

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