Hiding Orgasms

[crznbye]

DH has an issue with coming too quicly and thanks to another thread that lead to Howard's article and tips, yes, my DH suffers from premature ejaculation. While it can be a bit of a power trip for me - knowing how easily I can make him come, its also a dissappointment because it takes me quite a while to reach orgasm.

Something DH does is to hide his orgasms from me. He'll try to pretend they haven't happened yet then as I get close to my own orgasms, he'll become a bit more vocal as if he's about ready to cum.

But, I can tell when he's orgasmed, as you can feel his penis get very hard just before he reaches orgasm, then of course it limps a bit after and the extra lube inside me. I'm happy to say, he can usually continue to stay hard after the orgasm, or at least hard enough for me to finish, but it also causes my orgasm to be harder to obtain because he isn't as hard and the extra lube takes some of the friction feeling away.

I have only had a couple really memorable orgasms that were likely gspot orgasms, and usually end up having less thrilling clitoral orgams.

DH does not like talking about sex outside the bedroom. He usually gets embarrassed and tries to change the subject. When it came to our anal issue, the easiest way was for me to email him a link to the anal sex article on too timid, but I don't think he'd be real pleased if I sent him the one on premajure ej. So, how do you broach the subject with your man so he can take some inituative to work on it.

[Tyger]

Well, I'm sure lots of our posters would agree with this:

Have your DH perform oral sex on you BEFORE intercourse. That way, you can "get yours" at least once, more if you're lucky, and then the actual intercourse. This may help for YOUR orgasms, while boosting his ego as well. I don't know a man out there that ISN'T proud when he gets his SO to come during oral sex!

[crznbye]

Well, believe it or not, I have never orgasmed from oral sex.

[todd1107]

Totally agree with Howard and Tyger- It's all in the sequence of events. Try and see if you can re-arrange things playfully since it is always easier than the OK, here is how it needs to work talk.

Also agree with Howard about the communication, you're both adults and sex is a normal, healthy activity you should be able to discuss. No communication usually = no resolution. It just prolongs your frustration and his embarrasment. Make it something non threatening at first while he adjusts, if you make it a "huge ordeal" and put it on his shoulders it probably will do more harm than good.

Ideas- Make a game of it, tell him you are extremely pleased that you get him so excited and now you want to see if you can make him orgasm without contact by having him help / watch you have several in a row. Don't start working on him until you are fully satisfied and don't let him start on himself either. Talk to him while he is playing with you, give him some feedback and help him understand what gets you off until he masters it. By the time you have had a few good ones with him helping / watching get yourself close one more time and then put him inside you. He'll be so worked up you will think you just got impaled by Mt. Vesuvius having a giant eruption. You'll likely have one more with him from the sensation. He'll feel great because he just made his woman come multiple times and had the orgasm of his life to boot. After that, when you have an "idea" he will likely listen eagerly. One more thing- towels, don't forget towels.

In addition- your drug store and lots of online stores will sell products such as prolong that add lubrication to reduce some of his sensation, it does help in many cases of the "quick draw McGraw" syndrome.

You might be cautious with Howards one suggestion of testicle manipulation for prolonging things, everyones anatomy is different and personally I had my wife try that once. The timing was just wrong as all stimulation came to an abrupt halt just prior to release and it resulted in a massively swollen prostate with part of my body thinking it just came and part of it knowing it didn't. End result was a couple of hours of irritated swelling, followed by her getting drenched and I do mean drenched. I have never let loose of so much in my life but I have also never wanted to duplicate it by spending a couple of hours with that kicked in the balls feeling to get it either.

It's a forgone conclusion you can get him to come almost at will so let yourself have some fun first, nothing at all wrong with that + the longer he waits and gets excited, the bigger the payload. Just be ready. Combine that with something like prolong and you will likely have some serious fun.....

Also- be patient with him for a while, we men can be slow at some things but we are trainable.