todd1107

One more vote for the cervix here. Almost definately it. If your doc did not find anything upon exam then it's the cervix. Some women when excited seem to have an ability to "shift" it forward, probably a desire to tightly hug what is inside of you at the time on a physical level. I have been with one woman that had the same ability, and yes, it can feel like a finger, well sort of... It's that or you have a knome or pixie living inside you, but that was sort of a middle ages trend. (wink) To add one more to Howards list of tips for PE- Tell him to think about baseball, or something similar. Sounds like corny old advice but the mind is ultimately controlling the action. By "switching channels" he'll be less like a guided missle mentally and it can slow the buildup of excitement and prolong the sex. The ultimate answer to your question is yes and no. Yes you are the reason because you must really turn him on but no because you did not get a finger growing inside you, your cervix just shifts forward when he is in you as a response, something that he will really appreciate as he gets older and settles down some. It actually feels pretty cool.....

Totally agree with Howard and Tyger- It's all in the sequence of events. Try and see if you can re-arrange things playfully since it is always easier than the OK, here is how it needs to work talk. Also agree with Howard about the communication, you're both adults and sex is a normal, healthy activity you should be able to discuss. No communication usually = no resolution. It just prolongs your frustration and his embarrasment. Make it something non threatening at first while he adjusts, if you make it a "huge ordeal" and put it on his shoulders it probably will do more harm than good. Ideas- Make a game of it, tell him you are extremely pleased that you get him so excited and now you want to see if you can make him orgasm without contact by having him help / watch you have several in a row. Don't start working on him until you are fully satisfied and don't let him start on himself either. Talk to him while he is playing with you, give him some feedback and help him understand what gets you off until he masters it. By the time you have had a few good ones with him helping / watching get yourself close one more time and then put him inside you. He'll be so worked up you will think you just got impaled by Mt. Vesuvius having a giant eruption. You'll likely have one more with him from the sensation. He'll feel great because he just made his woman come multiple times and had the orgasm of his life to boot. After that, when you have an "idea" he will likely listen eagerly. One more thing- towels, don't forget towels. In addition- your drug store and lots of online stores will sell products such as prolong that add lubrication to reduce some of his sensation, it does help in many cases of the "quick draw McGraw" syndrome. You might be cautious with Howards one suggestion of testicle manipulation for prolonging things, everyones anatomy is different and personally I had my wife try that once. The timing was just wrong as all stimulation came to an abrupt halt just prior to release and it resulted in a massively swollen prostate with part of my body thinking it just came and part of it knowing it didn't. End result was a couple of hours of irritated swelling, followed by her getting drenched and I do mean drenched. I have never let loose of so much in my life but I have also never wanted to duplicate it by spending a couple of hours with that kicked in the balls feeling to get it either. It's a forgone conclusion you can get him to come almost at will so let yourself have some fun first, nothing at all wrong with that + the longer he waits and gets excited, the bigger the payload. Just be ready. Combine that with something like prolong and you will likely have some serious fun..... Also- be patient with him for a while, we men can be slow at some things but we are trainable.

There is only 1 thing you can do. Go have sex- hot nasty intense sex that makes your legs tremble, your body go out of control and your eyes roll back while making that primal groan that only women seem to be able to make. Then- shower, rinse and repeat application as needed. It's a lot of work being in the top 5 percent. Practice, practice, practice.

Mikayla is wise beyond her years... I am 43 and she and others here are probably right. Deeper issues here in one form or another. Probably as likely if not more that he is having some form of difficulty. Biggest thing is you have to get to the truth of what it is. 14 years of marriage is not something I would want to trash based on an assumption. Without knowing his or your personality one approach could be simply finding the right time and after 14 years you will likely know when that is, and using the approach of the simple truth that you miss being close. Maybe take him off the hook a little bit with some above and beyond understanding. Things like " I know we have been together a long time and it gets to be pretty routine sometimes, I understand, lots of people get bored and look for something else and I can even understand that but it is the not knowing that is eating me up" grant some understanding to his possible problem and let him know you don't want to be judgemental, just fix things because you still care about him. It also lets him know you are having problems too. I think that would get you a lot further than accusing, harrasing or anything else. Also, see if there have been any changes in medication, diet, etc. that co-incide with the drop off in interest. He may be affected by something he does not understand and that makes it tough to try and talk about. Make it as easy as possible for him to talk and you are far more likely to get the truth.... Good luck, hope it is nothing that can't be fixed and most things can be if you both care for each other.

Hi inexperienced, Here is a slightly different male point of view based on a recent experience. My second oldest son got married in June of this year and both he and his g/f waited, not until they got married but about a month before. My kids are very frank with me and he came to me with a problem a couple of months before. He said they wanted to wait but both were afraid that a first time on a honeymoon night could be an awkward way to start things off, they didn't know what to do. My advice was that they had already "waited" for each other and I thought he was right, it could be very awkward and not a honeymoon memory he might want to carry. He took my advice and they got some experience prior to the wedding but only by a month or so. Both were glad they did, but they were both even happier that they had waited the time they had. Sex and marriage are both new things to them now and they are having the time of thier lives- I hardly see my boy these days, way to go kid! All their friends, other parents, etc. were under the presumption that they were both still virgins on the wedding day ( which really wasn't their business but people talk ). You should have seen all the guys and girls both that stood around and talked about how incredibly special such a thing was in our modern age and how lucky both of them were. Most of his college buddies who just spent 4 years telling girls that being a virgin wasn't cool were wishing they knew one they liked.... I know in their case it was something they both decided early on ( they started dating in 8th grade and got married after both graduated college ) they were going to remain virgins until marriage. It is not for everyone but if you have held back this long it is probably for a reason and one that is important to you at that. Don't compromise that because you feel behind, not experienced, etc. A lot of women equate sex and commitment and I think that is pretty natural when you consider one possible outcome of sex- children and a lifetime of raising them. If a guy does not appreciate the fact you are a virgin, well, odds are your values may not line up at all and that is a big thing to consider. I guess that is where I don't fully agree with 'find a trusted friend and let them have you" when it is not someone you have a long term interest in. You might or might not feel bad afterward along the lines of waiting all this time, passing on having sex with guys you wanted to have sex with all to end up having sex with someone you have no interest in. You could feel anything from cheap to cheated and that has the potential to mess with you and your view of sex long term. One good way to know if a guy truly has feelings for you is to see if one will wait a while. If all he wants is sex or that is his main interest he'll be gone soon enough. If he really cares about you he'll wait until you are ready. He may try, but he will respect a "no, not yet". If he hangs around for a while ( and isn't some loser with nothing better to do ) then 2 things are probably true- 1. He really cares about you. 2. He probably at least has similar values. Those are both great things, once you know you have them then you decide when the time is right and go with it. If he really cares and knows you are a virgin he is going to appreciate that a whole lot ( that you saved yourself just for him ) and believe me, he isn't going to be looking for some porn star sexual performance. He'll move slow and let you gain some experience and once you do, no doubt you will rock his world for a long time to come. In my opinion that beats an awkward night with someone you aren't interested in just for the sake of experience by a long ways. There are still guys out there that will really appreciate your status, don't be ashamed of it or in a hurry to get rid of it because that's about the time one will come along- right afterward. By all means, go out and meet lots of guys. Be sure of what you want and trust who you are is someone that has an equally special guy looking for them. Fate is an amazing thing, don't cheat it. In the mean time, grab your toys and go to town. Being sexually frustrated really sucks too. It just seems a shame to throw away all that waiting on a "non event", especially because somebody will really appreciate it. I saw a whole church full of people that thought it was nothing short of awesome. He's out there, now go and find him and don't settle until you do. Just one guys opinion..... Best of luck no matter what.

Hey Otis- You might want to consider the ways in which this could work to your advantage and the ways it makes you fortunate. Personally I am on the other end of the spectrum and while it might have an initial wow factor it can be quite limiting in practical use. There is nothing like getting naked with a girl you have never been with just to have her look at you and say "You're crazy if you think you are going to stick THAT in me!" It's only happened twice which was 2 times too many. Then there is "usual" sex where you typically have to put it part of the way in and no more. Not the most satisfying and if you go too far out of enthusiasm the woman you are trying to please contorts and grimaces with pain and sometimes stops you when stopping is the last thing you want to do. (Big Bummer) Anal sex, forget it unless the woman you are with is higher than a kite or has so much practice at it they are confident it's no problem, neither is much of a turn on for me. So be careful what you ask for, personally I have often wondered how many more things I could try and experience if I was smaller. Everyone wants what they don't have and most of the time they never look at the downside of having it. I know it's difficult when you hear many women talking about some guy and how amazingly huge he was with wide eyes and then hear the same woman or others in different circumstances saying that size doesn't matter, etc. It's like who do you believe? My experience tells me this- 1. The human brain is the largest sex organ in the body. It's good that you are asking questions and willing to listen to answers, most guys don't. I have a buddy going through a divorce right now because he found evidence of his wife's cheating on the home computer. When I talked to him about it his first defense was to say "Hell, I gave it to her all the time. It's not like she was wanting for good sex." I didn't have the heart to tell him that among other things ( it's never that simple ) that is exactly what she was looking for. Emotionally and sexually fulfilled women rarely cheat. So do exactly what you are doing- communicate and then LISTEN. You will have the keys to the kingdom in no time and be able to give any woman the best sex she has ever had because you will understand what stimulates her mind. If you can do that effectively she will pop off one orgasm after another.... seriously. Ladies, would you not agree? Some women are actually able to get right to the brink of orgasm without being touched just by the power of the mind and when you do touch them- it's explosive. 2. Your size allows you to try/do much more than if you were toting around a cannon. Anal, most women won't run screaming and will indulge that curiousity if they never have before. Oral, most women can "take it all" without throwing up their dinner in your lap after gagging. What a thrill that is..... The most important thing is you are unlikely to fall into the trap of "once she has some of THIS, blah, blah". You will be able to maintain perspective on how important other things are in sex, and they are VERY important. Carrying around a baseball bat in your pants might impress some at first but frankly the practical side has no wow factor at all. If you forget that women are more emotionally anchored when it comes to sex ( yes, yes, I know there are plenty of exceptions but on average now... ) and have a much greater need for communication both before and after you will lose them EVERY time sooner or later. i.e.- women often need "cuddle time" whereas most men think of such things as a waste of time, at least until they are walking out the door and taking "your pussy" with them. 3. Guys that will talk and especially listen when it comes to sex and problems with usually win. It can be a challenge with some women to get them to talk about certain things regarding sex. We learn early on that 95% of the time if you ask a woman how you are doing, if you are really "flipping her switch", etc. that the answer will come back "Oh, you're wonderful, I couldn't ask for more". Yet we also see an infidelity rate of 40-50%, which is better than they see from us but the numbers still don't jibe.... remember that you have 2 ears and one mouth- listen twice as much as you talk. If you won't listen they certainly won't tell you what you need to know. In that respect you are off to a great start.... I can't help but think of Sam Kinison's routine on this...."women won't tell you what they really want and need, they'll tell their sister, they'll tell their mother and they'll tell all your friends...but they won't tell YOU" Something tells me Sam wasn't as good of a listener as a talker..... Again, the brain is the largest sexual organ in the body. Sounds like yours is plenty big so frankly you are ahead of many, many men out there and you have nothing to be ashamed of at all, heck dude, you have been blessed with a true "multi-purpose tool". You have advantages lots of guys don't so you might want to consider it something other than a "curse". Once you overcome the confidence / self-acceptance part of it the ladies will be calling you "McGuyver" in no time at all because you are whipping out surprise after surprise. ( they love that ) The minute it stops being a problem for you it won't be a problem for the VAST majority of women. If you are not really focused on it ( realize it is not a problem ) they won't be focused on it either, they will be too busy having fun and so will you. A guy with a huge imagination will thrill a woman a lot more than a guy with a huge honker, trust me, I have this on very good authority. My former wife modeled for years and was one of the top 5 in Hawaii for a long time, during that time she dated a certain TV / Movie celebrity that, if I recall correctly, was a "sexiest man alive" for people magazine one year. Her opinion of the sexiest man alive- Robin Williams, in her own words "by far". Imagination is more important than size - almost an Einstein quote.... When you see it as a problem and that is your focus, they will focus on it too. When you see it as an advantage that lets you do more things both of you enjoy without problems ( like taking a long drive to the ER in the middle of the night because she's bleeding and then having to explain why to the Dr. ) she will see it as "full of interesting possibilities" also and respond accordingly. Keep your focus on all the good things about it and so will she. Always remember- It's not the size of the dog, it's how hard he BITES. Best of luck.