Newbie CuriousCat Posted July 31, 2019 Newbie Report Share Posted July 31, 2019 I have dated the same man on and off for 8 years. He rarely initiates sex (unless he has smoked weed). Even when he tries to initiate it he gives a tickle to my hip or foot and is more playful than amorous acting. Though I am use to (and prefer) a passionate firm touch and handling to translate desire, I have accommodated this touch. He rarely looks at me. there was an incident when he had been folding towels when I stroll in naked, he doesn't even blink. Sometimes I lean over the counter and push my butt out in hopes of a look or little slap. He doesn't even notice. We now work different shifts. He is sleeping when I shower and I go to bed while he is still at work. We will go weeks without being intimate. I have discussed all of this with him. He tells me that his mother told him to respect women. I'm not sure how that explains. I have asked what else i could do to make myself more appealing to him. I have a nice body, but I told him I would work out more. I have tried sexy outfits. I have rubbed on lotions. I have even tried doing many of the house hold jobs he does, just because you always read that if a man does dishes the woman is more inclined to have sex with him (I thought perhaps the opposite might be true). I hear all the ladies at my work complaining about their men not letting them sleep, groping them and wanting sex every night. I'm like, at least you feel desired, I bet you know your spouse wants you. Is it really too much to give him a few mins of your time? I always tend to be the male advocate. It wears on your self esteem to always be the one asking. He is a very good man other than this. Very generous and smart. He certainly is some women's dream, he can fix anything, he cleans house and he isn't going to keep you up at night. I have purchased toys. Though they cant look at me or touch me like I am attractive they might spur him to participate. Any advice? 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Haywood25 Posted August 6, 2019 Members Report Share Posted August 6, 2019 Same predicament only I am a male Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Satin panties Posted August 6, 2019 Members Report Share Posted August 6, 2019 So maybe medical, low testosterone maybe he is bi and likes cream. You sound like your doing all the things most guy would want or could want. Are you much more experimental or kinky than him? Maybe that scares him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amy D Posted October 5, 2019 Members Report Share Posted October 5, 2019 May be stress related - does he have a stressful job? He sounds like a great guy, so just be patient. I'm sure he'll eventually come around if you keep trying to get his interest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mark7even Posted October 5, 2019 Members Report Share Posted October 5, 2019 Wow I'm this guy only the opposite is true. I open car doors and all the things men should do for a woman. I can't really give advise because I have the same issues. If you love him and he treats you well sometimes we have to live with the sacrifices. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rio Posted October 6, 2019 Members Report Share Posted October 6, 2019 Sorry curiouscat for your dilemma. I can't offer any more insight other than what everybody else had done but you sound like an amazing woman and I hope he comes around for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amy D Posted October 6, 2019 Members Report Share Posted October 6, 2019 An interesting conversation. I'm sure there is someone out there that is perfect for each of us. Enjoys sex to the same degree, a mutual sexual attraction, similar desires in life, etc. AKA a soul mate. Just sad it's so difficult to find that person. But the search can be fun, fortunately. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Haywood25 Posted October 7, 2019 Members Report Share Posted October 7, 2019 Cat, I hope things have changed for the better ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Haywood25 Posted October 7, 2019 Members Report Share Posted October 7, 2019 On 10/6/2019 at 12:12 PM, Amy D said: An interesting conversation. I'm sure there is someone out there that is perfect for each of us. Enjoys sex to the same degree, a mutual sexual attraction, similar desires in life, etc. AKA a soul mate. Just sad it's so difficult to find that person. But the search can be fun, fortunately. I’m on the search daily, but never go through with it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesniak Posted January 28, 2020 Members Report Share Posted January 28, 2020 On 10/6/2019 at 12:12 PM, Amy D said: An interesting conversation. I'm sure there is someone out there that is perfect for each of us. Enjoys sex to the same degree, a mutual sexual attraction, similar desires in life, etc. AKA a soul mate. Just sad it's so difficult to find that person. But the search can be fun, fortunately. I found her, but only after making 2 expensive mistakes and looking for years. I was so discouraged I spent many months not looking at all. I did not find the search fun at all - I hated it. I did find her, but didn't know it was "her" for 10 years. After we had known each other for a decade we finally realized we were meant for each other. We are compatible in every important way. The sex is amazing (I'm actually here on TT because I wore out our favorite vibrator on her) but so is a quiet Sunday at home together, visiting friends, or a family gathering - we conspire to get along in any circumstance. I am so blessed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Urspecialfun Posted February 23, 2020 Members Report Share Posted February 23, 2020 Same thing as well except I'm a male. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lovebbwphatp Posted March 17, 2020 Members Report Share Posted March 17, 2020 On 7/31/2019 at 8:15 AM, CuriousCat said: I have dated the same man on and off for 8 years. He rarely initiates sex (unless he has smoked weed). Even when he tries to initiate it he gives a tickle to my hip or foot and is more playful than amorous acting. Though I am use to (and prefer) a passionate firm touch and handling to translate desire, I have accommodated this touch. He rarely looks at me. there was an incident when he had been folding towels when I stroll in naked, he doesn't even blink. Sometimes I lean over the counter and push my butt out in hopes of a look or little slap. He doesn't even notice. We now work different shifts. He is sleeping when I shower and I go to bed while he is still at work. We will go weeks without being intimate. I have discussed all of this with him. He tells me that his mother told him to respect women. I'm not sure how that explains. I have asked what else i could do to make myself more appealing to him. I have a nice body, but I told him I would work out more. I have tried sexy outfits. I have rubbed on lotions. I have even tried doing many of the house hold jobs he does, just because you always read that if a man does dishes the woman is more inclined to have sex with him (I thought perhaps the opposite might be true). I hear all the ladies at my work complaining about their men not letting them sleep, groping them and wanting sex every night. I'm like, at least you feel desired, I bet you know your spouse wants you. Is it really too much to give him a few mins of your time? I always tend to be the male advocate. It wears on your self esteem to always be the one asking. He is a very good man other than this. Very generous and smart. He certainly is some women's dream, he can fix anything, he cleans house and he isn't going to keep you up at night. I have purchased toys. Though they cant look at me or touch me like I am attractive they might spur him to participate. Any advice? Sorry to hear this.im a male going through the same with my wife.no matter how soft or nice I am and passionate as I can be.nothing seems to arouse her like it use to.i know time changes people,but I go the extra mile to let know how beautiful and desirable she is.it like no feeling being reflected back and no interest but occasionally.would be great if we met up and could fill that void Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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