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Anxiety about sex

Husband 8

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So I am a married man only 4 months and 28. My wife is also about to be 28. I find myself (and even found myself during our honeymoon) having a lot of anxiety during on the topic of sex. We had some open conversations about it but for two textbook overthinkers, that doesn't always help. The biggest reason I have it is because I don't have a super high sex drive (stigma around that especially being young) and because she has yet to have an orgasm. Seeing her have pleasure gives me pleasure so me cumming every time and she never cumming makes me feel guilty. We have toys, g spot stuffs oils, and clitoris stimulation. She's been aroused for sure but that's it. So, my question is this: 

How can I as her husband, help my wife orgasm? And what can I do to increase my sex drive?


Please note, I have an 8 inch penis, I workout, eat healthy on average, and would love to pursue this as natural as possible. Thanks

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Every woman’s body is different and that’s part of the enjoyment of monogamous sex, having the time to figure out each other’s buttons.  

I understand your frustration but slow down, enjoy the process. As long as you’re concerned with her pleasure  you’ll figure it out together. 

Does she orgasm from masturbation?  If yes,  have her show you. A lot of women can only orgasm from oral or direct clitoral stimulation. Again, not a bad thing just a fact.  So practice, practice, practice, I’ve never met a woman who would complain about too much oral.  

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I’ve heard that having an orgasm for a woman is more in her head than stimulating her sensitive parts. 

Maybe you can talk with her about what is making her anxious. She may not even be anxious but she can absorb some of your anxiety. 

You both may benefit from marriage counseling or seeing a sex therapist. Maybe you need to share your fantasies with each other or watch porn or a really sexy movie. It’s possible that you could be so focused on the finish that you’re not really taking the time to enjoy the trip. 

I hope you are able to find ways to help each other relax and enjoy yourselves. 

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